


Alone Together

by StoryQueen



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, Emotional Manipulation, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Kiss, First Love, First Meetings, Forced Marriage, Heartbreak, M/M, Manipulation, Mental Health Issues, Multi, On the Run, POV First Person, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Runaway, Sabriel - Freeform, Schizophrenia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-11
Updated: 2014-09-01
Packaged: 2018-02-12 17:55:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 22
Words: 44,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2119275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StoryQueen/pseuds/StoryQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"There's no better way of starting this story than by telling you that it's not going to be a happy story. I would have liked to tell you it's a romantic love story, with shy pinning, gentle kisses and passionate sex, but it's not. Quite the contrary, really."</p><p> </p><p>After his success with his book 'Supernatural', Carver Edlund (aka Chuck Shurley) publishes his book titled 'Alone Together', the story about the year he watched his next door neighbour go through a forced engagement, depression, a great plan and true love, all for a tragic ending that is not beautiful in any sense of the word.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Stubbornness

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE READ!!!
> 
> Hello! Author Jess here!
> 
> If you would like to draw fan art from this fic, or make a trailer, or anything related to this fic, please contact me on my email to ask. I would really love to see some art made out of this fic!
> 
> (Email: jessthequeenofstories@gmail.com)
> 
> I hope you like it! I spend ages making this! I'm sorry if I make you cry!
> 
> Love you all forever!
> 
> Inspired by: Fall Out Boy- Save Rock And Roll album. Love those guys! <3  
> Big thanks to: iam-fandomlocked.tumblr.com
> 
> Character Asks and ect will be posted in the 22nd chapter, so leave a comment there and I'll answer them! :D

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's no better way of starting this story than by telling you that it's not going to be a happy story. I would have liked to tell you it's a romantic love story, with shy pinning, gentle kisses and passionate sex, but it's not. Quite the contrary, really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ!!!
> 
> Hello! Author Jess here!
> 
> If you would like to draw fan art from this fic, or make a trailer, or anything related to this fic, please contact me on my personal Tumblr to ask. I would really love to see some art made out of this fic!
> 
> I hope you like it! I spend ages making this! I'm sorry if I make you cry!
> 
> Love you all forever!

There's never a great way to start a story, especially if you know that the story has a sad ending. You know you have to write the story perfectly, with just the right about of tension when you need it, building up to the dramatic plot twists and the epic ending. But, you have to start the story right for it all to work.

There's no better way of starting this story than by telling you that it's not going to be a happy story. I would have liked to tell you it's a romantic love story, with shy pinning, gentle kisses and passionate sex, but it's not. Quite the contrary, really.

This is the story of my next door neighbour. We didn't really talk much- in fact, we only starting speaking about halfway through this story- but I soon became someone he trusted.

His name was Dean Winchester. He was an eighteen year old college student who spent a lot of time down at the diner. If you met him (not now though. Before...) you would have thought he was a flirt. He wore a brown, leather jacket everywhere he went: school, the diner, in his bedroom. He always had this smug look on his face, a flirty wink at the ready. He had these hypnotic green eyes, and these hands that would drag his victims under his spell. The spell would always wear off the next morning though, usually leaving Dean to nestle his bruised jaw or laugh off another one-night stand.

He lived with his two brothers and his parents in a normal-sized home. I think his house and my house are the same layout, so I can imagine where everything is in his house. Facing the house, he had the front, right room. His brother, Sam, who was a year younger than Dean, probably had the front, left room (equivalent of my room. His and my bedroom were next to each other, both having windows so we could look into each other's rooms [not that I did often, cause that would be weird...] ). I thought Adam might have shared a room with Sam, but I later heard from Sam that he actually has a room in the attic. Adam's a nice kid, I think three years younger than Dean. Dean's parents- I think their names are John and Mary- have the bedroom at the back of the house. They're a sweet couple.

The Winchester's were a strange bunch. Them themselves were not; Dean was a normal guy, Sam was a nerd, Adam was in the science club, John owned a garage and Mary volunteered at the orphanage. It's just, the whole town knew who they were.

Our town, Earthworld, is an industrial town, to say the least. Not a lot of people live here, probably about five-hundred in total, and that's not including the Novaks, but a lot of people certainly work here. We have a primary school, a high school and a college where most of the kids go. There's the diner, called The Polka Dot, where Dean use to hang out, and there's the skate park, the cinema and the row of shops along Main Street. And of course, there's the Heaven® factories.

Heaven® is a large business that rules over quite a lot of the country's stock exchange and deals with a lot of areas of business, from food supplies to TV shows. It reminds me a bit of the time Dick Roman conquered America, but that was a long time ago. Heaven® is owned by George Owen David Novak, but he calls himself God. He's a stubborn man with too much power and too little consideration for the smaller people. Oh, and he's a big family man. And when I say big, I mean big. He married Aphrodite long before I was born, and boom, out popped four children. But, as men with money do, he married again, still married to his first wife. Venus gave him ten children. He married again, and I lost count of how many children Aine gave him. He married two more times, to Rati and Prende, and I'm sure he had roughly one-hundred children now.

Michael was his first child. He's a decent lad, a year or two older than Dean, with looks to die for. I have heard Dean joke around, saying that Michael looks a lot like his dad when he was younger, and honestly, I can see the resemblance. Michael is the head boss at the Heaven® HQ in the middle of Earthworld, and he does a good job. The building is the most successful one in the business, and God lets everyone know of how well his son is doing. (See, God is very boastful of his company.) I haven't met Michael up in person, but I've seen him around. Like I said, he seems decent, helping old ladies across the road and smiling at everyone he goes past. He's a devout son, I know that much.

I know that Lucifer was God's second child. Everyone knows about him. He's a trouble maker, though he never seems to get on the wrong side of the law. He use to work with his older brother in the Heaven® HQ- assistant manager, if I recall- but he quit his job, moved out of his house (which is a mansion, if you haven't of guessed) and lived with his friends in an apartment a few streets away from where I live. He's in the same year as Dean, but I don't think the two of them mix. Lucifer seems more interested with Sam, but I'll come to that in a bit.

I could go on about the different children God has (like my good friend Balthazar or my ex-girlfriend, Anna) but I would be here all day. There's only two other sons you need to know about.

Gabriel, I think, was God's fourth son. He's in the same year as Sam, and the two of them are best friends. I don't see them together, but I know they're together. I followed them a while back down to the old, abandoned warehouse behind the college. Sounds dodgy, but apparently they just talk, writing stories out loud of the tales of the lives they wish they lived. Gabriel may be rich, but I know he doesn't like the lifestyle.

And then there's Castiel. I would like to say that Castiel is a sweet guy who is beautiful in every sense of the word, but he's not. He's the runt of the pack. He was probably dropped at birth while his mother tried to juggle the children. Castiel has this sort of look about him that makes you think he's sweet and innocent, but he's not. No, he's not some serial killer, or whatever though, don't get me wrong. It was about a year and a half ago that he was let out of Earthworld's Mental Institution, probably sent home to live a normal life as part of a rehabilitation scheme. He's a paranoia schizophrenic with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after witnessing his brother Uriel's death about two years ago. Apparently Castiel and Uriel were walking home from school when they were attacked, raped and tortured. Castiel was only saved after the police got on the scene, although it was a little too late for his brother.

Castiel is not beautiful in any way possible. His outsides are bruised and shredded while his insides are an abomination to mankind.

But, I was getting somewhere before I went off track. The Winchester's- yes. I was saying before how they're famous in the town.

Heaven® owns all the shops and businesses in the whole county (yeah, I told you, just like Dick Roman). That is, all except one business.

Winchester & Son is a small garage down behind Main Street, and everyone in the whole county knows that this garage is the best garage in the town. John and Dean work there, a family run business, and these two are the best damn mechanic I've ever seen. It's about two years ago that my car broke down, and I swear, they must have spend- what- two hours on it, and it was like they had given me a new car! They're geniuses.

Now, God is very stubborn, and this small business is the needle in his haystack of fame and fortune. He wants it, needs to own it, be in control of it, but John won't sell it. Good on him, if you ask me! God has been criticised by the media for not owning this one business, and every time God turns his back, John's there, accidentally and unpurposely smudging fingerprints on his glass statues of himself that the media seems to carve.

In other words, despite trying all the legal and illegal actions against John, Winchester & Son will never be God's, and that pisses him off.

They came to a solution a year ago, on New Year's Eve. God promised John that he would leave Winchester & Son alone if John promised that the first and second born of both families should be married together exactly a year from the deal date. The year gap was so that they could get to know each other before they got married. (Oh, how kind of God...) John was reluctant, but he had to agree. He was stubborn too. Ah, it's always stubbornness that makes stories more interesting.

Dean was raged by this, to say the least. I remember sitting in my room, trying to write my (unsuccessful) novel, watching through the window as Dean thrashed around his room, throwing books and pillows into the walls, screaming and shouting as he attacked his duvet with all the force of a hurricane. It would have been amusing if it wasn't for the look of pure horror and utter heartbreak that consumed his entire body. I think anyone would act that way if they were told that they had to marry Michael Novak, simply because his father was a stubborn man who wanted to keep his business. Dean was a straight man with reputation, who now also had an engagement forced upon him.

I don't know how Sam reacted to having to marry Lucifer. I could imagine that Sam found a scarf or a tie, cause I remember watching Dean through the window that night pulling a crying Sam forcefully into his room and wrapping himself and his brother tightly in his bed, not letting go of each other. It was sweet, and part of me wishes that I had such a loving brother like that. I don't though. I live with a geeky lesbian, a socially-awkward Vietnamese and a dorky guy in a baseball cap.


	2. The Burn of Alcohol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The row of houses on the other side of the street was blocking the sun set, but the clouds in the spring sky were glowing a calm shade of pinky-orange. Beyond the rooftops, the top floor of the Novak mansion was poking up, a small reminder that in this town, there is no escaping the Novaks. They're always watching over us, like hawks waiting for their prey to be distracted before striking down on us.

Dean kept himself locked in his room for the whole of January. His curtains were closed most of the time, and I can imagine he just lay in bed, staring at the Buffy poster by his door, waiting for an answer to come to him. I know that's what I would do. I'd drink as well, drink more than I usually drink, so I can imagine that there was a few bottles of Jack and whiskey lay around Dean's floor.

I remember seeing his walk to school in February, Sam close by, Adam trailing behind. It was strange that the deal had brought the Winchester boys closer together. I can't say for sure what happened to the brothers while they were in school. I'm just an observer for the first half of this year, just an alcoholic writer with too much time on my hands to do anything other than watch my next door neighbour be dragged into depression and then be dragged back out again.

Dean left his curtains open in February. I spent more time watching him then, not in a pervy way, or even an obsessive way. I was just concerned for him. The news had spread like wildfire after New Year, so I'm not surprised Dean locked himself up for the first month. Sam still went to school, but he would always come home with bruises and cuts on his face. I thought he was being bullied for being engaged, but I thought it would be rude to ask about it. The injuries stopped after Dean went back to school. Dean's a rottweiler for his brothers.

I watched Dean through the window. I would look up every ten minutes or so to find him somewhere else in his room. Sometimes he'd read on his bed, a saga called 'Moondoor' (my housemate Charlie reads them). Sometimes he'll put a record on his old record player, bouncing around the room, headbanging and jumping off his bed. Sometimes he'll put his laptop at the end of his bed and log onto Busty Asian Beauties, but that's only when I'm about to go downstairs for dinner. (I don't watch him, I swear...) I would say I wish he'd have closed the bloody curtains, but I feel it's those curtains being open that will help me write this story a bit better.

February was unproductive, to say the least. Dean had gone from depressed to be an arrogant son-of-a-bitch who disrespected his father and lived a mopey teenage life. March is when he started to act normal again. I saw him less through the windows and more at the diner, trying to pick up girl at the bar table. This was around the time that I started dating Becky, a girl from Sam's year who was a friend of Garth. She was nice; a little obsessive, but at least she seemed interested in my writing. She wasn't my excuse for watching Dean at the diner, I was just wanting to make sure that my neighbour was okay, so watched him while I was on a date with Becky. Needless to say, that's probably the reason she broke up with me, though she seemed to stick around for a good few months. Must have been desperate.

Dean got rejected quite a lot while trying to pick up girls. I believe it was either because everyone was scared of what God would do if they found out they had slept with his future son-in-law, or because they all thought Dean was gay. It was kind of depressing to watch, like watching a puppy falling down a step.

I didn't see much of Sam during February and March, even in April. Dean told me later it was because he was with Gabriel in the warehouse. I only ever saw Sam walking back into his house just before the sun set, smiling to himself before wiping it off his face before returning to his family.

April came around, and I remember talking to Dean for the first time then. He was sat on the pavement in front of his house next to the Impala that was always parked there, nursing a bottle of rum by his feet. I was on my way to meet up with Becky, but I thought I should go talk to him. I sat down next to him and smiled.

"Hey, Dean."

He looked at me, confused for a moment, but then smiled back. "Hi... Carver, isn't it?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Everyone calls me Chuck, though."

He nodded back, turning to look across the road. The row of houses on the other side of the street was blocking the sun set, but the clouds in the spring sky were glowing a calm shade of pinky-orange. Beyond the rooftops, the top floor of the Novak mansion was poking up, a small reminder that in this town, there is no escaping the Novaks. They're always watching over us, like hawks waiting for their prey to be distracted before striking down on us.

"So," I said, but then gave a cough. I'm not exactly the best at making friends, and my words seem to come out better written down then out loud. Dean saved me.

"What' ya want?"

I stumbled on words for a few seconds before stopping myself. We were both quiet for a moment before I answered with a sigh. "You okay?"

Dean chuckled, raising his bottle to take a swig from it. He thrusted it in my direction once he had finished, which I gratefully took. Taking a swig myself, used to the burning of alcohol, I handed the bottle back, nodding a thanks. Part of me wanted to talk about the whole marriage situation Dean had, but it was arranged three months ago, and I think Dean just wanted to get lost in a unsober world and forget the truth. I stayed silent, granted, it was slightly awkward, since we never talked much before, but part of me wanted to be friends with this boy.

"How's school?"

Dean turned and gave me this look, I don't think he meant it to mean anything, but it's the kind of look a teenager would give their parents when they tried to act younger. Makes sense really. I finished college two years ago, so to Dean I was practically an adult.

"It's alright," he answered, taking another gulp of his drink. I thought we would go into another awkward silence, but Dean spoke again. "Been pretty rough, actually."

I hummed. "People giving you a hard time?"

Dean scrunched his face. "Nah, I don't care what people think about me or do to me, it's Sam I'm worried about."

I wanted to comment about the injuries Sam seemed to get a few months ago, but that was in the past. "He getting bullied?"

"It's that bloody Lucifer." Dean stopped, though he seemed like he wanted to say more, but he sighed, relaxing all of his tense muscles before dropping his head to look at the pavement. "What' ya want?" he asked again.

"You okay?"

He looked up and glared confused at me. "What do you want, Carver."

"Chuck."

His glare turned spiteful, but then he stood up, taking his bottle with him, and turned to walk inside. I stayed where I was sat for a few minutes, probably would have stayed longer if Becky didn't call me.


	3. Paper Cuts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avoiding contact with the Novaks is impossible.
> 
> Avoiding Heaven® is also impossible.

Avoiding contact with the Novaks is impossible. Avoiding Heaven® is also impossible. So at the start of April, a few days after talking with Dean, I gathered up my papers and walked down to Heaven® HQ. Like I said before, they deal with a lot of areas of business, so if I had any chance of publishing my book, it would be there.

I walked into the main foyer of Heaven® HQ, trying to ignore the hustle and bustle of people around me. It was hard to ignore them walking past, getting in my way as I walked up to the line of people wanting to talk to someone about this, that and the other. I remember seeing Raphael stood talking to a group of people. She's the new assistant-manager after Lucifer quit, and there's quite a lot of mixed views about her. She is quite self-centred, from what I can tell. She had the money, so she spent it on a sex change. (Yeah, she use to be a dude.) But, gotta say, it payed off, not that she's my type or anything, or that a taken man would think that at the time. I also spotted Anna (who I tried my best to avoid, inevitably making eye contact with her and making her glare daggers at me).

Waiting in line, I met Balthazar Novak. Like I said before, he's now a very good friend to me, and I would say he's very important in my life story, but you're not here for my story, you're here for Dean's. Balthazar was on his day off, not needing to work at his father's company HQ, but he was there anyway, having a general natter with everyone. He was talking with Anna when he spotted me, and after, I assume, asking Anna who I was, he came over to me with a smile.

"So, you're the guy who writes stories instead of poems," he said with a cheeky smile. I tried to smile back.

"Anna and I, we-"

"Oh, honey, I know. Anna is a bitch who sleeps with everyone. It's part of a rebellion thing; she's got a freedom complex at the moment." Balthazar placed an arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer to him as if we were old friends. "So, you here to see Metatron?"

I was about to ask who, but I then assumed that Metatron was the guy the person at the front desk was going to direct me to. I nodded.

"Well, I can get you a fast pass there, if you want." Balthazar wiggled his eyebrows at me, the smirky smile still on his lips.

"Yeah, thanks," I said quickly. Balthazar patted my back before walking away, leading me off into the back. I heard some people in line mumble about me cutting in line, but part of me didn't care. There was too many people there anyway.

Balthazar led me to an elevator labelled 'Staff Only'. I stopped to question it, but he just gave me a smile. "Look, honey, Anna is an annoying bitch who deserved her heart to be broken. You're my friend now."

I felt bad when he said this- Anna was nice while we were dating, not to much afterwards, though- but I accepted his friendship and joined him in the elevator with about seven other Novaks. We got off on the eleventh floor, walking down the corridor to a room labelled 'Written Media'. With a pat on my back from my new friend and a new number in contacts, I was left alone.

It took me ten minutes to work up the courage to knock on the door. I did, softly, but the noise seemed to echo throughout the room behind the door. A faint "come in" was shouted, so I turned the door handle and pushed it open. Metatron was sat at a desk in a completely white room, piles of paper around him. He had reading glasses on his nose and was scanning a piece of paper as I walked up to him. He looked up as I stopped.

"Ah, I suppose you're another bloody author wanted to be published," he said in a harsh tone. I cringed before nodding. Metatron rolled his eyes, placing the piece of paper down on the table before holding out his hand expectantly. I stumbled with my papers, handing them to him quickly. He rolled his eyes again at my awkwardness but then pointed to a seat. "Sit." I sat down quietly.

As he read over the first few paragraphs of my story, I took the time to look around the room. It was just plain white, nothing really to look at, but it was then that I noticed the person in the corner by the door. He was sat on a chair, legs tucked up, reading from a book he was holding precariously in his shaking hands. He seemed to be struggling to read, like his concentration was not all that focused, and every few seconds he flinched, his eyes squeezing shut and his shoulders jumping. I recognised him from the front of the newspaper a few years ago.

This was Castiel Novak, and I took pity and loathed him at the same time when I first saw him. He looked such a mess, wearing a dirty trench coat and a plain white T-shirt and khakis pants. He looked like a small child and an old man all in one with the face of a young adult. He surely must have been around Dean's age, maybe a year older, I don't know.

I didn't look at him too long, bringing my attention back to Metatron. The man started tutting, glaring at my work like it was the morning news. After a few minutes, he spoke. "What is this shit?"

"It's-" I tried, but I cut myself off. There was no point in trying to explain myself. I knew the story was shit, I just really needed the money.

"Why would anyone want to read this?" He turned back to the front page and read the blurb I had written at the top out loud. "Along a lonely California highway, a mysterious woman in white lures men to their deaths - a terrifying phenomenon that may be the friends' first clue to their father's whereabouts." He threw the papers onto his desk and lent back in his seat. "Carver, this is shit. I mean, Sam Wesson and Dean Smith? And why are both their fathers missing? Just-" Metatron scrunched his face and raised his hands. "My father's wrote better than this shit, and he write instruction manuals for our jobs!"

I frowned, dropping my head to look at my lap. A voice from behind me made me look up. "It sounds interesting."

Metatron glared at Castiel. "You've said that to everyone who's come in here today." He stood up from behind his desk, picking up his mug as he walked past me and towards the door. "Why am I stuck babysitting you?" I felt forgotten, but I didn't say anything. Metatron stopped before he left to glare at Castiel. "You're a little shit, you know that. You're dad's only mistake, and everyone hates you. Go kill yourself," and with that, he was gone.

I expected Castiel to burst out crying, but he seemed to accept his brother's words. He smiled at the air where Metatron was stood, closing his book slowly. He seemed used to the torment. I stood up from my chair, gathering up my papers before walking towards the door. Again, I felt like I should say something, tell Castiel to ignore him, but who was I to intervene. Never mess with a Novak.

I was about to leave when Castiel spoke to me. "May I?" His hand was thrusted outwards, palm to the roof. His eyes were locked on the papers tucked under my arm. I stared at him blankly for a moment before thinking 'what the hell' and I handed him my story.

"It's rubbish," I said, watching him pull the papers close to his face and stare at the page-full of words.

"It's not. Metatron says all that to everyone." He read a few lines slowly before continuing, "The meaner he is, the more he likes it."

I cocked my head at this, but I didn't get an answer. I didn't know whether I should walk away and leave the loon to read in peace or whether to wait for him to hand it back to me. He spoke before I could choose.

"I like Dean's character."

As you'd probably guess, Dean Smith and Sam Wesson are based off Dean and Sam from next door, but, hey, a guy needs his inspiration from somewhere. (I didn't write about Adam because he's kind of boring.) I was going to make them brothers, but I thought if Sam and Dean ever read my published books, they'd think I was some perverty freak (which technically, I am, since I watched them a lot, but it was simply out of curiosity).

"Yeah, well, he's based of someone I know," I replied truthfully. Castiel smiled a little bit, turning his head slightly to the side as he concentrated harder on reading the words. His shoulders twitched and his hands shook, his eyes glancing across the words for a few seconds before glancing up across the room before squeezing his eyes shut before going back to reading.

"I would like to meet this Dean person."

Maybe Castiel didn't remember about his eldest brother, Michael, being engaged to a Dean.

"Well, if you're allowed, I could try and get him to hang out with you," I said, trying to sound nice, but again I felt awkward. Castiel was mentally ill, I don't know how mentally unstable he was, whether he was allowed to make friends or go out without a supervisor, and the more I felt like I was judging him, the more I felt awkward.

"Generally I'm not allowed outside," he replied, turning the page with a thoughtful look on his face, "that is, unless I'm with Rachel watching the bees, but there again," he looked up, giving me a smile, "your friend could come around to my house."

"Yeah, I'll see what I can do." I was only later when I walked out that I realised that Dean probably wanted to be as far away from the Novak household as possible.

Castiel looked down at the papers for a brief second, and to my surprise, he shook his head violently, thrashing his arms out, dropping the papers. I thought he was having a heart attack, but he stopped suddenly, sitting still, looking up at the ceiling, mumbling, "I don't know where you're going but do you got room for one more troubled soul? I don't know where-"

The door swung open and Metatron walked back in, a hot cup of coffee in his hand. He looked at me and made the quick remark of, "Oh, you're still here," before he noticed Castiel singing. "Oh, not again." He walked to his desk and placed his drink down before walking back to his brother. "You've gotta stop with the bloody flashbacks, Castiel. You've probably scared our lovely guest." I could hear the sarcasm in his words, but I ignored it, bending down to scoop up the papers. Castiel stopped singing and held an arm out in front of me.

"Can I keep it?"

I slowly rose, giving him a questioning look before handing him the papers. "Sure."

"Don't encourage him," Metatron said with a snarl before turning to walk to his desk again. I watched him shovel around a few papers before he looked back up at me. "What are you waiting for: an invite to leave?" I jumped slightly and turned to walk out. Metatron made me stop before I opened the door. "Come back in next week. I'll have the first copy printed." And with that, I left Heaven® HQ.


	4. The Other Side of the Fence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Making friends was hard. It had been so easy to make friends with drinks; why was it different with people?

It was a few days later that I found Dean, again, sat on the pavement by the Impala. I sat down next to him, despite the wet ground. It had been raining all day, only stopped an hour before, though the clouds were still heavy in the sky. He wasn't drinking this time, but he had a lighter in his hand, every few seconds flicking it on and watching it burn. I thought he might pull out a pack of cigarettes, but he didn't, which I'm glad of. He turned and glared at me as I sat down.

"What' ya want?"

"You okay?"

He chucked, flicking the lighter again. He watched the flame for a second before shutting it off and sighing. "Fucking adults controlling my life."

I laughed in agreement. "I know, right?"

He raised a eyebrow at me. "How old are ya; fifty-what?"

I laughed, shaking my head. "I'm twenty."

Dean blew out a whistle, leaning back. "Man, what happened?"

He meant it as a rhetorical question, but I answered anyway. "My ex hated my writing, so I guess I'm trying to prove something. I guess whiskey became my best friend."

Dean sighed. "I know what you mean."

"So, what about you? Who's trying to control you now?"

He flicked the lighter again. "Same old person." He jabbed a thumb behind him to his house. "You know what he said, he said that he'd give me the car for my wedding present." He nodded his head to the Impala.

"Ignore him. It's just a pile of junk," I said, trying to be helpful.

Dean glared at me. "It's a pile of junk I've been dying for my entire life."

My stomach churned with the guilt. Neither of us said anything for a few minutes, and I don't think we would have said anything either if it weren't for Adam walking out of the house. He sat on the bonnet of the car and smiled at me.

"Hey."

"Hey."

He turned to look at Dean. "Mum says dinner's almost done."

Dean looked up, shoving his lighter in his pocket. "Tell her I'm not hungry."

"What, so you can hang out with you boyfriend more?"

Forget what I said before; Adam is amazing.

I stood up. It was probably best I leave. "Well, I'll see you soon, Dean." I turned and looked at Adam, who was smirking at me. "Nice meeting you, Adam."

"Likewise."

I turned and walked away. Making friends was hard. It had been so easy to make friends with drinks; why was it different with people? I walked into my house, sparing a glance behind to see Dean looking at me, halfway up his drive. Adam had gone inside. Dean watched me for a second, and I swear I saw him smile at me, but then he turned and walked inside. I went inside myself.

I didn't really speak to Dean much of the rest of April. I meant to mention Castiel to him, but I thought at the time he wouldn't really care about a Novak. I saw Dean through the window, though, doing school projects and listening to whatever music it was that had his nodding his head while he tried to write. I was trying to write as well.

My book, Supernatural, was published by the end of April, and I didn't really get a fast response from it. It was a shit story, and I'm surprise Metatron actually got it published, but it doesn't matter; I'm a published author now. Take that, Anna!

May came around, and I found myself single again after missing another date with Becky because I was trying to write a sequel to Supernatural. Dean spent less time in his house, so I can't tell you much of what I saw, but Dean tells me he spent most of May with his friend Benny down at the skate park, trying to avoid the Novaks and John.

Dean had still not made up with John yet (the stubbornness runs in the family). Talking about family, I saw more of Sam and Adam than I did of Dean. Actually, for that month, I shifted my focus only Sam. I told myself it was merely character research for my stories, so I followed Sam to the warehouse. At the time, I didn't know that's where he hung out, so it came as a surprise to me when not only did he turn up here, but that he met up with Gabriel. I thought Sam would be like Dean, wanting to stay away from this rich-arse family, but apparently not.

I didn't stick around long- that would have been stalkerish- but I stayed long enough to watch Sam and Gabriel act like very close friends, something that made me smile. It was nice to see that a Winchester was happy, even if he was being forced to marry Lucifer.

Talking about Lucifer- speak of the Devil- I turned to walk back home when I saw him approaching the warehouse in my direction. I wanted to hide behind a bush or something, but he had already spotted me. I stood still, not sure what to do. He walked past me, not paying too much attention to me, just a small smirk and a chuckle under his breath as he walked into the warehouse.

Okay, this was strange. I didn't think Sam and Lucifer were on speaking terms...

I turned back to the warehouse, standing by the door, looking through the cracks in the metal panels to watch. Lucifer knew fully well I was there, and now that I look back on it, I wonder if he acted the way he did because he thought I was a nobody.

Sam and Gabriel went quiet when they noticed Gabriel's big brother approach them, and the air around us went stiff with tension, then sort of tension when you know a fight is about to happen.

Granted, this would be more interesting if I could of actually heard what they all said, but I was too far away. Sam went shy, Gabriel went defencive and Lucifer's body shook with a laugh. Sam grabbed Gabriel's arm, Gabriel went to throw a punch at Lucifer, and Lucifer reached out to pull Sam closer to him. It was a complex ballet grabbing and shoving, and in the end Sam had his arse playfully smacked by the older of the two Novaks, and Gabriel ended up flying backwards into a pile of wooden boxes.

I wanted to run in, into what started to look like a rape scene, but Gabriel jumped up, pulling Lucifer away from Sam and punching him in the cheek. Part of me thinks that this was probably the first time Gabriel has lashed out at his older brother, because Lucifer backed off, rubbing his cheek with the back of his hand. He made his way towards to door, close enough that I could hear him mumble, "-you wait 'til our wedding day, Winchester." He walked past me- didn't even notice me this time- and got into his car and drove off. I should have stuck around to help out Sam and Gabriel, but I felt that I wasn't involved, so I left shortly after the sound of screeching tyres and reeving engine faded into the background.

Sam still sneaked out to meet up with Gabriel; at least, that's where I think he went. I never followed him again. (I had told Kevin, another one of my housemates, about the whole ordeal, and he advised not to go again. If Anna could break my heart and my jaw, imagine what Lucifer could do...)

I spoke with Adam again about halfway through the month. It was May, so the sun was starting to shine the warm, summer glow it has in late spring, and Garth was wanting to use his garden BBQ he had stored in the shed all winter. It was early evening when I was interrupted from watching Charlie and Kevin playing football with a small, "Hey," from across the fence. I turned around in my garden chair to see a pair of grey eyes looking through the planks of wood.

"Oh, hey Adam."

He must have stood on something- a chair, a table... something- because his head popped over the top of the fence. "Hey neighbours."

My housemates chorused hellos to Adam before returning to their business. I smiled up at Adam. "You alright?"

"Yeah," he said, bringing his arms up so he could rest his chin on his folded hands. "Dad's at the garage, Mum's at the orphanage, Sam's out somewhere and Dean's with Benny, and I'm feeling cheeky. Can I have a burger, please?" He gave a small laugh before adding, "I can't be arsed cooking right now."

Garth, coincidentally serving up a burger at that very moment, walked over, handing it to Adam. "Plenty more where that came from."

Adam hopped down from the fence and walked around the side of the house and took a seat next to me. I never really thought much of Adam before, maybe because he's only fifteen, but he's a funny kid. He eats like he's never seen food before and his commendation of the Team Moondor vs Team Prophet football match was hilarious. It was kind of amusing, having a kid in the group of (so called) adults. Granted, we're only twenty, Garth twenty-one the following month, but it was fun having Adam around. Probably would have made a play date out of it if it weren't for Mary coming home and demanding that Adam come back since he was grounded for failing his English test. Shame, I like the kid.


	5. Operation: Marriage Hack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Chuck, I've had the perfect idea!"
> 
> I stared at him expectantly.
> 
> "I'm going to get married."

It was the first day of June when I whacked Dean over the back of the head and thrusted a ticket in his face. He glared at me, but took the ticket.

"We're gonna see the new X Men film. No arguing, Dean, you're coming with us." It sounded harsh, but Dean stood up from where he was sat on the pavement next to the Impala and gave us a smile.

It had been Charlie's idea to go the cinema. There was ten of us going (twelve now that Dean was coming, oh, and Adam, who caught up with us and bought a ticket at the cinema. Told you I love this kid; so cheeky...). Charlie had invited her friends Dorothy, Gwen and Jo (who is apparently a good friend of Dean's), Kevin had invited his dorky friend Harry (who ended up telling us the story of his club, The Ghostfacers) and Garth invited his girlfriend Bess. So, needless to say, it was a big manic getting into the cinema. I tried to stick by Dean as much as possible, in the end sitting next but one to him, Gwen in the middle of us.

The movie was good. I was wanting to make friends with some of the people there, since, you might of noticed, I don't have any. Dean (and Adam) was the only person I invited, simply because I wanted to be friends with him.

Dean and I didn't get to talk until we had all walked back home. All of my house-mate's friends had walked their separate ways, my house-mates had retreated back to their Xbox's and laptops and Adam had gone inside to do, well, whatever fifteen-year-old lads do. Dean sat down on the pavement again. I sat next to him.

"What' ya want?"

"You okay?"

Dean gave me a glare. "Are we gonna say this every time we sit down here?"

I gave a shrug. "I suppose so. I never get a good answer from you."

Dean looked off to the distant. It was almost night, the last of the sunset dripping behind the rooftop of the Novak house. I heard Dean sigh as he dropped his forehead against his tucked-up knees. "Chuck, why won't you leave me alone?"

"Because," I started, but I couldn't finish. 'Because I'm studying you for my book?' 'Because I'm a creepy stalker?' 'Because I need a friend?' 'Because you need a friend?' 'Because I don't like seeing you sad?'

We were both silent for a few minutes. It was peaceful, like any other summer's night. You could hear the crickets chirping in the bush in Dean's garden, the flap of wings as the fruit bats came out from their hiding spots and swooped around in the illuminated air above us, looking for insects to hunt. We both watched the bats for a few moments, forgetting momentarily that the other was sat right there, but our attentions were brought back down as a car drove past, knocking us back into reality with a loud rev and a gush of warm air.

"I don't get it," Dean said with a huff, frowning at the road, concentrating on it like it was about to part and a Thunderbirds' craft was about to float up from it.

"What don't you get?"

"Why everyone is controlling me." He picked up a small stone from the gutter and lobbed it across the road. It hit the side of our neighbour's car, too small to set the alarm off but big enough to leave a mark on the paintwork. He sighed again, tucking his knees up higher. "I use to be in control, you know. Use to give someone a look and they'd do whatever I wanted them to do."

I wanted to say something, but I kept quiet. He was opening up.

"It's just, this year has been..." He picked another stone up, but he didn't throw this one. He caught it repeatedly in his hand as he talked. "Sometimes I wish I could just go back to last year, when things were simpler.

"I hate God. How could he make this deal with Dad. Seriously! He's a spiteful son-of-a-bitch who needs to get off his high horse and take a look at the real world. He's ruining my life. He's ruining Sammy's life. He's ruining Michael's and Lucifer's lives- not that I care about them, because I don't. I just hate him.

"I hate my Dad, too."

I pulled a face. "You don't mean that..."

He thought about it for a second before nodding. "Yeah, I don't hate him. I just really despise him at the moment..."

"You're Dad was put on the spot, Dean. He was standing up for something he grew for himself."

Dean raised an eyebrow at me. "You know I don't get the whole writer's metaphor crap, right?"

I sighed. "You Dad made that business from scratch. The newspaper's say his father- your grandfather- disowned him for not following the family business. John did well, and he fought tooth and bone for that business."

"Why didn't he fight tooth and bone for his sons, though?"

I thought for a moment before replying. "You can always divorce Michael."

Dean scoffed. "I don't want to marry him in the first place. Imagine me wearing a wedding dress and holding flowers..."

I did think about it. I laughed. Dean glared at me and punched me in the shoulder, but then he smiled and chuckled as well. "Yeah, that would be silly."

He smiled fondly into thin air, and as I watched his face, I could see the cogs turning in his head. His eyes slowly started to squint, his nose slowly scrunching and his lips slowly falling into a thoughtful scowl.

"Fight fire with fire," he quietly mumbled, and for a second I thought he was going to jump up and run to his room to create some elaborate plan, so I was relieved and excited when he stayed. "Chuck, I've had the perfect idea!"

I stared at him expectantly.

"I'm going to get married."

It took a few seconds for me to realise what he had said.

"Sorry, what?"

Dean was practically beaming right then. "Get married!"

"To.... Michael?"

"No, you silly goose." He playfully patted me around the back of the head, the smile still plastered to his face. "Get married to some naïve or stupid girl who will marry me- better yet, a Novak! Yes, that'll really piss of God!" Dean stood up and walked onto the road in front of the parked Impala and started pacing backwards and forwards. "I'll get married to a naïve Novak, and then I don't have to marry Michael, because, by law, I can't be married to two people! Genius!"

Dean laughed, and for a second I thought he had turned evil, but the he looked at me and stopped. "Do you think it will work, Chuck?"

I stumbled for a second before replying, "Yeah, maybe... I mean, God's married to five-"

"Rich folk don't count..." Dean smirked again. "It's a brilliant idea! Now, the question is, which Novak?"

Dean sat down again as we both thought. Yeah, it seems a bit obvious now, but at the time I had partly forgotten my encounter with Castiel. I suggested a few of the few Novaks I knew ("Not Anna, definitely not Anna! That girl's nuclear bomb, I swear...") and it was only the next day after we had both parted to think about it that I opened my window, reaching across with a broom handle to tap on Dean's window to tell him, "Castiel Novak. He's perfect!"

"Who's Castiel?"

We both sat on the windowsills. "Castiel is the mentally ill one. Would probably believe anything you say, in all honesty. He actually wants to meet you."

"Meet me? When did you meet him?"

"When I went to publish my book."

"Oh, yeah, the one about Sam Wesson and Dean Smith?" Dean gave me a funny look, but I ignored it.

"Yeah, but he was in the publisher's room. He said he wanted to meet the person Dean Smith was based on."

"He read you book?"

"I think he likes reading. Maybe he's read Moondor."

Dean blushed at this; I don't think he's proud of being a Moondor fan.

"I can get him to meet you, if you want."

"You have his number?"

"No, but I have Balthazar's number. He's one of Castiel's brothers."

Dean nodded. "Okay, anything's better than nothing."

I began to find Balthazar's number in my contacts when I realised. "You don't seem to mind that Castiel's a dude."

Dean shrugged. Oh, that's something new about him. I can only imagine maybe he experimented with Benny, since I don't see much boy on boy action through the windows (seriously, what am I, a perv or something?)

"So, you and Castiel, eh?"

Dean smiled. "Is he nice, at least?"

"He was nice to me. Crazy, yes, but nice."

Dean looked down at his lap for a second before swinging his legs back over to climb back inside his room. He poked his head out again and gave me a smirk. "Operation Marriage Hack is a go!"


	6. Fall Into Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "This is too good to be true." Seriously, though. I still wonder how everything turned out to be this perfect. Everything seemed to be falling into place, and at the time I thought I was having this good luck because I was a good person, and Jesus thought I was awesome or something.

I spoke with Balthazar on the phone that evening. He was in his room, the seventh floor of the mansion, he told me, (and he also told me he could see my house from his balcony, which sounds a bit over the top, but considering the height of the mansion...) and he said that Castiel was probably in Virgil's room, since that day was Virgil's day to babysit Castiel.

"So, when's your day to look after him?"

Balthazar groaned into the phone. "Been a while. I suppose it's soon." I could hear him move paper around; probably looking through a calender or something. "And oh, there it is... Three days time."

I'm either lucky or am blessed.

"On Friday? Perfect! Just bring him to-"

"Polka Dot Diner on Main Street. Samandriel tells me Dean likes to go there. Eight o'clock."

I didn't say anything for a second but just nodded my head. "Er, yeah, eight o'clock. I'll get Dean to go there. But what about Rachel?"

Balthazar tutted. "Oh, forgot about his guard dog."

"Maybe you can find her a date as well, so she's distracted."

"What am I, a love matcher? Sorry, you've got the wrong guy. I think you're looking for Cupid. He's three floors up, if you wanna find him."

I sighed. Balthazar was a good friend but he couldn't half be annoying at times. "You're her sister, Balthazar, you should know how to distract her."

"Chuck, I have one-hundred and seventy-two brothers and sisters-" (God is a fucking rabbit, I swear...) "-and you expect me to know every single one of them? I only know, like, twenty of them. You're lucky the insane guy in question is one of the ones I know, and not for good reasons."

"What?"

"I was the one the police called when they found him a few years back. I was his ICE number, back when he was sane. Don't know why; maybe he just saw my face and thought I was as good on the inside as I am on the outside."

I could imagine Balthazar winking right then. I kept staring at my bedroom, imagining the blonde-haired man standing in front of me. He'd probably be holding a brandy in his hand while casually leaning against the wall. I only met him once before that phone call, and this was the first time I'd called him. We'd text most days before about this, that and the other, but this was the first time I took advantage of our friendship.

"Then take Rachel out to see a movie she wants to see. Take a few of your siblings; I don't care. Just find an excuse to get her away from Castiel as long as possible so Dean can date him so he can marry him and they can all live happily ever after, Jesus-fucking-damn-it."

Balthazar was silent for a moment. "Calm your tits, Shurley." Balthazar sighed, and he was probably pinching his nose. "Why do you even want to hook Dean and Cas up anyway? What's in it for you?"

I keep asking myself this question.

"I don't know. I just don't like seeing the guy so miserable."

"You just want friends, don't you," Balthazar scoffed. "You're so lonely, with your three house-mates who don't talk to you much and you only friend, the fabulous me. You want more people to join your friendship club, starting with the boy you've been obsessing over." The line was silent for a moment. "Do you have a crush on Dean?"

Reacting would only encourage Balthazar. "If I had even the smallest of crushes on Dean, do you think I would be trying to hook him up with Castiel?"

"Yeah, fair point." There was a distant knock on the other end of the phone, and Balthazar mumbled something along the lines of 'be right back' and there was a muffle as, I assume, Balthazar dropped his mobile onto his bed. There was a distant conversation between my friend and probably one of his siblings- the odds were ever in the favour of that- and soon the phone was being picked up again a cheery, "Good news," was shouted into my ear.

"What?"

"Well, I sent Naomi a text a few minutes ago-" (Oh, the wonder of technology, calling people and texting at the same time...) "-and she said that she and Rachel were going to go see the new X Men movie on Friday."

"Oh, I went to see that movie yesterday." (Yes, I know, I'm stupid...) "Oh, Friday? Brilliant!"

"Naomi said that Rachel was gonna take Cas, but I can tell her that I'll be okay looking after him by myself." He chuckled. "Make sure he doesn't wander off and meet strangers or anything."

I laughed. "This is too good to be true." Seriously, though. I still wonder how everything turned out to be this perfect. Everything seemed to be falling into place, and at the time I thought I was having this good luck because I was a good person, and Jesus thought I was awesome or something.

"Well, let's hope this luck lasts until Friday. Cas needs to fall in love with Dean, or whatever it is you want to come out of this."

I smiled at the wall, pretending it was my friend. "Thank you, Balthazar. You're seriously an awesome friend."

"Oh, I know, honey."

Dean wasn't in his room when I went to the window to tell him, so I found a piece of paper I hadn't written on and wrote in big, bold letters 'FRIDAY, 8PM, DINER. WEDDING HACK IS A GO!'

I spent that Wednesday talking out the plan with Dean and Balthazar. We were all in my room, Dean and Balthazar meeting for the first time (Dean found Balthazar really annoying, like I thought he would).

"So Stick-Up-Arse will be at viewing room at 1945. At 2000 Lover-Boy and Marbles will enter the birds nest and Frenchy and Dickens will stand guard."

Dean turned to me with a raised eyebrow. "What's with the code names?"

I shook my head. I didn't get Balthazar either; he seemed crazier than Castiel.

"In other words," the Novak spat out after taking a sip of brandy, "Rachel will be at the cinema at quarter-to-eight with about twenty other feather-brained siblings of mine. Dean and Cas will meet in the diner at eight, and Chuck and I will have a table in the far corner to watch."

After mumbling, "much better," Dean asked, "But how are you gonna hear us? I can't go solo with a nuts guy." I could see on his face he wanted to say 'no offence' to Balthazar, but I don't think Dean would care if he hurt Balthazar.

"I think Hester has a transmitter set, you know-" Balthazar waves his hands around his face, "-earpiece, microphone, secret spy shit."

"Why's she got that?"

"She's rich, obviously." Balthazar took a sip of his brandy. "Rich people can do whatever the fuck they want, Carver."

"Don't call me that."

"So you can get it for us?" Dean asked, grabbing himself another bottle of beer from the pack on the floor.

Balthazar shrugged. "Hester's a little..." It took us a moment, and through Balthazar's facial expressions and random gestures, we soon got it.

"Oh, so Dean will have to fuck Hester to get the earphone shit?" It was crude, I know, and Dean glared at me when I said it.

"Basically, yeah."

"Seriously?" Dean looked at Balthazar, then to me, then back at Balthazar. "Seriously?"

"I thought you were pan?"

"Bi, actually."

Why did I think otherwise? Probably because I was pan, but who gives a shit about me?

Balthazar gently punched Dean's shoulder. "You'll be fine, then! I've heard you have quite the way with the girls." He gave Dean a wink.

Dean rocked his head side to side, weighing up the options. "Can't you just buy one yourself, Balthazar?"

Balthazar laughed, leaning back against the headboard of my bed and took a sip of his drink. "Do you really think you're gonna get off that easily. If you want to avoid marrying Michael, you're doing it the hard way."

"Literally." I couldn't help myself.

Dean glared at me again before sighing and gulping down the rest of his beer. "It'll have to be tomorrow, won't it?"

Balthazar grinned. "You know what else, I think Chuck here is a lucky holy grail or something, because you know what, Hester said to Naomi that she's going to the club tomorrow to look for some. Bring in Dean-"

"Literally." Again. I was a little tipsy off the stronger stuff Balthazar had brought.

"-and we have ourselves one secret agent communication kit!" Balthazar raised his glass in a silent toast and knocked down the rest of his drink with a happy sigh. "And then once Dean and Cas are hitched, we can all get drunk and party!"

"Aren't we getting drunk right now?"

"What, you're not already drunk?"

"Balthazar is hammered."

"Shut up. You're jealous because I can-"

I don't think you need to know the rest of that night. When guys get drunk, shit goes down, and that's all you need to know. Balthazar woke up on the sofa, I woke up in bed and Dean was in his room in his house, and Operation: Wedding Hack was behind held off by a hangover.


	7. Fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean then looked up through his window to me. He gave a small wink, a cheeky smile, a little wave and he was down the stairs to answer the door.

I saw a white Range Rover Evoque park outside of Dean's house shortly after Balthazar had left, and I knew it was Hester before I saw the blonde hair. She pulled a sour face at the state the of commoner's house, fluffed her hair, pulled up the leather pants she was wearing, adjusted her breasts in her leather boob-tube, pulled her white duffel bag higher on her shoulder, quickly applied another layer of thick, red lipstick and then strutted to the front door. It was oddly amusing, watching from my writing desk under my bedroom window. I hadn't met Hester before, and part of me wished I did. Not because- God, not because she looked like a 'fun' night, but I wanted to know what personality she had. Simply for writing purposes; she seemed an 'interesting' character to write about.

I saw Dean's head lift from his laptop when Hester knocked loudly on the door. He bit his lip, patting his pocket (I assume to make sure he had a condom), glanced at his bedside table that was out of my view, though I knew there was a few bits and bobs that would probably make their time together more interesting. Dean then looked up through his window to me. He gave a small wink, a cheeky smile, a little wave and he was down the stairs to answer the door.

I watched Hester walk in the door, although it was less of a walk and more of a pounce on Dean and pin him to the wall while sucking his soul out through his neck sort of entrance, though I can't say for sure, since there was a thick house wall blocking my view. They must have spent about ten minutes downstairs, and I highly doubt that Dean was making Hester a cup of tea. They soon appeared into view again as they entered Dean's bedroom. I'm far past the point of worrying if I'm being perverted or not, but I did stand up and close my curtains when Dean, his shirt probably thrown into a dark corner downstairs, was pushed onto his bed, hands already cuffed behind his back and pants on the verge of falling down. With the last bit of curtain being pulled too, I saw Hester's 'Obedience Whip', as Dean later told us she referred to it as, being swung in the general direction of Dean's arse, and I asked myself 'is this really what Dean is doing to get out marrying Michael', but there again, wouldn't anyone?

I heard Hester's car drive off about two hours later, and I was wondering whether I should go around with a first aid kit, but then Mary was back from her shift, and Sam and Adam were walking through the front door when I opened my curtains again, so I assumed Dean would be alright. His mum would probably have a thing to say about him not going to college that day, but I think being grounded was probably worth it, by the look on Dean's face when he opened his window to speak to me.

"Chuck, this might possibly be the best plan we've ever come up with."

"It's the only plan we've ever come up with together." The smell of sex hit me through the two open windows, but I tried to ignore it, following Dean in swinging my feet over the side of the sill so we could talk. "So, have fun?"

"You think?" Dean pushed down on the sill, lifting his arse off to reposition it. "That girl, though..."

"Worth it?"

"Damn well worth it. Why can't I just marry Hester instead of Castiel?"

"Cause you'd get bored of her after a while." Dean opened his mouth to argue but then realised I was joking. "Did you get the earpiece thingy?"

He leaned into his room and picked up a white plastic bag, holding it up to show with with a grin full of pride on his face. "She took it all out of the box and took it apart. Gave me a piece every time I did something good."

"You were Hester's little bitch, weren't you?" Dean glared at me and I laughed. "You gonna be Castiel's bitch as well, Winchester?"

"Piss off."

If we were in the same room, he probably would have thrown a cushion or something at me, but we were not; we were both sat on the edge of windows, a twenty foot drop onto bikes and rubbish bins below us, with nothing but a good sense of balance keeping us up.

"You've got your date with Castiel tomorrow..."

Dean squinted his eyes, rubbing his hand through his hair. His hand caught on sticky hair and I cringed at the thought. He sighed. "I've never really been the type to go on dates." He looked down at his jeans. "I mean, what do I even wear?"

"What do you normally wear when you're trying to pick up girls?"

He jabbed a finger behind him. "Skinny jeans, and a tee."

"Wear them, then. Long as they look smart, you'll be fine. That's what I wear when I go on dates."

"Aren't you single, though?"

I glared at him. "Yeah, and so are you, so you need to impress Castiel tomorrow."

"How? I don't even know him."

"That's the whole point. Tomorrow is your day to find out things about him." I can't believe I said it. "Find out things so you can manipulate him. If he likes books, then take him to a book shop. (I think he likes books, actually...) If he likes ice cream and Marvel movies, then buy a big-ass tube of his favourite and shove The Avengers on the TV. Do things that will make him like you."

Dean looked down at the drop below him. "What if he doesn't like me?"

"Dean, you're a natural charmer. If he doesn't like you, then he must be insa-" Dean raised an eyebrow and looked at me. "Okay, we already know he's insane, but- you know what I mean."

Dean chuckled. "So, charm him, date him, marry him. Flawless, right?"

I nodded, ignoring his sarcasm. "And if anything goes wrong, you have me and Balthazar."

"Well that's reassuring."

Dean's door opened and Sam walked in. He opened his mouth to ask Dean something, but the closed it, pulling a disgusted face before turning around quickly and slamming the door. Dean and I both laughed. "If only he knew the greater good it was all for."

"I bet you took it up the arse for her."

"Piss off, Carver."

We both went back inside after that. I remember waking up early the next day and opening my window to find Dean stood at his. He was stood in his room, his arms leaning on the sill, a hot mug of what looked like hot chocolate sat next to him. There is a tree in his front garden, right by the fence that divides our houses. He was watching the morning birds on the branches, chirping and singing to each other. I don't think he noticed me at first until I spoke.

"Today's the big day."

He turned and gave me a blank look. "Oh, of all the things to greet me with, you pick that phrase. No 'oh good morning, kind neighbour. What a beautiful day?' or 'I do say, isn't today going to be an amazing day, old friend?' No, you say that instead."

I shrugged. "Someone had to say it."

"I know." He slumped back down again, his chin resting on the wooden sill. It was quiet for about ten minutes then, the only sounds being the birds who were still happily singing, the odd few early-morning drivers down our estate road and Dean every once in a while sipping his hot drink. He spoke after he had finished.

"How's everything Balthazar's end? Everything sorted?"

I nodded. "I think we have a lucky charm with us or something. Balthazar texted me last night to say that Rachel fell right into our trap. She's going the cinema and Castiel is going with Balthazar to the diner."

Dean nodded, standing up straight and picking up his empty mug. "Well then, I better go and get breakfast. I've got college today-"

"I forget that sometimes..."

"-So if we don't talk later, I'll see you at the diner." He took a step into his room. "Wish me luck."


	8. Burgers, Cola and a Side of Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel looked up when Dean stopped by his table. "Hey, you Castiel?"
> 
> Castiel nodded. Dean smiled, holding his hand out for Castiel to shake. The Novak stared at his hand for a moment before putting his menu down and slowly placing his hand within Dean's. "Nice to meet you."

I was the first to turn up at the diner. It was busy, typical Friday night in the only good place in town to eat out, and fortunately for us there wasn't a Novak in sight. You can always tell who a Novak is, even if you don't know them directly. They look wealthy, act rich and send off a vibe of stuck-up-ish attitude that just radiates from them like a bad odour. Even Balthazar is like this; he walks around in loose, grey top that shows half of his chest hair and always seems to get his hands of your most expensive alcohol drinks, holding his glass like an award.

Speaking of Balthazar, he was suppose to be here with Castiel already. On a note of that, where was Dean as well?

I walked over to the table in the corner, the one behind the fish tank with a direct view of the table in the other corner on the same wall which Balthazar had reserved for Dean and Castiel. I sat down as a waitress walked over to my table. She smiled a fake smile, her dark makeup boldly rimming her eyes, and said in a monotone voice, "Good evening, sir. What ya havin'?"

I smiled at her. "I'm actually waiting for someone." I glanced down at her bright red name badge. Janis. Why was that name familiar?

She rolled her eyes and shifted through the pile of menus under her arm. "Can I interest you in a drink, then, sir?"

I took the menu from her but didn't look through it. May as well take advantage of my new friendship with Balthazar. "Can I have a bottle of your finest, please. The person I'm waiting for loves his drinks."

"Well, long live the happy gay couple..."

I stammered. "We're not-"

I jumped when a body heavily plodded itself on the seat across from me. Balthazar smiled at me and gave a wink. "Bottle of your finest, madam." Typical... Janis rolled her eyes again and left.

"What took you so long?"

Balthazar turned around in his seat and pointed over to the reserved table. Castiel was sat there, alone, reading the menu. "Someone couldn't decide what to wear." He quickly stood up, pulling his chair around so he could sit next to me, a better angle to watch the date unfold. He ruffled through his bag he had brought and pulled out the transmitter for Hester's secret spy kit, or whatever it was called. He plugged in two earphones and handed one to me. We both plugged ourselves in, eyes locked on Castiel's table. "Looks like someone else is too busy looking in their wardrobe than at the clock."

I groaned. "He will be here. This is all for him, anyway."

I took another glance around the diner. Dean was nowhere to be seen, and I was starting to get worried. He was nervous that morning, but I didn't think he would bail. I thought about getting my phone out and calling him when suddenly there was a high pitched screech from the earphones, and I thank Jesus that Balthazar hadn't turned the volume up yet, and suddenly Dean's quiet voice could be heard. "Guys?"

Balthazar grabbed the microphone that was attached to the transmitter. "Dean, you okay? Where are you? Cas gets bored easily." He turned the volume up.

"I'm-" We could hear cars in the background. "I'm on my way now."

"Why're you late? You're not bailing, are you?"

"I just said, I'm on my way there."

Balthazar rolled his eyes. "Dean Winchester, I need to teach you a lesson on going on dates. You spent so long having one-night-stands that you don't even know date etiquette. Just-" Balthazar leaned closer to the microphone "-hurry the fuck up, Winchester."

Janis walked back to our table with a bottle of Bombay Sapphire, glaring at Balthazar. Like I said before, you can tell who a Novak is, and Janis was giving him the glare everyone does to a Novak. Balthazar gave her a thanking smile and a wink, and as he went to grab the bottle off her, his face changed like he realised something. "You see that young gentleman over there?" He pointed at Castiel. Janis nodded. "Are you serving him?"

"No, but do you want me to?" Janis eyed the transmitter on the table. She must have figured out what we were doing.

"If you don't mind, honey." Balthazar gave her another wink. The two stared at each other a second, and if I'm honest, I felt a bit uncomfortable, but then Janis slowly started to glare at Balthazar again, her hands coming to her hips.

"I think I dated one of your brothers once."

"Oh, really?" Balthazar smirked. "Which one?"

Janis opened her mouth to answer but then she stopped, her glare becoming confused, and then realisation. I saw Balthazar's face change as well until they were both looking down at their feet, and- oh, I get it... Balthazar was such a typical rich man.

Janis slowly shuffled off back to the kitchen. I didn't ask Balthazar about it.

Dean spoke again. "What was that?" Oh, I forgot he could hear everything we were saying.

"Er, nothing," I said. I glanced over to the door to see Dean, jeans and black T-shirt, walking through the door. He looked flustered and a bit out of breath. He looked around the diner and spotted us. He gave us a little nod. "Hi guys."

"Dean," Balthazar said, staring at him intensely from across the diner, "Cas is over on the table to your right. Dark hair, wearing a bloody trenchcoat." Dean raised his eyebrows. "No, it's not covered in blood. He just never takes it off."

"Why's that?"

"Dean, whatever you do, do not mention the trench-coat to him, okay?" Dean raised his hands up in defence, a few people around him giving him a weird look for talking to thin air, but then I saw Dean pull in a deep breath and make his way over to Castiel's table.

Castiel looked up when Dean stopped by his table. "Hey, you Castiel?"

Castiel nodded. Dean smiled, holding his hand out for Castiel to shake. The Novak stared at his hand for a moment before putting his menu down and slowly placing his hand within Dean's. "Nice to meet you."

"I'm Dean, by the way. Look, I'm sorry I'm late, I-"

Balthazar groaned. "Dean, stop the mumbling."

Dean quickly sat down in his seat, trying to get rid of the awkwardness. Castiel just stared at him for a moment, as if he was picking up and examining every little detail about him.

Dean coughed. "So, eh, Castiel..." I cringed at how bad Dean was struggling. I nudged Balthazar to help him out.

"Tell him about your brothers."

I thought it was a stupid conversation starter for a first date, but I wasn't going to complain. Maybe the Novak by my side knew what the Novak across from Dean wanted.

"So, you've got quite a big family, eh?" Dean gingerly laughed, running his fingers through his hair.

Castiel nodded. "Yes."

"Well, I've got two brothers, you know."

"What a small family."

Even I felt awkward then. I closed my eyes and leant back in my chair. Jesus, when this was all over, I will be happy.

Balthazar nudged me. "Shurley, stay awake."

Dean heard this. "Yeah, I've got two brothers called Sam and Adam. They're both younger than me."

Castiel hummed. "I swear I've head the names Sam and Dean before." Oh, that was a point. Castiel was a Novak. All but some of the Novak's want the deal-marriages to go through. We didn't know which side Castiel was on. If he was on the side which wanted Sam and Dean to marry Lucifer and Michael, then we were in serious trouble. Castiel brought his hand up to tap his chin. "Ah yes." Dean stiffened in his seat. "Dean Smith and Sam Wesson. That lovely man gave the a story about Dean and Sam."

Dean gave a nervous laugh. "Ah, yes. Chuck's a friend of mine."

Castiel raised an eyebrow. "Chuck? I thought his name was Carver."

Balthazar turned to glare at me. "You and your stupid name. Now look what you've done; Cas doesn't trust him." Dean stiffened again at this.

"Well Cas can go suck my arse," I replied. I looked over at Dean and his face read that he wanted to facepalm. Couldn't blame him really; Balthazar and I are the worse co-pilots ever.

"Only I can call him Cas," Balthazar said with a snarl, turning back to the date table and ignoring me. I ignored him too.

Janis walked up to Dean and Castiel's table, and this time she was smiling, unlike how she was serving me and her ex-boyfriend, Balthazar. "Hello, my name is Janis and I'll be your waitress tonight. Can if get you some drinks?"

"Cas will have a cola. Don't give him alcohol. You have cola as well, otherwise he'll think you're being unfair, and you're already off to a bad start with him. You were late and you confused him, so-"

Dean ignored the rest of what Balthazar was saying and spoke to Janis. "Can we please have two cokes?" He turned and smile at Castiel, who smiled back. Janis left to go get their drinks.

"How did you know I wanted cola?"

"Shit, Dean, he's onto us!"

"Shut up, Balthazar."

"No you shut up, Shurley."

Dean rolled his eyes, a motion Castiel noticed. "Sorry for asking."

"Oh, no, I-" Dean struggled to explain. Like I said before; Balthazar and I are the worst co-pilots.

"Ask him about reading."

"So, I hear you like to read."

Castiel smiled again, all looks of suspicion wiped from his face. "Yeah. I love to read Rowling and Tolkien and-"

"Do you read Moondoor?"

Castiel stopped what he was saying.

Balthazar facepalmed. "Damn it, Dean, don't interrupt-"

"Yes, I do, in fact."

"Oh, so do I. I love it! What kingdom are you from?"

"Moon."

"Me too! Have you LARPed yet?"

"Rachel was going to take me, but I got sick."

"Oh, man, what a bummer. They're awesome. I'm a handmaiden to the queen."

"You've met the queen?"

"She lives next door to me."

Charlie. Bringing two lovers together, and she doesn't even know it.

Dean and Castiel continued their nerdy conversation until Janis arrived with their drinks. She left again and the topic changed.

"Dean, you were talking about your brothers before."

"Yeah, Sammy and Prince Charming."

"What? I thought you said-"

"Sam and Adam. Everyone calls Sam 'Sammy' to annoy him and I call Adam 'Prince Charming' because his name's Adam, like Adam Ant, and he had an album called 'Prince Charming'."

Castiel gave Dean a blank look for a few seconds before smiling. "Give me a nickname."

Balthazar bashed his head on the table. "Oh, here we go."

"I don't know you enough to give you a nickname yet," Dean said, smiling as to not hurt Castiel's feelings. There was something strangely weird about this situation. Dean was trying his very best to manipulate Castiel, but from where I was standing it seemed more like he was trying to get Castiel to love him.

Janis returned to take their orders.

"Burgers and pie," Balthazar shouted into the microphone. "He's addicted to burgers and I think he has a fetish for pie. You might just get laid tonight, Winchester."

Dean ordered the burgers, saving the order of pie until after they'd finished. "So," he said, turning back to smile at his date, "tell me about your family."

"Risky, Winchester. Remember: Michael is his brother."

I nudged Balthazar. "Who's side are you on?"

"Hey, I just want my brother to get laid, okay? Cas is never gonna get dick if it's not from hot-shot mechanics, okay?"

Dean chuckled. He heard.

"Well," Castiel said, looking down at his lap, "I have a lot of brothers and sisters."

"Who do you spend the most time with?"

"Rachel. She's lovely to me. She looks after me and take me places that none of my other siblings let me go." He paused a second to breath. "I don't think many of them like me very much."

It was in this moment that I realise that Castiel had been twitching and jumping every few seconds the entire time he's been here. From a distant, it's not that noticeable in a crowded room, but when you look closely you can see the paranoid little boy I saw back in Metatron's office.

Castiel's hands were on the table. "Dean," I practically shouted into the microphone, "hold his hand. Comfort him."

"Nice touch," Balthazar comment, a small smile in the corner of his lips. I smiled smugly at him.

Dean brought his hand from under the table and slowly slid it on top of Castiel's hand. I saw Castiel's arm tense up at the contact, and Dean looked unsure.

"It's okay, Dean," Balthazar reassured him, "he's just a little anxious. Gets like that with new people. Make him trust you."

Dean smiled sweetly at Castiel. "Why on Earth would they not like you, Castiel? I see no reason. You're an amazing person."

"I'm a burden to the whole family. I'm the runt. I'm the mistake."

Dean curled his fingers around Castiel's palm, gently squeezing his hand with a smile. "You're not a mistake, Cas. You're perfect."

I saw Balthazar clench his fists as he muttered, "Don't call him Cas. He doesn't like it."

To our surprise, Castiel smiled back, turning his hand around to lase his fingers between Dean's. "Thank you, Dean. That means a lot to me."

Balthazar's jaw dropped. "He's never acted like this before? Seriously, he isn't acting like he normally does?" He turned to face me, his eyes wide. "I think Dean Winchester is a mental illness cure! Someone call the press!" I grabbed his arm and pulled him down. If Castiel turned a little bit to his left then he would see us. He thought Balthazar had left him in the diner for a blind date to go on a date himself with some girl on a romantic walk, so Castiel didn't know we were there.

I'm not sure whether someone paused time or not, but by the looks of things everything around Dean and Castiel was going in slow motion. Their hands were lased, their eyes locked, and I could feel Balthazar's smile radiating from next to me.

"I swear, if these two hook up tonight, I'm gonna kiss you," he said to me.

I punched him in the arm. "Piss off."

Janis came back with their burgers and placed them on the table. As soon as the plate was on the table, Castiel fished the sandwich from it's bed of salad and chips and brought it to his mouth, taking a huge chuck out of it. He moaned.

"God, if he gives blow jobs like he eats..." Balthazar commented, and I had a mental image I did not want to have.

"You sure like burgers, don't you?" Dean said with a chuckle.

Castiel nodded. "They make me very happy."

Janis walked over to my table again with a smirk. "Geez, those two are almost too gay to function."

Balthazar laughed. It was a little bit awkward for a moment, and I guessed my assumption of Janis and Balthazar being ex's was true.

"So, they'll want pie for pudding," Balthazar said as he turned around to fiddle with the transmitter. He was trying to avoid talking to her.

I smiled at Janis. "Thanks for helping."

"Pleasure." She walked off again to go serve some other tables.

Dean and Castiel didn't talk much while they ate, too much food in their mouths to do so, but when they were finishing they started again.

"So, what's with the trench-coat?"

Balthazar stood up, and for a second I thought we were busted. "WHAT DID I BLOODY SAY ABOUT THE FUCKING TRENCH-COAT, YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT!!!" I grabbed him and pulled his down, covering his mouth.

Castiel didn't seem to notice, the only thing out of the ordinary he saw was Dean jump suddenly at the loud screaming in his ear. Castiel's shoulder's slumped and his head dropped. "It belonged to my brother."

Dean was too guilt-ridden to respond.

"He died a few-"

Castiel suddenly shook, a violent motion like what happened back in Metatron's office. The shake stopped, Dean looking at his date in distress, and Castiel began to rock backwards and forwards, arms curled around himself, his eyes squeezed closed and his head tucked in. He was mumbling again. "I don't know where you're going, but do you got room for one more troubled soul? I don't know where I'm-"

"Are you singing Fall Out Boy?"

"-going but I don't think I'm coming home and I said I'll check in tomorrow-"

"Cas." Dean was knelt by Castiel's side now, one hand placed on his back and another on his knee. A lot of people around their table were staring at the scene. Balthazar was clenching the table, trying his best not to go over and help.

"I told him not to mention the fucking trench-coat. He's set off his flashbacks again. I'm gonna kill the little fucker." He lent closer to the microphone. "You hear me, Winchester; kill... you..."

"Cas," Dean said again, shaking his knee to try and get Castiel's attention. "Cas, snap out of it. It's okay." Dean let go of Castiel and stood up, sighing. "God, Castiel, you're messed up." He slumped back in his seat. Dean Winchester does not like working to get what he wants. "You're just a baby in a trench-coat."

Balthazar stood up, his fists curled tight in a ball. I grabbed him and pulled him down on top of me onto the floor. He was going to go over and punch the living shit out of Dean, and you know what, I probably would have joined him if it weren't for the fact that I still had hope for the two of them. I wrestled Balthazar until he was pinned underneath me, and the attention of the diner had gone from Castiel to me. I don't think Castiel and Dean noticed though. It was only when I heard Dean shout "Castiel" from the other side of the room, my earphones ripped out from the fight, that I got off my friend and poked my head over the table to see Castiel running through the front door onto the car park.

Dean ran after him. He dodged around the tables and all the staring people and burst through the door, his legs carrying him towards Castiel. Castiel was running, tears hitting the floor behind him as he ran, his eyes scrunched with pain. Just a baby in a trench-coat, that's all he was to the one person he thought for a second he could trust. Just a baby... In a bloody, pathetic, useless, memory-filled trench-coat.

There was a loud sound, and Castiel wasn't sure whether it was from around him or his imagination, his hallucinations dragging him off into a painless world, but then suddenly there was a pain in his chest and all the air was knocked out of him. He thought he was dead of a moment, the sound of screeching tyres filling his ears, but then he started breathing again. He opened his eyes, the black paintwork of the 4x4 mere centimetres away from his nose, the only thing keeping him up was the two arms wrapped around his chest.

Balthazar ran to the door and I followed.

Castiel turned around in Dean's arms, and I could see the utter shock that covered his face. I was sure he was going to pass out, faint into Dean's arms, but he didn't. Dean grabbed the back of his head, pulling him into his chest, the other arm wrapping itself around Castiel's waist. He held him tight, letting their souls seep into each other.

As Balthazar and I approached, we could hear Castiel crying, weeping into Dean's chest. His fingers were clenched into Dean's black T-shirt and his whole body was shaking violently with fear. Dean looked to us, shock also on his face, but the grief of the situation overpowered all other emotions. This was his fault, and we all knew it, but he was prepared to make it better.

I tapped Balthazar's arm. It was best we go before Castiel saw us. This could still work. I had to drag Balthazar away- he was still set up for killing Dean after he almost got his little brother hit by a car on the car park- and soon it was just me and Balthazar sat staring at my bedroom wall, wondering what the Hell we had gotten ourselves into.


	9. Keep Your Enemies Close

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Maybe I should go alone."
> 
> "Why? I thought you wanted to stay away from Mi-"
> 
> "Michael, exactly." Dean's eyes were glowing again just like they did when he had a plan. "God's given Sam and I a year to get to know Michael and Lucifer. Why not meet up with Michael."

When I sat down on the pavement outside of the Winchester household next, I was sat next to Sam. He was sat with his knees tucked up, his hands twirling an amulet between his fingers. I sat down and smiled at him. "Hey, Sam."

"Oh, hi," he said, surprised by the sudden intrusion. "You're-" he pulled a confused face "-Chuck, right?"

"Yeah." At least he remembered by nickname. "You look upset. What's up?"

He shrugged. "Life."

"Yeah, your brother's going through the same."

"Why? Are you this personal councillor he's been seeing?" I raised an eyebrow at him. "Dean's been acting happier lately."

"Well, we talk a lot." I didn't want to mention the plan with Castiel in case Sam was (for some strange reason) against it. "He's made a few more friends."

Sam smiled. "That's good. I suppose he'll be hanging out with you and his new friends then over Summer."

Yeah, the schools were breaking up for Summer at the end of that week. "Yeah, and I guess you'll be hanging out with Gabriel."

I didn't mean for it to come out, it just sort of happened. I had momentarily forgotten that I was probably the only person, apart from Lucifer, who knew about Sam and Gabriel's friendship. Sam stiffened, a look of shock on his face. "How do you know?"

"I-"

"Is it that obvious?" He groaned, bringing his forehead to his knees. "I didn't want anyone to find out." He whipped his head up. "Does Dean know?" He pulled at his hair. "Jesus, please say Dean doesn't know. He'll kill me."

"Know what?"

"That I'm dating Gabriel."

Oh. Oh, well, that puts a new twist on it all.

"You're dating Gabriel?"

"Yeah-- wait, what?"

I coughed. "I followed you to the warehouse one day. I say you with Gabriel laughing and then I left. I didn't know you two were dat-"

Sam reached forward and covered my mouth with his hand. His eyes squinted tight and he moved his other hand up to place his finger on his lips. "Not a word, Edlund, you hear me?" I nodded. "If Dean finds out, I swear to Jesus, I'll kill you."

I pulled away from his hand. "I don't think Dean would mind that-"

"Not a word, Chuck."

I nodded. "Okay."

The thing about me is that I do what I think is best. Don't trust me.

"Sam is dating Gabriel."

"I knew it!" Dean gave a laugh and a smile, smacking his knee. He wobbled a bit on the window sill but stayed up, still smiling. "Jesus, how does he get someone to love him without having to be manipulative?"

"Maybe cause he's a nice person?"

Dean glared at me. "What, and I'm not?"

"Well, you did almost get Castiel killed last week."

"Details, details."

I heard Balthazar knock something over in my room behind me. I shouted over my shoulder, "You're gonna pay for whatever you break."

"Don't worry, honey, I have the money."

"You better have a plan as well."

Balthazar appeared by my side, nudging my side for me to budge over. He climbed up and swung his legs over the other side of the window to sit next to me. He looked down and grabbed my arm. "Bloody Hell, this is high."

Dean laughed. "Have you got a plan?"

"A plan for what?"

"To get Castiel to like me. The first date didn't go too well."

I gave Dean a small smile. "I think it did a little bit. I mean, when you two were hugging."

"Piss off." Dean gave me a glare, but then smiled. He liked the hug. He liked Castiel.

"You have to be more understanding of his feelings," Balthazar said with a sigh. "Geez, it's like the only thing about relationships if the part is bed."

"Then why don't I just fuck him and convince him that way?"

"Winchester, if you've forgotten, my brother was raped a few years ago. Dick move."

I rolled my eyes. "You two just don't get along, do you."

Dean pouted. "I just wish things could be as easy as Sammy gets them."

"Well, Sammy is adora-"

"Only I can call him Sammy."

"And only I can call Cas 'Cas'."

I nudged Balthazar lightly (he was still clinging to my arm because of the height) and have Dean a quick glare. "Will you two stop. Forget bout Sam for a moment. He's got his happily ever after; it's Dean we need to focus on. Now-" I nodded at Dean "-I think you and Castiel should meet up again."

Balthazar leaned towards my ear. "He told me on the drive home that he never wanted to see that lunatic again." Dean rolled his eyes.

"Then make then meet by accident. Is there a shop that Castiel likes to go to?"

Balthazar nodded. "Not really a shop, but he and Rachel go to the library a lot."

"Brilliant. All Dean has to do is go down there when we know Castiel is there and they can talk and whatever and BAM! They fall in love."

"Rachel?"

"Ah." It was so frustrating how much of a guard dog Rachel was. It was hard enough to try and get her away so that Balthazar could get Castiel on that date with Dean, but after her reaction to Castiel telling her about the date and almost getting killed, we know she's not going to let Castiel out of her sight. Balthazar had been hiding in my house since the date just to avoid being within punching range of Rachel.

"Why don't I just go to your house," Dean said to Balthazar. At first it sounded stupid, but we all thought about it.

"What reason, though?"

"The three of us could go, say that you-" I nodded to Balthazar "-invited us for a sleepover or something."

"That could work."

"Nah," Dean said, shaking his head. "Maybe I should go alone."

"Why? I thought you wanted to stay away from Mi-"

"Michael, exactly." Dean's eyes were glowing again just like they did when he had a plan. "God's given Sam and I a year to get to know Michael and Lucifer. Why not meet up with Michael."

"Are you planning to kill him, Winchester?" Balthazar gave a laugh. "I honestly wouldn't mind it if you did." I slapped Balthazar's around the head.

"No, just, if I can get Michael to trust me, then he could be out mole."

"What?"

Dean sighed, running his hand through his hair. "Everyone says that Michael's a decent guy when you get to know him."

"Yeah."

"So if I say I want to hang out with him so we can get to know each other, then he'll start trusting me."

"Yeah."

"And then I'll be allowed around to the Novak's house practically whenever I want."

"Yeah."

"And if Michael trusts me-"

"Everyone else will."

"Which includes Rachel. And when Rachel starts to trust me, I can get closer to Castiel."

I raised an eyebrow. "You're seriously considering being Facebook friends with Michael so you can get out of marriage with him?"

"Yeah, as long as I don't change my status to 'In A Relationship' then I think we're fine."

Balthazar shrugged. "It's pretty risky."

"Yeah, but we need Rachel out of the way. Hey, maybe even Michael could give Rachel a reason to stay away from Castiel." Dean clicked his fingers. "Maybe if Michael and I become close enough, I could ask him if we can hang out with Castiel. I don't know, say I really feel for the guy and think that he needs some friends."

Balthazar nodded. "Not many people care about Castiel. Michael is one of the few who actually does."

I laughed. "Wow, how convenient."

My two friends turned and looked at me. "Yeah, everything is too convenient in all of this." The Novak pointed out.

Dean snorted. "Yeah, but Sam's got it better."

"Not really." Dean raised an eyebrow at me. "He's being harassed by Lucifer all the time."

I thought Dean would get concerned, but he didn't. "Hey, maybe I can get Michael to sort out the son of a bitch, right?"

Balthazar laughed. "This plan is better than the last plan."

"It's still part of the same plan, arsehole."

Granted, if it was as easy as Dean made it out to be, then yes, it would have been a good plan. I think I must have been the only one against the plan, but I didn't voice my concern. Dean seemed to know what he was doing, so I let him do it. This was Dean's and Balthazar's show now; I'll just sit back and watch, again...


	10. Wrapped Around My Fingers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Love, fear, rebellion, destiny, freedom: we all fight for something."

Somewhere along the lines, Dean went crazy. Maybe he caught it from Castiel. He took to writing, which as an author, I should be encouraging, but when it's a diary of his thoughts and feelings, it's then you start to worry. I would watch him every night as he would sit down at his desk and open the book and write. At the time I worried a lot, though I didn't mention it to him. But, now, where I am today, sat in my apartment, alone, I am glad I have his diary with me. It's on the desk in front of me right now as I write. It's a black, leather-covered book, thick with scribbled-on pages with bits of paper and photographs sticking out at odd angles. It's beautiful, really.

This is Dean's first entry;

_July 4th_

_For the record, this is not a diary. I just feel like I have to write down everything that's happened so that I can keep track on how the plan is going._

_In six months I will have to marry Michael Novak against my own will. So, to stop this from happening, I am going to convince Castiel Novak, a paranoid schizophrenic with post traumatic stress disorder, to marry me before I have to marry Michael._

_Castiel and I have already been on a date, thanks to the help from Chuck and Balthazar, my two friends who organised it, and my friend Benny for taking it upon himself to try an date Rachel, Castiel guard-bitch. (She's a guard dog, but she's also a bitch. I make terrible jokes, I know.)_

_Since the first date didn't go so well, since I somehow managed to offend Castiel and almost get him killed when he ran outside and almost got hit by a car on the car park, I will have to try a different approach to getting Castiel to like me._

_Michael Novak is the fearless leader of the Novaks, and it's basically monkey-see, monkey-do with those rich kids. If Michael trust me, then all the others will start to trust me, more specifically Rachel and Castiel. So, I need to get Michael to trust me._

_I'm thinking of going to the Novak house on Saturday so I can meet Michael. I haven't actually met him yet, though people say he's decent. I hope he is, since nice people are easier to manipulate, and I don't want to have to deal with an arsehole. I just want this plan to run smoothly, okay?_

_Hester has kindly agreed to let me keep the 'Tactical Communications Equipment' she lent me, after some convincing, and she said that if I needed anything else, she would be happy to help. I wouldn't mind doing business with her again ;)_

_I shall update as and when things happen._

_\- D_

Although I question how much this is more like a diary than a journal (you'll see later), it helps me a lot fill in the gaps, since, like I'm mentioned before, I am only an observer for a lot of this story. Granted, I'm more involved now that Dean and I are friends, but this diary knows more than what I knew at the time.

Saturday came around soon enough, and once again Balthazar and I were sat around the communication thingymebobby, only this time sat on Balthazar's fancy king-sized bed with a bowel of Pringles and Popcorn at our side.

"Guys?"

"Hey Dean. You here?"

"Just walking up the driveway now."

"Ah, well, see you in ten years." Balthazar gave a laugh at his own joke and then started eating the Pringles.

"So, where's Michael?"

"He'll be waiting down by the front door for you. Just, whatever you do, Dean, don't talk to anyone else unless they talk to you, but only if they say nice things. If they criticise you, ignore them. If they say good day to you, say it back. Otherwise, only talk to Michael. If he doesn't take you to the kitchen first, he'll probably take you to his room. Since he's the oldest, he's got the penthouse up on the top floor, so it'll probably look more like a living room than a bedroom, I would imagine. Can't say for sure; I've never gone further than the tenth floor."

"Okay."

"We'll listen to what you're talking about, so no deep, dark secrets, Winchester." Balthazar glanced sidewards at me. "Chuck probably knows your secrets anyway."

"No he doesn't," Dean said with a laugh, the sound crackling through the speakers.

"Oh really," Balthazar winked at me, "Chuck, what's Dean's favourite porn website?"

I smirked. "Busty Asian Beauties."

Dean gasped. "You perv." He gave another laugh. "I bet you get off to watching me get off, don't you?"

I blushed. "You do it on purpose, Winchester. You leave the curtains open."

Balthazar nudged me. "What did I say; Chuck, you have a big, fat, obsessive crush on Dean."

"No I don't."

"Why don't you just marry me then?" Dean said with a laugh.

"Piss off."

"Eyes on the prize, Winchester," Balthazar said while stuffing another Pringle into his mouth. "Castiel Novak's finger ringed in gold."

"Guys, gotta shut up now. I'm getting weird looks."

Dean must have been by the front door now. I could hear the mumble of talking in the background, and the sound changed as Dean walked inside, no more wind or cars polluting the stereo. A few seconds later a smooth, young man's voice chimed in. "Dean Winchester?"

"Oh, hey."

"It's lovely to finally meet you. I'm Michael."

"Nice to meet you, too." I could hear the strain in Dean's voice, like it pained him to say it, but he pulled through.

"Well, come in. Come in. Make yourself at home. You're always welcome here, Dean. Your brothers, too."

"Brothers? Adam as well?"

"Yes. I think he's actually came over a few times before. I think he's friends with Esther. I haven't met him, but I've heard he's a nice kid. Quite the talker, apparently."

"Yeah, he probably takes after me." Dean gave an awkward chuckle.

Michael gave a small, soft laugh in return. "Well, would you like a drink? I make an amazing cup of tea."

"Tea would be lovely, thanks." He gave a cough and the speakers scratched, which was probably because he folded his arms and knocked the microphone. We could still hear everything clearly. The quality of the system was amazing, probably some high-priced government military systems, or something. I could hear voices in the background talking, the mummers and odd mention of Dean's name. Gossip: that's what makes these Novak's function.

Dean and Michael walked into the kitchen, the sound of steam and pans being clonked around took up most of the stereo sound. "So, Dean," Michael said over the noise, "I have to ask you, why the sudden change of heart."

I don't know the story Dean gave Michael beforehand as to why he wanted to meet up with him, but despite what Michael had said, he didn't seem suspicious. In fact, he sounded hopeful.

"Well, I-" Dean paused a second, and I could hear a kettle boiling, "I just thought there's no point trying to fight it anymore. It's going to happen, so, you know, may as well get to know you before we have to put a ring on it, right?"

Michael gave another, small, soft laugh, followed by a sigh. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

They didn't say much, but they moved out of the kitchen, the soft clinks on teacups and saucers as- I assume- Michael carried a tray up the stairs, Dean by his side. "The elevator's just here," Michael said as they got to the first floor, "since I doubt you want to walk all the way to the twentieth floor."

"I'm just glad I'm not scared of heights," Dean tried to joke, a small, awkward laugh following his joke.

"When I first started living up there, I was terrified of heights," Michael confessed. It was quiet now, apart from the small beep that occurred every few minutes. They were on the elevator. Michael sighed. "I guess now I'm just use to the height. I'm on top of the building, on top of the company... I'm on top of the world." From Dean's microphone, I could hear Michael slowly breath in, another sigh being emitted from his lungs. "I'm just scared of what's going to happen when I fall."

"Who says you're going to fall?" Dean said. It was funny, Dean hating this man so much get seeming to be genuinely concerned for him. He wasn't; it was all just an act.

"Well, if this marriage doesn't go through, I'm probably going to be disowned."

"Well, aren't you glad I'm here, right?"

Michael gave a happy sound, and I could imagine he giving a small smile. "Yeah, I'm really happy."

The elevator doors opened, and Dean gave a gasp. "This is your room?"

"Yeah. It's not much, but it does well."

"Not much? It's fucking huge." Michael must have frowned at Dean. "Sorry."

"It's okay. Quite frankly, I'm not use to talking to people casually enough to be use to that sort of language. If you feel comfortable saying it, then I don't mind. Whatever you want, Dean."

"Oh, okay..."

Dean sat down, his clothes ruffling against the microphone tucked under his collar. I could imagine the two of them sat in a living room sort of room, fancy like the room as I was at that moment, two sofa's facing each other in the middle of the room with a glass coffee table sat between. Obviously, this is probably not what Michael's room looks like, but I guess I'll never know. Michael, by the sound of his voice through the stereo, must have been sat on the sofa opposite Dean.

"So, Dean, tell me about yourself."

"Well, what is there to say? I'm not that very interesting."

"Well, what's your hobbies?"

Dean hummed. "Well, I don't really do much. I hang out with my friend Benny."

"Is Benny nice?"

"Yeah, he's awesome. He go the skate park a lot. I can't skate, but Benny can. He's brilliant at it." For extra measure, Dean added, "I'll have to introduce you to him at some point."

"I would be delighted."

Michael talked so posh, not in a posh accent, but the language he used just made me roll my eyes. I turned to look at Balthazar and, not wanting to interrupt Dean, mouthed "Is he always like this?"

Balthazar nodded. "Mike's an arse."

I gave a smile and a silent laugh before turning to listen back on the conversation above our heads.

"What about you? Do anything interesting away from the company?"

Michael grunted thoughtfully. "Not really. I spend a lot of time worked, you know, paperwork and all. I hardly get any time to spend by myself. And if I do, I spend it relaxing in the bath."

"Huh, I bet you've got a really big bath with, like, lots of bubbles and soaps and stuff," Dean laughed.

"Well, yeah. It's through there." Michael must have pointed. Dean turned around and hummed.

"This room is amazing."

"Thanks. It's quite basic, compared to what my brothers and sisters have."

I looked around Balthazar room, covered in satin and silk, everything rimmed with gold and diamonds, and chuckled. Balthazar turned and gave me a glare, but then smile. He mouthed, "What, I like my style," but then sat up and reached across to his mahogany liquor cabinet and fished out the whiskey, pouring us both a glass before turning back to the conversation upstairs.

"So Dean, you work with your father down at the garage, don't you?"

"Yeah, well, I haven't been there for a while. I got angry with my dad when the deal was made, so I kind of quit my job. Adam helps him out now."

"Well, maybe you and your father can make up. I mean, he is your father; you should respect his decisions."

Dean's teeth grinded. "Yeah, I should." Dean sipped his tea, grunting under his breath. He was probably not use to drinking tea, or anything that doesn't contain some form of alcohol.

"Well, we should get to know each other more," Michael said, and Dean hummed with a smile. "Ask me anything."

"Well, what's your favourite colour?"

"Oh, now you've stepped over the line."

Dean was silent, obviously not getting it. Michael sighed with a laugh. "It's a quote, from Hunger Games."

"Oh, right... I don't really watch that."

"Well what do you watch?"

"Well, I love the old Clint Eastwood movies."

"Even the monkey one?"

"Especially the money one!"

Michael laughed. "I don't really watch that many films, but I had read the Hunger Games books, so I had to watch the films."

"You ever read Moondoor?"

"Not really. I've heard about it, though."

"Man, you've gotta. It's awesome."

"Isn't it the thing where everyone gets dressed up in silly costumes?"

"They're not silly costumes, you rich-ass freak," Dean paused, probably checking to see if he's offended Michael, but then continued, "but it's awesome, anyway..."

"Well, I'll have a look into it, if I find any time after work."

It was silent for a moment. I turned to look at Balthazar, who was busy reading the label on the whiskey bottle. I nudged him. He turned and glared at me, mouthing, "What? This is boring..." I rolled my eyes. Dean spoke again.

"Your dad makes you work hard, doesn't he?"

Michael sighed. "Yeah, well, I can't argue. I'm rich, famous, and everyone loves me, just because my father's rich and he's given me the best job in his business."

"Does he ever give you a break?"

"Sometimes. The business is big, so we don't really stop. There's always problems that need sorting, paperwork to be filled in... I just don't stop."

"Well, you're not working now."

"Well, yes, because I'm in the company of my fiance. My father let me have the day off so that we can 'bond', as he put it."

"Then why don't we hang out more?"

Balthazar lifted his head, more interested now. Dean's plan was taking place.

Michael thought about it for a second and then smiled. "Okay. You seem like a nice person; I would be honoured to 'hang out' with you, Dean."

"Cool! I mean, it would be good for you to have a break, you know. You seem to work so hard."

"I can't let the company down."

"The company or your father?"

Dean had this amazing way of manipulating people. He's been doing it his entire life, getting his brothers to give him £10 from their pocket money, convincing his mother to let him stay out with Benny after sunset, hypnotising girls into coming back to his place. And now here he was, twisting, turning, weaving the pity and the lies that was dragging Michael under his spell. And Michael was falling for it. Michael was walking into the trap that Dean had set right from the start, and here Balthazar and I were, silently cheering him on. _Bring down the prince._

"I think my father overestimates me."

Dean hummed. "Oh."

"Yeah. He thinks that I don't have a voice. That I don't have an opinion."

"And do you?"

Michael slammed his fists down on the table. "Oh course I have an opinion. Of course I have a voice. I scream, and I scream, and I scream, but dad doesn't hear me. I'm not his little boy any more. I'm his soldier. His warrior. I'm the reason he's rich and famous, cause I work my arse off for him, but no, nothing I ever do is good enough."

"Well, maybe you and your father can make up. I mean, he is your father; you should respect his decisions."

I froze, and I suddenly remembered Michael saying exactly that before. Balthazar swung an arm over my shoulder, mouthing, "This guy's a natural."

I swear I could hear Michael steaming through the earphones, hear the anger building up inside of him. Before he seemed so calm, but now everything was exploding. Everything was about to explode, and he couldn't do anything to stop it. Who did Dean Winchester think he was, walking into his house and tell him he should respect his father, the one that makes him work his arse off so he can add a few extra zeros to his bank account total. Who was Dean Winchester to say that to him?

"I--" Michael struggled to talk, the words taken from his mouth. He was frozen, sat staring at Dean. His anger, his confusion, his pain. And then it was gone. He looked at Dean, and he saw himself. Their fathers had made a deal for them. Their fathers were controlling their lives. Their fathers thought they were in control, but they were not.

"Dean, I want to fight."

"What? Fight who?"

"Fight for justice. For something. I--" Michael sighed. "I live in this room, alone, chains around my body and a knife to my neck. This is not fair. I want to do something about it."

Dean smiled at Michael. "Love, fear, rebellion, destiny, freedom: we all fight for something."

"That's it. I fight for happiness. I fight for my happiness. I fight for my brother's and sister's happiness. I fight for everyone to be happy and free to be happy."

"That's a good thing to fight for," Dean said, and I could tell that Dean was going to do it again; twirl Michael around his finger. "I fight for freedom. The freedom to be who I want to be, do what I want, love who I want."

Michael squealed a happy, sort of frustrated squeal. "Exactly. That's exactly what I mean."

They were silent, and I can imagine them sat there, staring at each other, slowly realising that the two of them were so alike. And it's true; Michael and Dean were alike in many ways. It gave me a warm feeling, hearing these two slowly connect over their similarities, but then it came crashing down when I remembered that this was all an act. This was just Dean trying to get Michael to trust him so that he could get close to Castiel. He was getting Michael to like him so that God thought his plan, his deal was working, all for Dean to make it crash down when he marries Castiel.

"I just want everyone to be happy."

Dean sighed in agreement. "You have a lot of siblings and not enough happiness."

"I know." Michael sighed, probably resting his forehead in his palms, his elbows resting on his knees. "I just want every single one of them to be happy."

"Like Castiel." Dean was a sneaky little bastard. "Is he happy?"

Michael went quiet for a moment before sighing. "Castiel is not happy. He's anything but happy. He's-"

"Broken?"

"Shattered."

Dean chuckled. "Shame. I bet he's a really nice guy."

"You should have seen him before it happened. He was so nice, so loving. I know I don't really spend time with my brothers and sisters, but Castiel was... different. Like I knew that something was going to happen to him. I guess I was right."

"It's tragic, isn't it."

"But, he's getting better now." Better? The way he was acting when in Metatron's office and in the diner said differently. "He doesn't have as many flashbacks, and he's sleeping more now. And his hallucinations are gone. He just likes the attention. Castiel is like that; he'll find your weakness and bring you to his feet, make you obey him. He's lovely, but sly." Michael looked at Dean. "Why did you mention him?"

"Well, everyone knows about him." I swear, someone needs to give Dean an award for being awesome at lying.

"Yeah, all that media crap. I think the media hurt him more than Uriel's death, really."

"I know, it's a sha-"

There was a ping in the background, and a voice chimed in, "Michael, Raphael called. You're needed."

"Thank you, Hester."

Balthazar flared his arms. "Bloody Hester's going to ruin the entire plan! We so could have gotten more information out of Michael. Jesus-fucking-damn-it!!!"

"Calm down, Balth."

"Are you okay, Dean?"

Oh Jesus, Balthazar's shout must have made Dean jump.

"Eh, yeah. Sorry, muscle spasm." Nice save.

"Oh, okay. Well, I'm sorry I have to leave, Dean. I'll-" Michael turned to Hester. "Just give me a few minutes, okay?"

"Alright lover boy." And part of me thinks that wasn't directed at Michael.

Michael turned back to Dean once the elevator pinged again. "Thank you for coming today, Dean. I--- I really enjoyed your company."

"Yeah, mate, you too. You're not as lame-ass as they say you are." It was quiet for a second. "Take that as a compliment."

"Oh, okay. Well, thanks Dean. You've really opened my eyes. Maybe you'd like to come around sometime?"

"Yeah, sounds awesome."

"Cool."

Balthazar and I were staring at the stereo like it was firework display, the whiskey spilling onto the floor after Balthazar's freak-out, Pringles getting soaked where they lay on the floor.

"You know, Michael, you're not that bad."

"Neither are you, Dean."

I could imagine one of them saying "if it weren't for our fathers arranging it, I would probably marry you" but neither of them said it.

"I'll show you out."

"Thanks."


	11. Let The Fire Breath Me Back To Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "All you do is write and be a perv for your next door neighbour- who, by the way, has everything under control, and hasn't needed your help for an entire month and has been successfully winning Michael trust by himself- and you just drink yourself to sleep. You deserve some fun, you sinful git."

"Just come on, Edlund. It'll be fun!"

"What is fun about getting high and having an orgy around a fire?" I picked up a pillow off my bed and threw it at Balthazar. "It'll summon the Devil; I tell you."

"No it won't, you spoilsports! I go there all the time!"

The Fire was a clearing in the local woods where, a good few years back, a group of teenagers had made a huge campfire and had set logs around for benches. Ever since it had become a hangout for youth, especially in the late Summer and early Autumn. A lot of the Novaks went there, the ones who loved alcohol more than reputation, like Balthazar, and quite frankly, it is just like I described it; a high orgy around a fire.

It was the start of August; the perfect time for The Fire to be ignited with the flame that radiated from teenager's souls, kindling into lazy make-out sessions and smoke circles to be hung around the clearing like fairy lights.

"Just go, Chuck." Balthazar tugged on my arm lightly. "Look, you spend so much time trying to hook Deano-next-door up with Schizo that you don't spend any time with me."

"Since when are we dating?"

"We're not, I-" Balthazar's face flushed red and he sat back, letting go of my arm. "Look, just relax a bit, Chuck. Just let loose. You've done nothing but write for the past month."

"Well my story's just getting interesting."

"Who cares if Dean Smith and Sam Wesson get to kill the Yellow Eyed Demon! Just hang out with me, please?"

I sighed. "One night. No more, you hear me, Balth?" Balthazar cheered, tugged on my arm again as he bounced on his knees on the edge of my bed. "I don't see why I have to. I'm on a roll."

"All you do is write and be a perv for your next door neighbour- who, by the way, has everything under control, and hasn't needed your help for an entire month and has been successfully winning Michael trust by himself- and you just drink yourself to sleep. You deserve some fun, you sinful git."

I rolled my eyes, leaning up on my knees and tucking the pillow I was holding further into my chest. It was silly how Balthazar and I both acted like teenage girls at a sleepover every time he was around at my house, and I'm half surprised that one of the others who lived here hadn't commented about his regular visits of the noise he makes- yes, Balthazar talks really loud and drunkenly all the time- but I guess my housemates are too laid back to even care. Charlie's always off playing real-life Dungeons and Dragons, Kevin is talking about nerd things with his friends and Garth is... who knows what the Hell Garth does...

"Just be ready by seven, okay? I'll walk you there."

"Oh, such a gentleman."

Balthazar reached forward and grabbed the cushion in my arms. I kept tight hold of it. We both laughed and he topped on top of my, fists clutching my shirt as he pinned me to my bed. He stopped rocking and stared down at me. "We're---"

"I know. We're too girly for our own good," I helped, pushing him backwards so that he flopped down on the bed next to me. We both stared up at the ceiling in silence. I won't say that there was something there- there never has been between Balthazar and I- but it was that kind of feeling you get before they announce the winner of a raffle: part of you is screaming that you've won, but the reality is that you never had a chance. Think what you want about me and my best friend, but there's nothing there.

Balthazar left after helping himself to Charlie's Chinese leftovers in my fridge and returned at seven, like he had said. He stood on my doorstep in his usual gear of skinny jeans, a loose grey shirt that was less of a shirt and more of a photo frame for his chest, and a black cardigan, which he refused to call a cardigan, but it was still a cardigan none-the-less. Over his shoulder he had a small backpack, and when it caught my eye when I stepped next to him on my drive, he smirked, flinging it forward and opening it to reveal- surprise, surprise- a bottle of his favourite expensive whiskey, a bottle of Jack (my favourite), and a bag of what I hoped what baby talc powder, but I knew it was something much worse and less innocent than talc.

"I got it from Hester," he commented when my eyes widened at the white powder, and why didn't it surprise me that he got it from Hester?

"What did you do for it?"

"Why, jealous?"

I scoffed. "Hardly. Hester's a lucky girl."

"And I'm a lucky man." He threw the bag onto his back again and flung an arm around my shoulder. "My favourite drink, my favourite magic fairy dust and my favourite friend, all together next to my favourite fire in the world."

"Lucky you," I said dryly.

When we got there, there wasn't that many people there. Usually these organised parties held about two-hundred people, but there was only about twenty when we arrived. Balthazar looped his finger into the sleeve of my two-sizes-too-big hoodie and pulled me over to a log-bench close to where two guys were trying to light the fire. We sat down, the backpack between us by our legs, and Balthazar smiled at me after glancing around. "I wanted a good seat."

"I can tell this is going to be loads of fun, isn't it?" I said sarcastically. I was hungry, tired, a little too sober for my liking, and the log we were sat on was still damp from the rain the night before, which was probably the reason why the fire was taking so long to be lit, much to the disappointment of my cold hands. It may have been August, but the nice weather had certainly given up on Summer.

"Oh, knock it off, Edlund. You wait 'til Jody gets here. She's the star of the show, she is."

"Jody? You mean the cop, Jody Mills?"

"Yeah," Balthazar pressed his lips to the back of his hand as he laughed, "what do you think she does with all the drugs she condemns?"

I closed my eyes and breathed out slowly. Bloody Hell, this town is messed up. Is everybody high or something? Don't answer; they all probably are.

Balthazar and I talked as we waited, and surely enough, the clearing began to fill up, slowly at first, but around nine o'clock a hoard of teenagers and young adults waving around bottles of vodka and passing each other bags of powder came flooding in. I was pressed up against Balthazar, shoulders digging into each other and legs squashed together as a rather large girl wearing geeky glasses wedged herself next to me and a small guy, probably only in his early teens, messed around with his much older girlfriend on the other side, pushing her into Balthazar's side. It was unpleasant, and my complaints from before still stood. Well, at least the fire was now burning. Had been for an hour or so before everyone rushed in.

It was crowded, much more than I was use to, living at my writing desk and all, and the smell of combined burning, chemicals and sugar from the drinks was certainly sickley. Balthazar didn't seemed phased; probably was use to it.

"You want a drink, Carver?" He pulled out the Jack and handed it to me with a slurred smile. He hadn't opened his whiskey yet, but he had been passed a few bottles from the people behind us who were trying to do the conga, or something of the sorts. It involved a lot of arms and legs behind flung around, knocking into my head one-too-many times, and I would have complained if it weren't for Balthazar cheering and clapping as he watched on. I opened the bottle and took a long swig. If you can't beat them, join them.

I lost track of time, as anyone would in the mists of being groped and trying different exotic flavours of this, that and the other, but I kept my mind enough to stay away from whatever magic sherbet they were trying to stuff into my brain. I lost Balthazar, which I should have expected would happen, and part of my wanted to make my way back, but I didn't really trust the streets. I'd have less chance being raped in this mass of drunks and potheads than I did on the streets of Earthworld. May I remind you of what happened to Castiel and Uriel: their rapists didn't even know of their wealth at the time.

At some point probably around midnight, I stumbled into someone, probably for the millionth time, and for the millionth time I drunkenly apologised and patted their shoulder. It was only as I was walking away that I realised who it was, and I turned on my heels far too fast, and after toppling to the floor and dragging myself back up by using some girls slutty dress as a rope, I ran after them and grabbed their shoulders. "Sam."

"Oh, hey! I thought it was you," he said with a smile. He didn't seem too drunk, maybe he had just arrived, I don't know, but his partner certainly was wasted.

"Wait, this another one of your nerd friend, Winchester?"

Sam gave me an apologetic smile before turned and grabbing the far from sober Novak by the shoulders. "Gabe, I thought we had gone past trying to label me. And no, this is my neighbour, Carver."

"Chuck."

"Chuck." Sam gave another apologetic look with a small smile.

"Chuck? Where have I heard that name before?" Gabriel placed his arms on Sam's shoulder and lent of them, granted, it was a weird position, due to Sam's giant-like height, but none of us seemed to care. He stumbled a bit on his feet until he got his balance, and after drunkenly smiling a toothy grin at me, he continued, "You're friends with that Bathsalt kid, aren't you."

I didn't know if Gabriel had gotten Balthazar's name wrong or if he was referring to the fact that Balthazar did drugs. "Balthazar."

"Yeah, him. He... er--" Gabriel glanced around the gathering and pointed over to the far corner. "He's over there, somewhere. He was fucking some blonde chick while getting eaten out by some dude with long hair."

Sam and I gave a disapproving face, but then Sam turned his head and whispered loud enough so I could hear, "Ash. And the girl was Jo."

I remember Jo from when I went to the cinema with Dean, Adam and all of my housemates and their friends. She was nice; now I was having second thoughts about her.

"So, what are you guys doing here?" I asked. This didn't really seem Sam's kind of place. I didn't know Gabriel well enough to know whether he was a frequent to this sort of thing, like his 'bathsalt' brother, but given how much these two spend away from society, Gabriel even so much as somewhat betraying his family by dating Sam, I was genuinely surprised by them showing their faces here.

"Well," Sam started, but the Gabriel waves his beer bottle in the air like a conductor's baton and smiled at me through lidded eyes.

"Samuel needs to get a life."

"That's what Balthazar said to me."

"He spends too much time worrying and less time-" he stared at the floor as he tried to reach for the words through the drunken webs of alcohol that clogged his brain "- not worrying."

Sam nudged Gabriel, knocking him off balance, and Gabriel fell to the floor as gracefully as I did moment before, falling into a girl wearing a white dress holding a bottle of red wine. You can probably see where this was going. Sam pulled Gabriel up quickly as the girl turned around, her face as bright red as the stain on her dress, and as quick as a flash, Sam and Gabriel had legged it through the crowd and away from trouble. I turned to follow them, their path clogging as quickly as it had parted for them to escape, and I give up trying to find them after an hour to searching.

Balthazar was smiling at thin air when I found him. His shirt and cardigan was no where to be seen (which I had thanks Jesus for, but it turns out he has plenty of them in his walk-in wardrobe back in his mansion) and he was stroking the neck of his bottle of whiskey like he was jacking it off. I sat down next to him on the floor under the tree he was by and tapped his shoulder.

"Earth to Balthazar." I waved a hand in front of his eyes.

"Chuck," he placed a hand on my shoulder, hiccupping as he tried to talk, "this place is awesome." His pupils were blown and his mouth glimmered in the light of the fire, showing the stickiness of where he had spilt his drinks while trying to drink them, or at least that's what I hoped it was.

I laughed fondly at him, a little more sober than before, and patted his shoulder again. "We should probably get home soon. I don't want to wake up Kevin; he has an exam tomorrow."

"Kevin should get the stick out of his arse and he should have partied with us!" Balthazar shouted, thrusting his bottle high in the air, splashing some on the ground in front of us. He brought it back down and stared at it long and hard, as if he was trying to shatter the glass with his mind.

"We should go," I tried again, standing up slowly and tugging on his shoulder. "Come on." Balthazar slowly stood up, his attitude resembling a toddler being told he has to go home after playing at a fun centre with his friends. His lower lip was sticking out in a pout, and his whole body went limp. He only stood up straight when I grabbed the bottle from it and went to throw it across into the bushes when a guy took it out of my hands and started drinking it. The Novak glared at me, but then gave up and slowly started to trudge along after me as I pulled him through the crowd in the direction of the path that led to the streets. We were passing the edge of the circle of people around the fire when a shout stopped us in our tracks.

"Hey Winchester. Glad you showed your face."

I knew the voice, and I let go of Balthazar's arm to scramble to look through the gaps between the people's heads. Sam was sat on a log next to Gabriel, who looked like he was just woken up, though he still looked half asleep. They were both looking up to where Lucifer was stood, his hands on his hips and a smug look on his face. If he was drunk, his posture didn't show it, and if he was high, he attitude wasn't any different to how he usually was.

Gabriel stood up to stand possessively in front of Sam, but stumbled at vertigo and fell onto Sam's lap, his arse landing hard onto Sam's crotch, facing his older brother. Lucifer sniggered as Sam squinced in pain.

"Budge it, midget," Lucifer laughed, reaching out to place a hand on Gabriel shoulder to push him off Sam's lap, but his hand never made it. Sam's long, strong fingers wrapped themselves around Lucifer's wrists, squeezing them as he stared death daggers into the Novak. Lucifer laughed again, though the pain from his wrist was evident in his voice, yet he didn't flinch at the grip on his arm. "You two are just adorable, saving each other like that." He pulled his hand away, turning his back to the two to rub his wrist. He turned back to watch as Gabriel stood up again to protect Sam, shortly followed by Sam standing up and placing his hands protectively on Gabriel's shoulders.

"You know what," Lucifer continued, smiling at them, "all I want to do is just have some fun with you. I mean," he slowly walked around them, gravitating them closer towards the fire with each step, "Sammy and I have to say our vows in five months. We should get to know each other."

"Oh piss off, Luce. No one cares about you," Gabriel shouted over his shoulder. Lucifer stood directly behind Sam, placing his chin on the Winchester's shoulder.

"No one? Oh come on, Gabe. Of course people care about me. That's why they're on my side."

As if on cue, three figures arose from the shadows, making their way through the watching, silent crowd and into the light of the fire. I recognised two of them, Azazel and Crowley, the two bouncers from the Angelz, the local strip club, but the girl I didn't know. Balthazar told me later that her name was Abaddon. The three of them snarled and sneered, their teeth bared and their eyes flashing bright against the fire light. Lucifer smiled as he walked back in front of his victims. "You were saying?"

"Wow, impressive," Gabriel said sarcastically, still slightly drunk, but he coward back when Lucifer placed his right foot forward and jolted his shoulders, as if he was going to lunge.

Lucifer laughed, bringing his hand up to click his fingers. His three followers closed in further, standing behind their master, eyes still glaring daggers at Sam and Gabriel. They were the other side of the fire than me, but their expressions were clear as they taunted the two helpless figures who had their backs to the roaring fire. I pushed forward, trying to get through the line of people, trying to help some way. I know that in the past I was a coward myself, not helping, just hoping, but it was now that I decided that it was enough. Sam and Gabriel were mouse-stepping into a sky-high fire; not the time to be hoping for the best.

The crowd parted for me after a few pushes and I stumbled forward into the space between the fire and the people. They stared at me for a second before turning their attention back to Lucifer. The three followers gave me little notice, but Lucifer stared at me for a second, his head cocked slightly to the side as if he was trying to place his finger on something, but then he got it, and then took no notice of it. "This your friend, Sam?"

Sam looked over his shoulder at me, and as if sensing something, he shook his head. "No, never seen him in my life."

"Well, he certainly knows you." I thought Lucifer would walk around to taunt me some more, but he kept his attention on Sam and Gabriel. "Never mind. Just come one, Sam." Lucifer's shoulders sagged and he pulled a face like a child. "Pay attention to me. Come play with me." Lucifer was just one big child.

"Luce," Gabriel spoke up again, "just piss off."

Feeling a little cornered myself, I walked over to the fire, to where, the commotion was happening. Feeling a sudden burst of bravery, I pushed past Crowley and grabbed Sam's arm, pulling him and Gabriel out of the heat of the fire and into the crowd. No one complained, not even Lucifer. He probably knew that there were plenty of other opportunities to taunt Sam elsewhere.

Balthazar caught up on the path back to the street, and he patted my back with a chuckle. "You brave, little sod."

"We had it under control," Gabriel said drunkenly, and then passed out into Sam's arms. Sam rolled his eyes and scooped the tiny-in-comparison Novak up in his arms and continued walking. It was late, and we were all tired and worn out, and the hangovers were starting to kick in.

Sam nudged me while we walked. "Thanks, Chuck."

I wanted to comment on his remembering my name, but I just lazily smiled back at him. "You don't deserve to be pushed around like that."

"I'm use to it."

Balthazar lent heavily on my shoulder as we walked. "Can't you carry me like that? I'm sleepy."

"No, you heavy, fat git. Piss off." I shoved him back, and he topped over into a bush. I would have laughed, or maybe have felt concerned, but I just kept walking, waiting for him to bounce back and catch up. He did, about half way down Main Street.

I turned and looked at Sam holding Gabriel. "Are you going to drop him off at his house?"

"No, I don't dare go down there. They'd probably chain me up in the basement along with a vicar, or something."

"Then are you going to take him to yours?"

Sam shook his head. "How do I explain this to Dad? He thinks I'm trying to work it out with Lucifer."

"Where are you going to go?"

Sam shrugged. "Probably the warehouse. There's an old mattress and a blanket in there that we sometimes use when we want to just get away. We'll be safe there."

"You sure?" Sam smiled at my concerned look.

"I'm sure."


	12. A Walk In The Park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Did Castiel say where he went when he wandered off?"
> 
> Michael shook his head. "I tried talking to him, but he won't. It's like he's suddenly scared of me, like he's worried that I'll yell at him, like he's done something wrong-"
> 
> Balthazar said, "He knows he's gotten in the way of Michael and Dean's marriage."

 

__

> _July 12th_
> 
> _I visited Michael against today, just like I said in my last entry. He showed me around the gardens of the Novak house, guiding me though the maze and stopping in the middle under the canape of rose vines to eat a picnic he had made. He took a rose from the bush and gave it to me a smiled sweetly._
> 
> _So, yeah, he's trying he best to win me over. Not gonna happen. Despite the fact that Balthazar and Chuck have somewhat abandoned me with no help what-so-ever, I have been left alone to try and manipulate Michael enough so that he trusts me and gets the other Novaks to trust me. So far, my plan has been working. A lot of the Novaks are being really nice to me, and are treating me like part of the family, which is good. I haven't seen Rachel, but I assume I'm still in her bad books._
> 
> _Benny had been helping me with the missions, and will continue to until Chuck gets off his lazy arse and starts helping again. Benny said that everything Michael and I said today was cringe-worthy and he said that he won't be able to focus on his date with Rachel later since all he can think about is the poetry I recited to try and win over Michael affection. I know; someone pass me a bucket._
> 
> _July 29th_
> 
> _Michael took me out to the fanciest restaurant in the county. I couldn't read the menu, but Michael could, so he ordered me the best damn burger I have ever tasted. If Michael cooked like that, I probably would marry him. But I'm not going to._
> 
> _He went back to his place afterwards, and I thought he might was to fuck me, but Michael's too much of a gentleman (and a wuss) to do that. I got to see Castiel again. He was sat in the lobby of the mansion with Rachel when Michael and I walked in, and now I know where I stand with Rachel. Rachel didn't say anything to me, but she glared daggers at me, so I think my plan might be failing a little bit. It doesn't matter now, since I managed to escape from talking to Michael much longer and made my way back home._
> 
> _August 7th_
> 
> _Chuck has finally started talking to me again. He said it was because he was writing, but I know it's because he and Balthazar were fucking, and were too busy to help me out through their romantic love making, or whatever those two drunks do._
> 
> _I'm meeting up with Michael again tomorrow. He has organised a day out with some of his brothers and sisters to a public gardens somewhere nearby, somewhere that probably has a £100 entrance fee, but he wanted me to come with him so that I can meet more of his family, and so we can talk more._
> 
> _It's funny: I'm not getting sick of him yet. I thought after an hour or being in the same room as him, I might get bored of him and want to punch him in the face, but I don't. Michael and I are quite alike, yet he acts like his sexuality and his wallet; a gay aristocrat. I still want to punch his dad in the nuts, but I think I might spare Michael on my revenge rage. Yeah, I might break his heart, but I don't think that matters too much._
> 
> _Chuck and Balthazar are going to listen in on mine and Michael's conversation while we're in the gardens. I don't know how they're going to carry around their transmitter box thingy, but I'm sure rich-arse Balthazar will find a way._

Balthazar did find a way. He shoved the transmitter into his backpack and plugged in wireless earphones.

"You're a genius," I said as I pushed the wireless earphones into my ears.

"I know."

We were sat at the back of the coach full of Novaks, and Michael and Dean were about half way down. I looked around, trying to find familiar faces. I wasn't surprised that Gabriel wasn't there, since he spent more time with his boyfriend than with his brothers. Hester was a few seats in front, and she gave Balthazar a smug grin when she turned around (Yeah, I did wonder where the wireless earphones came from; bloody incest). And of course, Rachel and Castiel were sat at the front, Rachel with her arm flung around Castiel's shoulders, her fingers raking slowly through his hair.

Michael and Dean were talking already.

"How big?"

"Ten foot. It was ginormous. Biggest fish I've ever caught."

"Wow, you must be an amazing fisher."

I saw Michael shrug. "Well, there's only so much you can catch in this area. It's out at sea where you get the big ones. It's-" Michael weaved his fingers through his hair as he sighed. "It's so... free out there, you know."

Dean nodded. "Yeah, so wide and free."

"It's like, some days I just want to run away, catch a boat and just sail wherever the wind takes me."

"Why don't you?"

Michael stared into Dean's eyes for a moment before turned to look around the coach. "Because I need to look after all these little cherubs." Michael stared off to the front of the coach and sighed. "Especially that one."

"Castiel?"

"Yeah. He's gotten worse, you know. Rachel's not keeping him out of her sigh. Apparently he wandered off while one of his brothers was looking after him. Almost got hit by a car."

I turned and looked a Balthazar who facepalmed with a groan. We didn't have the microphone this time, so we couldn't talk to Dean. Only listen.

Dean gasped. "That's tragic."

"I know. He was making such a good recovery as well."

"Did Castiel say where he went when he wandered off?"

Michael shook his head. "I tried talking to him, but he won't. It's like he's suddenly scared of me, like he's worried that I'll yell at him, like he's done something wrong-"

Balthazar said, "He knows he's gotten in the way of Michael and Dean's marriage."

"- but Rachel said that he only told her about the car. Nothing else. We thought we should wait it out. He'll come round eventually."

"Let's hope so," Dean said, looking over at Castiel as well. We all looked at him, and slowly the eyes burnt into the Novak's head, and Castiel turned around slowly, eyes locking with Dean's. The whole bus seemed to silence, and the seats blocking the view seemed to fade into nothingness. Castiel held his gaze, Dean staring back with equal focus and questioning look. It was like they were talking, but they weren't actually near each other. The noise grew back, and the people grew solid again, and Castiel looked again, turning back to listen to what Rachel had to say. Dean turned and looked out of the window.

We arrived at the gardens within the hour, and the coach flowed empty. Balthazar and I were the last off the bus, and we had lost Dean and Michael in the crowd. We could still hear them, though.

"Here."

"No, I'll pay."

"No, don't worry-"

"I'll pay."

"Dean, it's okay-"

Balthazar rolled his eyes. "Ahh, they're being cute and couple-y."

I elbowed Balthazar and continued towards the entrance. We got in and spotted Dean and Michael walking up the path into the forest. There was a lot of other Novaks around following different paths and stopping to admire some ancient plant, or something. Balthazar and I trailed Dean and Michael from afar. They didn't talk about anything interesting until they had found the ruins of an old castle, not another Novak around, except us two spies hiding in the bushes. They climbed up and sat down on the broken wall, admiring the view.

"It's beautiful."

"My family use to come here a lot on trips. It is one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen," Michael said as he gazed up to look through the gaps in the trees. The light trickled through the leaves and dripped down onto Michael's raised hand. He caught it, gentle bringing it down and handed it to Dean. It was all metaphorical, but Dean smiled at the Novak and took the light from his hands. Their hands stayed close, and from the angle we were watching from, I couldn't tell, but I think they were holding hands.

"I love this, you know," Michael said with a smile. Dean was smiling back, and it didn't look as forced as some of the smiles I had seen him wear. He looked genuinely happy sat there, gazing at Michael, holding light-drenched hands in the shadows of the castle, away from the entire world. "It's always so peaceful when it's just you and me."

Balthazar shoved his fingers in his mouth and pretended to vomit.

Dean looked down with a shy smile, and his forehead came to rest on Michael's shoulder. "It's just so perfect."

"Sometimes I hate my father for signing that deal. Sometimes I hate that he has control over my life like that, but there again, without him, I wouldn't have met you."

Balthazar wrapped his hands around his neck and pretended to strangle himself.

"I wish there was something we could do so it didn't look like we were doing this because of the deal," Dean said, bringing his head back up and look at Michael. His eyes were soft and his smile was sweet, and for a second I wanted to shout 'Mayday: Houston, we have a problem', but then I saw Dean's eyes glance in the direction of the bush we were hiding in, and he smirked to us.

Michael jumped onto his knees and grabbed Dean's hands. "Why don't we run away together?"

"Like, really run away?"

"Yeah. We can run away and get married, and then they'd all know that we don't suck up to my father. We are better than his pawns in his game of monopoly." Michael was practically jumping with excitement.

Balthazar leaned forward. "Oh, this has taken a new turn."

Dean cocked his head. "But where would we go?"

"I have a condo up in the Canadian mountains. We can go and live there. My father doesn't know about it. We'll be safe there."

"That sounds perfect, but--" I was waiting for Dean to say something to save him from this mess, and this is when he delivered the ultimate weapon "- what about our brothers?"

Michael's shoulders sank and he sat cross-legged on the Castle wall again, sulking. "Yeah, I can't leave my brothers. They need me. And you, you can't leave Sam and Adam. Especially not Adam. He's just a kid."

Dean rested his head against Michael's shoulder. He reached out and looped his fingers between Michael, giving his hand a squeeze before sighing. "We'll figure it out one day."

Balthazar grabbed my shoulder and pulled me to the ground. I thought at first it was because he had lost his balance, crouched behind the bush like that, and that he had grabbed onto me for sturdiness, but his hand covered my mouth as we hit the ground, and he pointed to where two figures were walking up the path. We were in plain sight of them, but there on the ground we had less chance of being spotted. It didn't look like we were. We sat back up once they had walked up to Dean and Michael.

"Castiel wanted to enjoy the gardens with you and your fiance."

I could see the colour drain from Dean's face as he stared at Castiel. We all assumed that Castiel had told Rachel about the date, but that Rachel hadn't told Michael because of the fiance situation, but what we saw here seemed to say otherwise. Rachel ignored Dean, as if he was a street rat and she were a peacock, and when she left, after taking Castiel by the shoulders and planting a kiss to both of his cheeks and his forehead, she didn't seem to indicate at all that her hatred for Dean was anything to do with Castiel, but more to do with his wealth status.

Michael patted the stone wall next to him. "Come sit, Castiel. We haven't spoke in a while."

Castiel moved around and jumped up onto the wall next to his older brother. He looked at Michael, well, what seemed at first to be looking at Michael, but I noticed that his gaze was looking just past Michael's head, meeting Dean's gaze behind Michael. They stared at each other while Michael gazed off into the trees, speaking more to himself than to the two who weren't listening.

"How are you feeling, Castiel? Are the tablets working? Are you taking them? Your physiologist said that you should be taking your tablets, or you won't get better. We don't want you to go back to Earthworld Mental Institution, do we, Castiel? They were lovely there, but we don't want you to leave us again, Castiel."

Castiel looked away from Dean and smiled as Michael turned to look at him. "No, Michael, I don't want to go back there again. They hurt me."

Michael gasped. "How did they hurt you, Castiel?"

"They shocked me. They made my head tingle with lightning."

Michael wrapped his arms around Castiel, muttering things about him being his baby and how he doesn't want him to hurt. Castiel rested his chin on Michael's shoulder, his face in full view of Dean. They stared again, and Castiel had his knowing look about him, one that screamed 'I can tell him. I can tell him about the date, and you'd be in lots of trouble'.

Michael pulled back, gripping Castiel's shoulders and placing a kiss on his forehead. "I'll protect you, baby. I won't let anything bad happen to you. No more mean men, no more shocks, no more cars going to hit you."

Castiel stared at Dean. "Okay, big brother. No more cars."

Dean coughed. Michael spun around, spilling apologies, but then gave Dean a smile. "Isn't he adorable?"

"Just." Dean tried to smile at Castiel, but his fake smile was back. Castiel smiled back, just as fake. I'm surprised Michael didn't fry from all the tension he was sat in the middle of.

Michael jumped off the wall. "So, why do we go for a walk?"

We followed them around the gardens, listening to Michael talk about the different flowers and plants they had there, all the while Castiel and Dean shared knowing looks and glances. When Michael reached out to take hold of Dean's hand, Castiel grabbed Michael's other hand, swinging it between them like a child.

Balthazar scoffed. "He's doing it for attention, you know."

We made it back to the main entrance, and Rachel walked over, grabbing Castiel by the hand and unattaching him from his brother. "Did you have fun, Castiel?"

Castiel nodded, bringing his thumb up to gentle bite, his long sleeve of his trench coat making him look like a baby, all the while staring into Dean's soul.

Michael smiled at Rachel. "We enjoyed ourselves a lot, didn't we, Dean?"

"Yes, it was a pleasure to finally meet Castiel. He's lovely," Dean smiled at Rachel. Rachel stared at him for a second, and her eyes glanced to Michael, and something in his face made her eyes lighten, and he face softened when she looked back to Dean. She looked at Castiel, still in one piece, and she smiled at Dean.

"Well, it's been a pleasure to meet you, Dean Winchester." She turned to walk away, Castiel following in tread, but then she stopped, looking over her shoulder to say with a smile, "You'll make a great husband for our big brother."

"Thank you, Rachel."

Rachel and Castiel started to walk, but then it was Castiel who stopped them. He turned around and ran back, leaping into Michael's space and wrapping his arms around his older brother. He squeezed him tight, nuzzling his face into Michael's shirt. "Love you, big brother," he whispered.

Michael laughed fondly. "Love you too, champ."

Castiel pulled away and took a step back, taking his time to stare at Dean again. His face went from straight to a big smile, his head cocked, and Dean's world came crashing down in a second. "Dean, do you like my trench coat?"


	13. Privacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean ignored us in his ear and continued talking to Castiel. "So, I wanted to apologise for what happened last time."
> 
> "What part? The part where you offended me and caused me to have another lasps, or the part where you almost got me killed?"

 

Balthazar didn't even knock, he just opened my front door, pushed past Garth, making him drop his gun which he was loading in the hallway, and ran up the stairs and bursted into my room.

"I need to tell Dean something!"

"What have I told you about knocking?" I said in a hurry, standing up as Balthazar pushed me out of the way of my writing desk to open the window above it. "And why couldn't you just knock next door; Dean doesn't live outside my window."

Balthazar waved a hand behind him to silence me as he swung his legs over and sat on the window sill. He reached back into my room to pick up the cue stick I had nicked from Garth's room and reached it across and tapped Dean's window. His curtains were closed, it being nine in the morning in the middle of Summer, but half a minute later they were pulled back, and Dean's groggy face appeared. He opened the windows slowly and glared at Balthazar. "What?"

"Well, I spoke to Cas this morning."

Dean raised an eyebrow. "And?"

"Well, he wants to see you again." Balthazar was bouncing on his butt, and for a second I thought he might topple out of the window. Part of me wanted to push him, but I resisted the urge and instead took a seat next to him.

Dean sat on his sill as well. "Yeah, he'll probably want to tag along with me and Michael on our next date, or something."

"Nope," Balthazar beamed, "no Michael. Just you and him. And he said no evil cars this time, Mr Winchester."

Dean's mouth gaped. "He--"

"Yeah, he wants to go on a date with you."

I turned and squinted at Balthazar. "Why, though? You said yourself; Castiel knows that he's getting in the way of Dean and Michael's marriage. Why would he go on a date with Dean?"

"Well, he didn't exactly say it was a date," Balthazar said, staring up at the sky. Great, the big buffoon was just over exaggerating. "He said he wanted to meet Dean again in private."

"Where?"

Balthazar shrugged. "I didn't stick around to get the details. All he said was that Rachel is on a date with a guy called Freddy, and--"

"Benny." Dean rubbed the back of his neck. "My friend, Benny, was trying to date Rachel to get her out of the picture."

"Benny, then. Perfect! He's free Tuesday evening. I'll get more details, but for now, you-" he pointed a finger at Dean "- need to learn how to date someone."

Dean looked offended. "I already do. And I learnt without you. I've been dating Michael, remember?"

Balthazar ignored this and awkwardly squeezed his legs past my body and back into my room. He called over his shoulder, "Tuesday evening, Winchester," and then he left.

Tuesday came around, and Balthazar hadn't gotten any more details since. It was just after midday that Balthazar texted Dean to say to just head over to the Novak's around seven and hope for the best. It was risky, since Michael might of seen Dean, or one of the other Novaks that seemed to hang around the lobby might inform Michael of Dean's presence. In the end we agreed to pretend that Dean was going to hang out with Balthazar and I in Balthazar's room, so if anyone asked, everything was completely platonic.

Dean and I walked to the Novak's together. Balthazar already had the transmitter set up in his room, and the microphone and earpiece were attached to Dean. Walking up the endless driveway, I thought I should tease Balthazar, just for being such a useless (yet awesome) friend.

"Balthazar's an idiot, isn't he?"

Dean turned his head to look at me, an eyebrow raised. His eyes flickered up, and I assumed Balthazar had said something though the earpiece. Dean looked at me again and smirked. "Yeah, I don't even know why he's part of this operation. He's practically useless."

"And he's not even as half good looking as he thinks he is."

"Oh Chuck," Dean nudged me, "you shouldn't say that about your boyfriend."

I chocked, and Dean burst out laughing, probably from the joint reaction of both myself and Balthazar.

"We are not boyfriends."

Dean shrugged. "Whatever..."

We entered the Novak house, and as ever, everyones eyes were on us. Naomi walked up to us with a smile. "You here to see your boyfriend, Winchester?"

Dean shook his head. "No, I'm hanging with my mates." He jabbed his thumb in my direction. Naomi glanced at me, and she must have made the connection between me and Balthazar, and she rolled her eyes.

"He'll be disappointed if you don't go up and say hi."

Dean smiled at her. "I will do." We both left Naomi and walked up the stairs to the elevator on the first floor. Funny layout, the elevator starting on the first floor, but who were we to judge God Novak's house layout design.

Balthazar met us on the ninth floor and immediately grabbed Dean by the sleeve and dragged him down the hall. "Nobody questioned you, did they?"

"Naomi did," I said.

Balthazar sighed. "I think she'll be alright. She doesn't get involved with Michael too much, just doesn't like commotion around the house. She probably told you to go and say hello to Michael."

"Yeah, she did."

Dean grunted as Balthazar pulled him to a stop. The room we were stood outside of looked the same as all the others on the corridor, except a darker light seemed to shine on it. Balthazar patted Dean's back and quickly replace the sleeve he was holding with my sleeve and dragged me away, mouthing 'good luck' over his shoulder. We got in the elevator to go up to Balthazar's room.

We rushed there and threw the headphones on. The conversation had already started, and we had missed the first bit.

"So, you're room's very..."

Balthazar groaned. "Dean, don't be awkward. He invited you there for a reason."

"White. Yes, I know. They painted it white because bright colours make me dizzy," Castiel replied to Dean. I couldn't tell what Castiel's room was like. I'd assume it was just like he had said, very white, with a simple bed and maybe a single dresser, with a big window shining light into the gloom of the colourless room. My imagination form of Castiel's room had no chairs, so I pictured Dean and Castiel sitting side by side on the edge of Castiel's bed.

"So, why did you want me to come over?" Dean asked with a smile in his voice.

Castiel shrugged. "I guess I just like you, Dean Winchester. You're very..." He thought about his words for a second. "Interesting."

"Well, thank you."

"That was not a compliment."

Balthazar pressed his forehead into his duvet where he was laying on his front. "That boy's a bloody idiot. It's no wonder no one likes him."

"Who? Castiel or Dean?"

"Both!"

Dean ignored us in his ear and continued talking to Castiel. "So, I wanted to apologise for what happened last time."

"What part? The part where you offended me and caused me to have another lasps, or the part where you almost got me killed?"

Despite how much Castiel was annoying me, he was still kind of impressive.

"Both parts. I'm really sorry that I offended you. I didn't mean to, I promise. I just--"

"Just what? Thought I was a baby in a trench coat?"

"No, I... I'm sorry about calling you that. I--"

"You never answered me the other day. Do you like my trench coat?"

Dean stopped stuttering and stared at Castiel. "Er..." He was waiting for us to tell him what to say. I nudged Balthazar.

"Tell him you think it's beautiful." I stared at Balthazar, and he shrugged his shoulders, mouthing 'what?' back at me.

"It's... It's beautiful, Cas."

The line was silent for a moment, but then I could hear some rustling of clothes. Dean swallowed, audibly swallowed, and he shuffled in his seat. "Here," Castiel said, "take it. You can have it."

"No, it's yours. I can't take it," Dean said awkwardly.

Castiel pushed the trench coat he was holding into Dean's chest, into the microphone. "Just take it, Dean. I want you to have it."

"But it looks beautiful on you, Cas. Why do you want me to have it?"

"Because I'm fed up of wearing it like a burden. Everyone sees me in it and they think I'm fucked up in the head."

Balthazar's eyes widened. "Jesus, did Cas just swear?"

Dean stuttered a second, and he stood up, handing Castiel his coat back. "Cas, you should still keep it. Just don't wear it."

"Where are you going?"

"I--"

"Don't leave, Dean. Remember the goal," I shouted into the microphone our end. Dean stopped stuttering and stopped moving.

"You're not a burdon, Cas. You're--"

"Special? Messed up? Go on, pick your name to call me."

"Cas, I'm not calling you--"

"Just shout at me, Dean!" Castiel's voice was loud and anger-filled. He was probably stood in front of Dean, his back arched and his eyes glaring at Dean through his eyelashes, the look of a madman. "Just scream at me! Tell me I'm a mistake! Tell me I'm useless! Tell me I'm worthless and I should just go off myself! Tell me to kill myself, Dean! Say it!"

Balthazar glared at the transmitter. "Bloody Hell! My fucking siblings are evil." I remember Metatron shouting at Castiel, telling him to kill himself. And the look Castiel had. He was use to it. Everyone said it to Castiel.

Castiel was laughing, shaking breaths between shouts. "Tell me to do it. Tell me to run a knife through my chest! Tell me to hang myself with my coat's belt! Tell me to draw pretty pictures on my wrists with a razor! Do it, Dean! Tell me to do---"

Castiel stopped screaming, and the microphone inside Dean's shirt got knocked by crumpled clothes. Castiel's heavy, jagged breaths echoed through the headphones, and we knew that Dean had pulled Castiel into a hug. I could imagine them both there, stood in the middle of Castiel's dull room, Dean holding Castiel to his heart, holding him together while Castiel clutched at Dean's shirt, fingers weaving between the fabric, digging in deeper, finger knocking over the microphone.

I panicked. Balthazar went pale. We could hear Castiel's finger tapping on the microphone, and our hearts stopped for a second. We held our breaths, but as quickly as it had come, it left. Dean and Castiel were still hugging, still holding onto each other, but Castiel was taking no notice of the microphone. Maybe he didn't see it. Maybe he just thought it was button, or something. It could have been a necklace, could have been that amulet Dean wears all of the time. It could have been anything other than a microphone.

Castiel didn't mention it.

"Cas," Dean said softly. His words were muffled, like his mouth and nose were pressed up in Castiel's hair. "You are not a mistake. You are perfect. Ignore everyone you calls you name; they're just jealous of how perfect you are."

Castiel sniffed, the sound of tears about to overflow evident. "You're just saying that out of pity."

Dean shook his head. "Cas, what reason do I have to take pity on you?"

Castiel sobbed. "Because I'm a messed up person who can't get over something that happened three years ago."

Dean held Castiel tighter, running his fingers through his hair, the other hand pushing his waist as close as he could into his body. "Cas, that doesn't matter. We're all messed up, really. Some people are just too self centred to realise that they are messed up."

"Like you?" Castiel sniffed again. "You're messed up, because you have to marry Michael, and you don't want to."

Dean gave a soft laugh. "What do you mean, I don't want to?"

Castiel shrugged. "You two seem happy together." They were silent for a minute, both holding onto one another, soaking in the pure clarity that each other brought to the other. Castiel spoke softly. "I wish I was that happy."


	14. We All Fall Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sound of sirens echoed through my open window.

The sound of sirens echoed through my open window, and usually I would ignore it, but I glanced over into Dean's room as they sounded to see Dean hugging Mary while simultaneously trying to get their jackets on. Something was up.

Dean texted me an hour later the ward and room numbers, and that evening I made my way up to the hospital room where Sam lay on a bed, wires poking into his arms, a bandage and neck support covering his head, a cast on his right arm and a wrist support on his left.

"What happened?"

Dean looked up from his seat next to his broken brother and gave a glare. "Lucifer. Did you know he's been bullying Sam?"

Sam gave me a look, so I shook my head. "No. Jesus, that bastard."

Mary gave me a glare at my language and wrapped an arm around Adam. Oh yeah, she still thought Adam was an innocent child. He's almost sixteen and I know for a fact that he and Dean drink beer in the back garden on Summer nights.

I took a seat next to Dean, the opposite side of Mary and Adam, and gave Sam a smile. "You alright?"

"Kinda. He broke my arm, fractured my other wrist and gave me a concussion." Sam winced as he tried to sit up. Mary reached over and placed her hand on his chest, shaking her head. Sam lay back down, rolling his eyes.

John was no where to be seen, which I was kind of thankful for, because that would have made things ten times more awkward. Mary and Adam went down to grab some drinks about half an hour later, which gave me, Sam and Dean time to talk.

"What happened then?" I asked.

Sam sat up, ignoring the pain, and gave a small smile. "Gabe and I were at the warehouse. Lucifer came along, again, and he tried to punch me, but Gabe jumped in the way and got hit, and it just-" Sam waved his arms in the air "-infuriated me, you know, so I ran forward and went to punch Lucifer, but he got to me first, and he just beat me up, you know."

"Why didn't Gabriel save you the second time round?" Dean asked.

"He was concussed on the floor. He couldn't help."

"Where is he now?" I asked.

Sam shrugged. "Probably at his house. He won't visit me, because he doesn't want to be caught with me."

I laughed. "You two have the most tragic Romeo and Juliet story ever."

Sam chuckled. "Yeah. I'm just lucky to have someone as amazing as Gabe." Sam turned and looked at Dean. "What about you? I've heard you've been sucking it up to Michael."

Dean sighed. "It's complicated, Sammy. You just-" he smiled at his brother fondly and then took his hand in his "-stay away from Lucifer, okay? Gabriel is a good kid; you two are perfect together."

"Thanks, Dean."

Sam wanted me to check up on Gabriel, since he thought I was the only one who would be able to talk to him without any of the Novaks asking any questions. I went to visit Balthazar, and he showed me to Gabriel's room. Gabriel opened the door and smiled. "Ah, it's Superman and Bathsalts."

"Hey Gabriel. Sam wanted me to check up on you."

Gabriel's face went from joking to serious. "Is he okay? God, I swear, I'll kill Lucifer if he hurts my baby again."

I chuckled. "He's fine, Gabriel. He's arms are the worst; one broken and one fractured, but I think he'll survive."

Gabriel glared, his anger for his older brother evident, but then he sighed, relaxing, and thanked me for telling him. "Tell Sam I'm fine," he added, and then after handing me a box of chocolates to deliver to Sam, he closed the door.

I gave the box of chocolates to Sam the next day, and funnily enough, no one else was there for that visiting hour. I thought maybe Dean would come, but he didn't. I found out why when I got back home.

Dean was already at the window, waiting for me. I hoped up and my smile faded when I saw his face. "What?"

"Adam's ran away."

"What?" I gasped.

Dean nodded. "He finally found out."

"What?" (Seems like the only word I could say at the time...)

Dean sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "Mary's not his mum. Dad had an affair and the bitch dropped Adam off on the doorstep."

"What?"

"Yeah, I know. I was only four at the time, and I still remember it. I never mentioned it to Adam because, well, you know, he would react like this."

"How did he find out?"

"He went snooping in the hospital files," Dean said. I raised an eyebrow at this, because aren't hospital files meant to be private and secure, but then Dean continued. "He found his birth certificate, by some miracle, and he saw the bitch's name instead of Mary's. He asked mum, and she told him the truth. Now Adam's off living with Bear Grills eating twigs and leaves, or something."

"Are you going to find him?"

Dean shrugged. "Mum's got the police out looking for him, and God has got a lot of his men searching for him, because, you know, don't want to upset the soon-to-never-to-be in-laws, does he." Dean laughed. "Jesus, I still can't believe we're gonna rub it all back in his face."

I wanted to tell Dean about Castiel possibly finding the microphone, but I didn't want to drop another bombshell on him. One of his brothers were in hospital, and the other was out in the forest. "Do you want to sleep over at mine tonight?" I asked.

Dean smiled and nodded. "Please."

Sam was let out of hospital a few days later, and since John and Mary were still out on an Adam search, Gabriel, Balthazar and myself all hung out in Dean's room with Dean and Sam. There was a lot more posters stuck up on the wall than what I could see from my room, and there was certainly more pizza boxes and dirty underwear out of view of the window.

We were all sat on Dean's bed, Sam sat against the headboard in the middle.

"Look at you, Mr Bump," Gabriel said with a laugh, feeding Sam chocolate after chocolate, since Sam couldn't move his hands by himself just yet. They were really sweet together, and it was a kind of sad reality that Sam had such an easy way out, being in love with Gabriel, while Dean had to be deceive and manipulative to try and trick someone into marrying him.

Balthazar, like always, was drinking his whiskey, smiling at the love birds. "You two are just adorable."

Dean laughed, nodding to me and Balthazar. "And so are you two."

"We're not--" we both started, but we never finished, stopping to glare at each other before bursting out laughing.

Gabriel raised his hand high in the air with a gleeful smile. "Let's play truth or dare!"

"How gay are we, exactly?" Balthazar asked, but he didn't argue against the idea, no one did, so we ended up in a circle on the bed, all with girly smiles on our faces.

"Sammy," Gabriel said as he patted his boyfriend's knee, "truth or dare?"

Sam thought for a moment before saying "Truth."

"Hum," Gabriel thought out loud. "What about me turns you on the most?"

Sam blushed, burying his face in his fractured hand. Dean laughed, playfully slapping his brother's knee. "I--" Sam said, trying not to look at anyone out of embarrassment. He soon calmed down and shyly smiled at his boyfriend. "Everything about you, I guess," he said, and Gabriel shook his head.

"No, pick one specific thing."

"I... Your voice?" Sam said, unsure whether that answer would please Gabriel. Gabriel lowered his gaze and smirked at Sam.

"Oh, you like it when I talk dirty?"

"Oh, save it for the bedroom, boys," Dean said, but then remembered. "Just, not my bedroom, okay?"

Gabriel leaned over and placed a sloppy kiss on Sam's cheek, moving round so he could nestle into his giant-sized boyfriend's side, his head tucked between Sam's shoulder and his chin. Dean cooed at them, and the game continued.

Sam smiled at Dean. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare, obviously."

Sam looked around the room until his eyes landed on Dean's phone which lay on his bedside table. "I dare you to call the fifth contact on your list and tell them you want to fuck them."

"Sammy, what would mother say if she heard you language?" Dean said with a laugh before leaning over and grabbing his phone. He tapped the screen a few times and then gave it a flick. He counted down his contact list, landing on the fifth one down and the colour drained from his face.

"Cas."

Balthazar and I stopped smiling, but the clueless Gabriel and Sam continued to beam. "Go on, Deano," Gabriel poked on.

"Can't he choose a different contact?" Balthazar asked, and Sam shook his head.

"Nope, has to be Cas, whoever he is."

"Why have you got Cas' number anyway, Dean?" Gabriel asked, moving around in Sam's arms so that he was lying down across his lap.

Dean shrugged his shoulders. "He's my friend."

"Are you dating him?"

Dean shrugged again. "I'm trying to."

"Michael won't be happy."

Balthazar winked at his brother. "Neither will Dad, so we have nothing to do with this, okay?" Balthazar then looked between Sam and Gabriel. "Ah, well, maybe you do have something to do with this."

A thought came to my head. "What are you two going to do? Are you going to get married before they can force Sam to marry Lucifer?"

Gabriel shook his head before Sam could answer for him. "Nah, we'll just run away together."

I could see Dean give a sigh of relief as he carefully put his phone back on the table, having everyone forgotten about the dare. He made a comment to keep people forgetting it. "You're actually going to run away?"

"Yeah," Gabriel said as he sat up. He was backwards straddling Sam's legs, moving around a lot, but Sam seemed use to it. He squinted when Gabriel used his arms for support as he moved, but he said nothing. "We're going to buy a house in Australia. And we're going to get a pet platypus."

Dean raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

Sam rolled his eyes. "Gabe wants a platypus."

"They're adorable!" Gabriel squealed like a teenage girl.

Dean smiled at his brother for a second before frowning. "What would Mum and Dad say, though. I mean, look how they're reacting to Adam running away."

Sam huffed. "Adam's probably at Samadriel's house. He'll be fine. Anyway, I'm a grown adult now. I can leave home to live with my boyfriend if I want."

"Sam, you're seventeen."

"Eighteen in a few months."

Dean rolled his eyes. It was funny. The plan we had been making all along was to get Dean and Castiel hitched, but where from there? God could always file for a divorce for them. God had the power of the local vicar; what if he had already spoken with him and told him not to wed Sam or Dean with anyone?

I asked, "Would you run away, Dean? With Cas?"

Dean thought about it, but Balthazar nudged me. "What have I told you, Carver. Only special people get to call him Cas. You're not one of them."

"Oh, I'm not special?"

Gabriel cooed. "Aww, look at you two, fighting like an old married couple."

Balthazar glared at his brother. "Oh piss off, Gabe."

Gabriel brought his hand up and flicked a lock of hair behind his ear. "Shut up. I'm fabulous."

Dean rolled his eyes again but then looked at me. "I don't know, Chuck," he said with a sigh. He looked down at his legs. "I really don't know."


	15. I Want To Teach You A Lesson In The Worst Kind Of Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Balthazar stood up, brushing the dust off his arse. He sighed as he looked at me. "Game over."

It was the end of September when events started to happen again. Adam was found at Samdriel's house, just like Sam had predicted, and he returned home, but his sourness towards his family didn't cease. He was on good terms with Sam, since he didn't know about Adam being his half brother, but Dean had told me that Adam hadn't spoke to him until they started going back to school.

Adam was now in his last year of high school, Sam in his last year of college. Dean had moved on to university, a local one, so he stayed in his parents house. He wanted to be close to me and Balthazar so that we could continue the plan, but also he wanted to protect Sam from Lucifer, who was still lurking around.

Dean studied a lot. Considering how he might have to run away by the end of the year, he sure did focus on his studies. He spend the whole of September studying, not listening to music, not writing in his journal, not talking to me. His friend Benny came around a lot, and the two of them would study together. They would talk- I wouldn't know what about- and by the look of their conversations, I would say that Benny is a very nice guy.

Like I said before, it was at the end of September that things started happening again. On the last day of September Dean opened his window and tapped on my window with a broom handle. I opened the window. "Have you been ignoring me?"

"No," Dean said, throwing his legs out of the window so he could sit down. I sat down as well. Dean smiled at me, a small, meaningless smile, just like he was glad to see me again. "It's been a while."

"Yeah. You been studying?"

He shrugged. "Yeah. It's interesting."

"Mechanics?"

Dean shook his head, and this surprised me. "Nah. Dad wanted me to take mechanics, but I was pissed off at him at the time, you know, marrying me off and all, so I opted for English Lit instead." I chuckled at this, and Dean raised and eyebrow with a smile. "Something amused you, Chuck?"

"Are you reading Romeo and Juliet?" I laughed, but Dean's face went serious.

"Yes."

"Oh." I smiled. "So, you're enjoying it?"

"Yeah. Just reminds me a lot of Sammy and Gabriel." Dean turned to look back in his room, in the direction of Sam's room.

"How is Sam," I asked. "I haven't seen him in a while."

Dean turned back and sighed. "He's better. Got both of his arms back, thank Jesus. He doesn't go out much. Just sits in his room and texts Gabriel."

"Star-crossed lovers."

"Tragic." Dean began to softly laugh. "What about you and Balthaz-"

"I'm not dating Balthaz-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know." Dean raised his hands in defence. "I haven't seen his car parked outside in a while."

I shrugged. "He's probably found someone more interesting to hang out with. Probably someone who can handle his loud ego and alcoholism."

Dean laughed and leaned against the window frame. "Well, we need him again."

"Why? What's up?"

"Operation: Marriage Hack is back in action. I've been working the fine details with Benny-"

"So you haven't been studying?"

"- and I've been texting Cas. I have a date with him tomorrow afternoon. A walk in the forest. I need you and Balthazar to trail me again and help me out." Dean had a gleam in his eye, a sparkle that made me smile. "This is it," he said triumphantly, and a small giggle erupted from his chest. "This is it."

That's what I told Balthazar on the phone. He picked up after I got voice mail three times, and he sounded pissed. When I told him, his tone changed.

"'Bout bloody time," he shouted, and I could hear him quickly move, like he had just jumped out of his seat. "You ignore me for a bloody month and then tell me that the climax of the plan is about to happen."

"Dean's been planning with Benny. I only found out this morning."

"Fuck you Carver." He sounded like a pissed off girlfriend. "Fuck you."

"So you'll help?"

Balthazar was quiet for a moment before he sighed and laughed. "Sure."

It was the first of October, and Balthazar and I were crouched behind a bush by the entrance of the forest, transmitted once again in Balthazar's backpack, wireless earphones in our ears. Dean was stood a few metres away, microphone and earphones at the ready for when Castiel arrived.

"What time did he say he'd be here?" Balthazar asked me. We didn't have our microphone, so again, Dean couldn't hear us. We were pretty useless- why Dean wanted us here, I don't know. We were of no use.

"He should be-" I spotted Rachel's car pull up, and Castiel got out. Rachel followed, giving Dean a warning glare before she placed a kiss on each of Castiel's cheeks, and then one of his forehead, and then got back into her car and drove off.

"Hello, Dean," Castiel greeted with a smile. Dean smiled back, standing closer to Castiel, now that he wouldn't get his head bitten off by his guard dog.

"Hey, Cas."

"Thank you for agreeing to come here with me." Castiel started to walk down the path, but suddenly stopped. He looked down, and his hand reached out towards Dean's, and they were holding hands. Dean smiled at Castiel, and Castiel smiled back.

"Jesus, they look cute together," Balthazar whispered to me. It was true. The two of them looked adorable together. The Autumn leaves were slowly fluttering from the trees, spiraling beautiful colours of red and orange around Dean and Castiel. They walked together, hand in hand, eyes locked, smiles on their faces. I was so absorbed in how perfect they looked together that I missed their conversation.

"-seven of them, all at once."

Dean laughed at whatever Castiel has said, a soft, peaceful laugh that warmed the chilly air. "My brother, Adam, is just the same. Never stops eating."

Balthazar tapped my shoulder and we stood up from behind the bush, tiptoeing to the next bush to follow them up the path.

A leaf landed in Castiel's hair, and Dean brought his arm up, carefully knocked the leaf away. Castiel giggled. "Thank you, Dean."

"You're cute." It seemed like Dean didn't mean to say it, like it was a thought that happened to make it's way past his lips, and he stopped walking for a second, but then Castiel tugged his arms, and they were walking again.

"Thanks, Dean. No one's ever been this nice to me before." Castiel breathed in the cold air slowly, holding it before letting it out in a puff of breath. The steam rose from his mouth in a cloud and circled above their heads. Dean held Castiel's hand tighter.

"You cold?"

Castiel shook his head, moving closer towards Dean. "I have you."

"What, I'm not that hot, am I?"

Castiel giggled again, leaning his head against Dean's shoulder. Their walking slowed down to accommodate their new position. They were silent as they walked, and I could hear the sound of their gentle breathing through the earphones. They were so in sync, and when I listened closer, I could hear Dean's heart. I'm sure Castiel's was beating the same rhythm.

They were half way through the forest when Castiel took his head off Dean's shoulder and smiled at him. "Do you know what I like most about you, Dean Winchester?"

"What's that?"

Castiel smiled at Dean silently for a second before stopping everything suddenly. Dean stepped forward, and their hands broke apart, falling to their sides. "I like you ignorance."

Dean looked stunned for a moment, and I think Balthazar and I were the same, but then Dean laughed softly and shook his head. "What do you mean, Cas?"

"Don't call me Cas," Castiel snapped, and Dean pulled a confused face. "I wanted to speak with you alone for a reason." Dean opened his mouth to say something, but Castiel raised his arm and glared at him. "No, Dean, don't say it. We're not alone, are we?"

Castiel spun on his heals and his eyes bared flames straight into my soul. I stood still like a rabbit in headlights. Balthazar ducked and ran into the bush, but it was too late. Castiel's stare slowly became a smile, a large, sadistic smile, and he chuckled. "We were never alone, were we, Dean?"

Dean was pale, on the verge of fainting or throwing up. I thought he might run away, but he stayed still for a moment before walking over and placing a hand gently on Castiel's shoulder. Castiel flinched, jumped away from Dean. "Don't touch me."

"Cas, I'm--"

"If you apologise, I swear to Jesus, I'm fucking rip your lungs out."

They stared silently at each other. Out of Castiel's gaze, I moved again. I walked over to where Balthazar was crouching behind the bush. I grabbed him by the ear and yanked him up. "Ow!"

"Shut up, Balth. It's over." I took the earphones out of my ears and dropped them on the floor.

Dean sighed, unclipping the microphone from his shirt. "What gave it away?"

Castiel huffed, a sort of snigger and a shout of anger. "It was obvious, Dean."

Balthazar walked towards his brother. "But you're fruit loops. We didn't think you'd--"

Castiel turned around and shoved Balthazar's shoulders. The older Novak fell to the floor, landing on his arse. "Shut up, Balthazar. Just shut up. You're just like all the others. I'm a crazy bag of fruit loops; that's all I am to you. Ever thought that I might be better, than I might have healed?" Castiel scoffed, running his fingers through his hair. He was acting more like Dean than the innocent, insane man from before. He glared at his brother. "I am not insane."

"But--"

Castiel turned his attention to me, and I thought for a second that his eyes had dug knives in my heart. "You sneaky son of a bitch."

I wanted to apologise, but didn't. I looked away from him, his gaze killing me. "This was a stupid idea."

"No," Castiel said to my surprise. "No, this was the perfect idea. Genius, in fact! I guess that's why I figured it out so quickly; because I would have done exactly the same." He turned and glared at Dean again. "Just never thought it would be this angel's wings you would be trying to clip. Get me drunk on rose water? Make me choke on my halo, see how dirty you can get me pulling out my teeth. Well, Dean Winchester." He stepped forward, prodding Dean right in the centre of his chest. "I know I'm bad news." He leaned closer. "And I've saved it all for you."

Castiel turned on his heals and left. Dean stared at me in shock. Balthazar stood up, brushing the dust off his arse. He sighed as he looked at me. "Game over."


	16. Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The robin didn't have faith in the branch," I told him, "it had faith in it's wings."

It was kind of sad, really, talking to Dean about Michael rather than Castiel. Again, like always, we were sat on the window sills.

"I should just marry Michael."

"Dean, you shouldn't give up like this."

"Why not? We have four months to get me hitched. Castiel's probably gone and told Michael already. We're out of options."

"Dean, you could marry any son or daughter of a bitch you wanted. It doesn't has to be Castiel."

"But I want Ca-" Dean stopped then, staring at me with his mouth agape, but he quickly shut it, turning to stare at the tree at the front of his house. There was a single bird sat on the closest branch: a small, red-bellied robin. He looked at Dean and cocked it's head, as if sensing his helplessness, and hopped along the branch until it was at the end. It stared a few seconds before letting out a quick song, a few notes strung together in a catchy tune, and then it flew off.

Dean closed his eyes and hummed the tune. When he finished, he did it again, and then for a third, a fourth, a fifth time until he could remember it. His hums slowly became words, small murmurs that became understandable after the seventh time of him singing it.

"I don't know where you're going, but do you got room for one more troubled soul?"

"You make that up?" I asked him.

He shook his head. "Cas sings it when he has an episode." Dean sighed. "Or, at least, when he was pretending to have episodes."

"Funny how the robin knew to sing that."

"Funny how it's not scared of the branch it's sat on."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, that bird was sitting on that branch, not caring that the wind was blowing it. What if it snapped. What if the branch betrayed him and made him fall to the ground?"

I stared at Dean in disbelief, but then sighed. "The robin didn't have faith in the branch," I told him, "it had faith in it's wings."

Dean held my gaze for a few minutes before letting out the breath he had been holding and closed his eyes. "This is a metaphor for my life, right?"

"What?"

"The branch is my family. My wings is my plan. I never had faith in my family, though I still was dependant on them. I was just hoping that my plan would be the only thing I would need to put my faith in."

I was confused. "I don't understand."

"Fuck my wings," Dean said, waving his arms in the air. He wobbled, and I saw him lean back to fall into his room, but he caught his balance and sat upright. "Like Cas said, I was just trying to clip his wings. And you know what, he clipped mine, too. He broke my wings into a million little pieces. I should never have trusted my wings--"

"Dean, the metaphor was not--"

"- Chuck, I'm just going to do as my family says--"

"Dean, you shouldn't give up--"

"- I'm going to marry Michael and get it over and done with." Dean looked down. "Or I'm going to kill myself."

"Dean!" I said sternly. He glared at me.

"What, Carver?"

I didn't reply. I was pissed, but with him talking suicide, I didn't want to offend him. "Dean, we'll figure something out."

"We?" Dean scoffed. "Chuck, you're my next door neighbour. You mean nothing to me. You have nothing to do with my family, or the Novaks. You're just a nobody who had nothing to do with this story."

The sad truth is, he was right. I do have nothing to do with what happened. Nothing was in my control, I had no input, and everything would have worked out the same without me. I just happened to have been there, and I just happened to be the one who's writing it down now. Maybe I'm writing it to make money out of it- I am a published author, after all- or maybe I'm writing it to fill in the gaps that everyone in Earthworld is missing. I am the only one left to tell them, and somethings they need to know. Or maybe I'm just writing it because I'm bored. Yes, because I'm sick and tired of sitting in my house and drinking all day. Balthazar says I'm fucked up in the head, that I should go outside and enjoy the Australian beach we now live on, but I won't. I can't. I know we moved here to get away from it all, but I just can't live a normal life without writing it all down. It's an obsession. An impulse. A compulse. I need to write this down. I need to tell you.

Because no one else will.

Dean didn't speak to me for a while after that conversation. He spent a lot of time studying again, spending time with his family, spending time with Michael. His journal tells of his many visits and dates with Michael. I'm surprised he continued to write in his journal, but, like I said before, I'm glad he did.

Remember I said that the journal is more of a diary?

Extracts:

September 17th

Michael walked me around the garden again, despite the rain. I saw Castiel sat with Rachel, and he ignored me when he saw me. Michael told me-----

September 29th

Michael and I spend the entire day curled up on his bed, watching movies, eating popcorn and laughing at how bad the acting was in the old action movies. Michael's favourite film is about an insane guy finding true love and having his heart broken. Michael can certainly tell funny-----

October 11th

Michael and I had sex for the first time. I want to say it was beautiful, and I would be telling the truth, but it would be purely out of Michael's point of view. It hurt, but I'm not going to tell him. I can deal with the pain, because nothing hurts more than-----

There's a lot of scribbled out lines and little doodles in corners, but I get the message. Dean is missing Castiel. A lot. He's trying his best to make it work with Michael, because Michael's a sweet guy who is a lot like Dean in many ways, but one thing that separates them is that Dean is a dirty, lying scandal who messed with the wrong guy.

There's a letter in this journal that Castiel had written to Dean. I remember seeing Rachel's car pull up outside, and for a moment my heart fluttered with the hopes of Castiel forgiving Dean, but Rachel stomped up to the front door of the Winchester household and shove the crumpled envelope through the letter box.

'If I spill my guts the world would never look at you the same way. And I'm here to give you all my love so I can watch your face as I take it all away.'

That sneaky son of a bitch.

Dean suffered with Michael's love through Halloween, through November and all the way to December. It was just cute moments, sweet, passionate sex Dean never truly wanted, and pinning Castiel; that's what the journal tells me.

Sam was my focus during these cold, dark months. He wanted to spend time with Gabriel, and since Lucifer seemed to hang around too much at the warehouse, Sam and Gabriel made my bedroom their new hangout.

"I think Australia would be the perfect place, Sammy." Gabriel poked the side of Sam's face. He was lay in Sam's arms at the top of my bed, his back on Sam's lap, his head tucked into Sam's upper arm, gazing up sweetly at his boyfriend.

Sam smiled down at him. "You'd complain about the heat."

"No I wouldn't." Gabriel poked Sam's cheek again. "I'm use to it, being around you."

Sam blushed. It was sweet. At the time I found it a little bit annoying, how it reflected on my lack of relationship, sexual and friendship, since Balthazar had seemed to abandoned ship, and the fact that Dean's plan of a relationship like this had backfired. Sam and Gabriel has it all too easy, and it was so sweet and tragic, just like Romeo and Juliet.

"We'll get a house right on the beach."

"And I'm sure we'll have a pool as well, won't we?" Sam said sarcastically, but Gabriel took it seriously.

"Naturally. Perry needs somewhere to live."

"The platypus?" I queried.

Gabriel nodded. "Perry the Platypus. He'll be a ninja."

"Agent P is a secret agent, you twit," Sam said, flicking Gabriel's ear.

Gabriel snarled at him but then laughed, playfully punching Sam's chest. "I'm not a twit; I'm fabulous!"

Gabriel was fabulous.

Balthazar started talking to me half way through November. He arrived on my doorstep mumbling something about not having any whiskey in his house, and that the shops were closed, and that he had hidden a bottle in case of emergencies in the back of my writing desk cupboard. It was a poor excuse to trying to win back my friendship, not that he need to even try, since I had come to love the big bofoon, but we soon found ourselves in my room, drinking ourselves into drunken confessions.

(Balthazar just looked over my shoulder now as I'm writing as had said that it wasn't an excuse, and that he was really just in it for the whiskey, but I know he loves me really. He's watching me write, and he's just laughed. He's just placed a sloppy kiss on my forehead. Balth, watch out. When I finish writing, I'm going to find a tea towel and whoop your arse. Yeah, he's gone now!)

"You know what," Balthazar told me, lying on my bed, the whiskey floating around his head, creating a cobweb on confusion, squeezing and pushing until all of his confessions reached the surface. I was equally the same. "I really like you, Chuck."

"Thanks," I replied, taking the bottle out of his hands, taking a gulp from it. It wasn't my poison, but it would do.

"I really liked that Dean kid."

"Yeah," I sighed, "I really feel for him."

"You know what," he said again, a bubbly hiccup erupting from his chest, "we should go find that Castiel and beat him up for what he did to our poor, helpless Dean."

I shook my head. "Dean was doing exactly the same. They were both leading each other on for different purposes. Dean was doing it to get out of a deal, and Castiel was doing it to make Dean feel his pain."

"What pain?"

"The pain of being used. Dean was using him." Balthazar grabbed the bottle off me again. "Dean was using him to his advantage."

"But to Cas, it was just a game."

"Yeah, but Dean had twice the heart."

"I don't care." Balthazar flailed his arms in the air, the bottle still in hand. He spilt some of the drink, it landing on my face. None went in my eyes, thank Jesus, but it collected in a pool on my lips. Balthazar leaned forward. "Waste not want not."

My hands collided with his shoulder and I pushed him back. He topped up and over, landing on his shoulder on my wooden floor with a loud thud. I sat up, using my sleeve to wipe away the whiskey. "What the fuck?"

Balthazar sat up, which I was thankful for, because for a second I thought that he had hit his head and that he was dead on my bedroom floor, and I was already trying to think of what to say when I asked Charlie to help me bury the body. He got back onto my bed, rubbing his head. "Look, I'm sorry, I'm--"

"Drunk?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

We both sighed and lay back on the bed, heads on the pillows. Things were winding down, the laughter that turned into an argument being forgotten. I should have turned the light off, but I was too lazy.

"Balth."

"Yeah, Chuck?"

"Do you think that one day we'll get a happily ever after?"

Balthazar thought about it for a second. "What, like Sam and Gabriel's happily ever after: a beach house in Australia?" I hummed. Balthazar sighed. "Never in a million years."


	17. No More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I missed you."
> 
> "I missed you too, Cas."

I saw Dean a lot on December, when it finally rolled around after the long, endless months of darkness, but I only ever saw him. He never spoke to me, never looked at me; just walked solemnly around his bedroom, looking for an answer that never came.

Garth had a ladder in the shed. A small fold-out one. I unscrew it and took the steps side, sliding it out of my window and resting it on Dean's window. The perfect (unsteady, unsafe, dangerous, potentially deadly) bridge. I crawled across the tapped his window. He glared at me when he turned to look at me, but he came over and slid the window open and I toppled in. The ladder slipped and fell to the ground, hitting the fence between our houses, and I sighed, realising that I would have to walk through the house to get back to my own.

Dean looked down the me, a small heap of limbs on the floor. "What do you want, Chuck?"

"I want the old Dean back."

Dean sighed and fell backwards onto his bed. I stood up and closed the window and then walked over and sat next to him. "Please, Dean."

"Chuck. Let's get one thing straight. Mike and I are--"

"Oh, so it's Mike now?"

Dean punched my arm. Hard.

"Mike and I are happy together. I don't want Cas anymore."

"He's still Cas."

"What?"

I rolled my eyes. "You still call him Cas. His name is Castiel."

Dean didn't answer. He rolled over to face away from me. "What do you want, Chuck?"

"You miss him."

"Miss who?" Dean sat up, his rage evident on his face. "I don't miss anyone."

I groaned. "Dean, just go talk to him."

"Why? Why should I? He lied to me."

"Yeah, but you were lying to him as well."

"Yeah, I know!" Dean screamed, standing up and storming across his room. He walked over to his desk and placed his clenched fists on it, leaning on them. His head was bowed, and his shoulders were rising and falling with each hot, angry breath. I watched him for a second, and then I watched as his shoulder started to shake. He slumped over more, resting his elbows on the table instead, burying his face in his hands. The first sob echoed throughout the room. "I miss him."

I stood up and walked over to him slowly. I placed a hand on his back, rubbing a soothing circle before reaching under his arm to pull him up. "Dean," I said as he stood up straight. His face was bright red, tears already staining his cheeks. His eyes were red raw already, like he had been holding back these tears for decades. "Dean, calm down, love," I said, patting his shoulders out, trying to get him to take deep breaths. His breathing levelled out, a few hiccups disturbing the pattern, and he wiped away his tears and sighed.

"Please get him to like me again," he begged.

I sighed. "I'll call Balthazar. He'll know what to do."

It was Christmas day when Dean and Castiel finally met again. The Winchester family was invited for a family Christmas dinner at the Novaks, and Dean tells me it was pretty much the most boring thing he's ever done, and that the only good thing was listening to Michael and Adam argue about which Telletubby was scarier.

I had Christmas dinner with Balthazar. Charlie, Kevin and Garth had all gone to their parents houses for Christmas, and I felt pretty alone, since my parents thought I was a fail of an author and didn't want anything to do with me. Our Christmas consisted of a bacon sandwich, a bottle of Balthazar's ever-present whiskey and a cheap, ready-made Christmas pudding that neither of us liked because of the raisins.

"Would have been better at home," Balthazar sulked, but he waved his hand in dismissal and lifted the blanket I was snuggled under and fitted himself next to me, Home Alone on the TV. "Best Christmas ever," he said as he lent his head on my arm. "I don't care; you're the very best friend ever, Chuck. Fuck my family, fuck my money. I just want you."

I don't regret him saying that. Ever.

Dean called me up about five in the afternoon and told me to turn the transmitter on. We still had it, it being used as a doorstop to stop my door from being opened by the cold, winter draught, but we only had one pair of earphones lying around the house. Balthazar and I shared.

"Will the range reach from here?" I asked.

"Sure! Hester buys everything from the military," Balthazar replied, and sure enough, the chatter of Novaks entered out ears from our seats in my cold, dark living room.

"Dean?" I asked.

"Oh, hey guys!" he replied in a whisper. He must have been to one side, away from everyone else in the room.

"What's up?"

"Cas gave me a note. He wants me to go to his room."

"Wait, Dean," Balthazar said, grabbing the microphone and sitting up straight. "He got pissed off last time with the whole 'us listening in' thing."

Dean chuckled. "Yeah, I know. But I want you to hear."

"Why?" I asked.

Dean apologised to someone, probably knocked into one of the many Novaks while he as walking, but then he turned his attention back to us. "Because I don't think he cares."

"What makes you say that?"

"The note."

Dean stopped talking, despite the silence that he elevator brought. Maybe someone was riding it with him. He didn't talk to us at all for the rest of it. The elevator stopped and Dean got off, walking down the corridor before knocking on the door. The door opened after a few seconds.

"Dean."

"Cas."

Dean walked into the room, and the microphone was immediately knocked about by Castiel's body being flung into Dean's. Dean gave a soft laugh, wrapping his arms around the smaller man. He squeezed him tight, Castiel's heartbeat echoing though the headphones, and they held onto each other for a good ten minutes. They pulled back slowly and Castiel looked up for Dean.

"I missed you."

"I missed you too, Cas."

"No more tricks?"

"No more tricks."

"No more lying?"

"No more lying."

"No more games?"

"Wait-" Dean paused. "We can still play Monopoly, right?"

Castiel laughed, reaching down the grab both of Dean's hands in his. "Sure. Just telling you now, I'm going to whoop your arse, Dean Winchester."

"Confident."

"No reason not to be."

They were silent for a moment, and I couldn't hear Balthazar breathing, and I realised that I, too, was holding my breath. The silence was prolonged, and for a second I thought that maybe they had both died, but then I heard it.

It was a small pop, which became a sucking sound, which became a hitch of breath. The echo of their hearts fluttered, and a small moan came from one of their throats, and Castiel's hand came from around Dean's neck down to his collar, brushing over his collarbone, causing Dean to gasp, until it rubbed across the microphone, and the suddenly there was a buzzing sound and we were disconnected.

I turned to Balthazar. "Do you think they're okay now?"

Balthazar smiled at me. "What's the bet they're under mistletoe right now?"

I laughed. "If so, the whole room has mistletoe on it." Balthazar raised an eyebrow. "Dean likes to use the emphasis of walls."

"This is love, Edlund, not petty one-night stands."

Balthazar shoved me, and I shoved him back, and we ended up in a heap on the sofa, tucked under the thin blanket, freezing cold, reruns of crappy Christmas shows on, the knowledge of Dean and Castiel's love warming us up enough.

Dean kept Castiel's note in his journal, tucked in the back.

'I don't know where you're going but do you got room for one more troubled soul? I don't know where I'm going, but I know that I'm not coming home. And I say, I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead. This is the road to ruin and we're starting at the end.

Say yeah. Let's be alone together. We can stay young forever. Screaming from the top of your lungs.

Cut me off, I've lost my track. It's not my fault I'm a maniac. It's not funny anymore. My heart is like a stallion: they love it more when it's broken. Do you wanna feel beautiful?

I'm outside the door. Invite me in so we can go back and play pretend. I'm on desk, yeah, I'm up next. Tonight I'm high as a privet jet.

If Heaven's grief brings Hell's rain, then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday.

Let's be alone together.'


	18. Crash And Burn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "And he's not ever going to be yours!"
> 
> "Never! Suck on that, Lucifer!"

I pressed the answer button the second I realised it was Sam calling. I brought my mobile up to my ear as I sat up on my bed. "Hello?"

No one answered. I listened. Distant shouting.

The warehouse.

I squeezed the phone between my shoulder and my ear as I hopped down the stairs, trying to put my shoes on. I threw on my thick coat, yet the winter blizzard still hit me as I leaped out of the front door. I landed knee high in snow. I trudged through, cursing Garth for not clearing it, but as soon as I got onto the gritted road I ran again.

I got to the warehouse not five minutes later, and when I waded through the snow on the field in front of it, I could already hear the taunts.

"Winchester."

I made it to the door, but I tripped on a hidden tyre buried beneath the snow. I fell to the ground, my head ached, and for a moment, everything was black.

It was the smell of burning that woke me back up. Everything was dizzy, like being submerged in water, only ten times hotter. I twisted round, peering through the door where I lay in the snow.

"Get down here, Winchester."

There was Lucifer, stood on a wooden crate, starting up into the rafters. I could see the flick of the flame, and as I pushed myself along the ground, too weak to stand after hitting my head, I saw the hay bail he had set alight.

"You've gotta come down at some point, Sammy."

"Fuck of, Luci," I heard Gabriel shout, and I looked up, and there he was, directly above the small, yet growing fire, clinging onto the wooden beams that held the roof up.

Lucifer laughed, his face as innocent as a child. "Gabe, all you had to do was share your toys. We wouldn't be playing sacrificial burning if you had, now would we." He climbed up onto a higher crate and smirked up again. "This is all your fault, Gabriel."

"Gabriel has nothing to do with this." And there was Sam, close to Gabriel, yet almost more above the fire than his boyfriend.

"Come on, Sammy," Lucifer said again, another box higher, "just come down and play with me."

"No." Sam's grip on the beam slipped a little, but he clung on tight. "I'm not marrying you, Lucifer."

Lucifer tutted, a quiet sound over the noise of the fire, and he looked down at his non-existent watch. "Four days, Sammy. Four days until the church bells will be ringing our names."

"Why do you care?" Sam asked.

I pushed myself out of the snow and lent against the wall. I must have been concussed, but that wasn't the problem right now. Vertigo struck me, and I fell to my knees.

Lucifer laughed, such an innocent and childish laugh, and he smiled up at the boy quivering in the rafters. "Because, you are so entertaining, Winchester." He climbed up onto another box, the boxes now becoming unsteady. He wobble a little bit, but kept his balance. How Gabriel and Sam got up on the beams, I didn't know, but Lucifer seemed sure that he was going up there, or at least getting them down, hence the fire. Burn them out.

"Just come down and play, Sammy," he whined.

"Luce," Gabriel said sternly, "you are such a big baby. Just because Dad promised you a punchbag doesn't mean you get to have it. The old man's gotta break this promise."

Lucifer seem genuinely confused. "Why do you get him? He's mine."

"He's not anyone's property."

"I'm not anyone's property!" Sam chimed in.

"He's not an object."

"I'm not an object!"

"And he's not ever going to be yours!"

Sam smiled the best he could in the situation and cheered, "Never! Suck on that, Lucifer!"

Lucifer pulled a sour face, and for a second I thought he was going to cry, but his face dropped, went completely serious, and then he opened his mouth to speak. "If I can't have you, then no one can."

Gabriel turned around to look at Sam. They stared at each other, sensing Lucifer's approach as he climbed the boxes. Gabriel swallowed, taking one hand off the beam he was hugging and held it out to Sam across the gap between them. He couldn't reach. Sam's hands slipped on the beam, and his arms squeezed it tighter, but then he let one hand go, reaching out as well. Their fingers brushed.

Lucifer's foot slipped on the unsteady boxes, and he fell backwards into the haystack beyond where the boxes once stood. The boxes flew into the middle of the room, three of them landing on top of the burning hay bail and they caught alight almost instantly. Lucifer shuffled backward on his hands and butt, shocked at the fall and the sudden increase of flames.

I wanted to run in and help, but now the boxes that lay around the floor were catching, and there was nowhere for me to go inside. I stayed outside, watching.

I looked back up, and a flash of brown flew as Sam, in his brown jacket, fell from the rafters. It happened so quickly, I almost missed it, but no one missed the screetch that came from Gabriel. He screamed, yelped, yelled his throat raw as he shouted 'Sammy!' over and over again. He got no reply. There was only a quick scramble as Sam tried to dash out of the fire, but he soon fell, and he never got up.

Lucifer found the back entrance to the warehouse and left his brother up by the roof with all of the smoke. He didn't go far.

Neighbours must have saw the flames, and soon as I being pulled back. It was a strange feeling, like everything was in slow motion yet was going so fast. My memory of the event is fogged, like the rafters the firemen were bringing Gabriel down from, so I'm sorry if this part of the story doesn't make sense.

I'll make it simple: Sam died. Gabriel lived. Lucifer lived.

I felt like passing out as the firefighters wrapped a blanket around me. All I could see is Gabriel over on the other side of the field, two firefighters wrapping their arms around his waist, pulling him away from the burning building, Gabriel's arms and legs flaring around, punching, kicking, screaming Sam's name over and over again. I knew he would have run back into the half-extinguished building if it weren't for the dozen of men who were pinning him down.

I did pass out for a second, because I remember waking up to the fire completely out. An ambulance had arrived, and Gabriel was calm; crying, but calm, sat with Balthazar and Michael on the edge of a fire engine.

I went to stand up to go join them, but someone emerging from the bushes caught all of our eyes. Gabriel's eyes glared the sharpest, deadliest daggers I had ever seen, and he jumped out of Balthazar and Michael's arms before they could grab him, and he flung himself at Lucifer, knocking him to the ground.

"You fucking bastard, you fucking killed my Sammy!" he screetched, punch after punch landing themselves on his older brother. Lucifer brought his hands up to cover his face in defence. Michael stepped in, grabbing Gabriel by under his arms and pulling him up back to his feet. Gabriel was kicking, trying to get at Lucifer. "YOU DEMON!"

Lucifer got up slowly, chuckling to himself. Gabriel growled, a deep, animistic growl, and he slipped out of Michael's arms. He lunged forward again, arms out to push at Lucifer's shoulders. Lucifer reached down, and a flash of metal caught my eye. The two brothers collided into each other an toppled over, Gabriel landing on top of Lucifer. The slight hill they were on made it easy for Lucifer to turn them over, and Gabriel lay on his back, his eyes widened, his brother pinning him down and the pocket knife already buried in his chest. Lucifer smiled, leaning down close to his brother's face. "Gabe," he muttered, licking the specks of blood off of his own lips. Gabriel stared up into his brother's eyes. "Welcome to Death Valley." Lucifer pulled the knife out of Gabriel's chest, and the younger Novak gasped, little oxygen and more blood splewing through the hole in his lung. The knife flashed again, and Lucifer's arm swiped, and the trickled of blood fell from Gabriel's neck onto the soft, crisp-white snow below him.

I collapsed onto the ground and stared. Michael couldn't move, and Balthazar was slowly sinking to the floor, holding his mouth open.

A glooming peace this morning with it brings;

The sun, for sorrow, will not show his head:

Go hence, to have more talk of these sad things;

Some shall be pardon'd, and some punished:

For never was a story of more woe

Than this of Sam and his Gabriel.


	19. Five Stages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We're running out of time, Chuck."
> 
> "The wedding's in two days. We have today and tomorrow to save you."
> 
> "And Cas."

I purposely left my curtains closed. It wasn't ignorance of Dean, but because I couldn't take his grief any more. I died every time I saw him fall to his knees in the middle of his room, doubled over in agony and despair. His room was trashed, his books thrown across the room, his laptop smashed against the wall, his posters ripped down and his carpet stained with the tears and the blood that he scratched out of his arms with his blunt nails. He would gasp, hyperventilate every time he remembered the fact, and he would just collapse like he had been shot, and I just couldn't bare watching this every day when I looked out of my window.

Still, four days later, 30th December, Dean tapped my window and I answered. "We're running out of time, Chuck."

"The wedding's in two days. We have today and tomorrow to save you."

"And Cas." Dean didn't sit on his windowsill, and I'm glad he didn't, because I would have been worried that he would purposely slip and fall to the ground. He stayed in his room and sipped his tea. "I've been texting Cas." He took another sip of his drink. "I know he's not playing games any more."

"Why, what'd he say?"

Dean licked the tea off of his lips. His lowered his voice, probably scared that his parents would hear him. "He wants to run away with me."

This didn't surprise me. "So you're not getting married to him?"

Dean tried to smile, but the grief that still ate at his soul made it into an awkward show of his teeth and a shaky chuckle. "All in good time, Shurley."

There was a crash from within Dean's house, and at the same time my phone rang. I pressed answer quickly but kept my attention on Dean as he ran out of his room to inspect the noise.

"Chuck. Dude! Earth to Chuck!"

I turned to my phone. "Oh, sorry Balth."

"God, you're the wors-"

"Sorry, distracted by total destruction." Balthazar went quiet as he realised the seriousness.

Dean came back into his room with Adam tucked under his arm. He sat his brother down on the bed and knelt in front of him, holding his hands. I couldn't hear him, but I could see him whispering comfort to his younger brother. After about ten minutes, after Adam had stopped his crying as had calmed down, now lay back with his eyes closed on Dean's bed, Dean walked back to the window and nodded at me.

"Everything alright?" I asked.

"Mum collapsed," he said, leaning his elbows on the sill and placed his head in them, "in shock."

"You call an ambulance?"

"Dad did. They should be here soon."

"Adam alright?"

Dean turned and glanced at his peaceful brother. "Kinda. He and Mum were washing up in the kitchen when she fell. She was holding a knife at the time, so Adam freaked out a little. She didn't hurt herself, but, you know-" he nodded at Adam "- he's a bit jumpy at the moment."

"Everything alright?" Balthazar asked through the phone. I had forgot he was there.

I pointed at the phone when Dean raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, Balth. Mary's had a fall and-"

An ambulance pulled up outside, blue lights on but no siren, and Dean turned to look at it. "I should go and help."

"He leaving? Stop him!"

"Balthazar said wait," I said, and Dean stopped turning to walk away. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Tell him," Balthazar said hurriedly, "that we're all having a bonfire tonight--"

"Balth, not another one," I said, remembering the last bonfire I went to with Balthazar.

"No, not like that. Just... Everyone who's in on the plan will be there. We need to get sorted. We're running out of time."

"Okay." I looked at Dean. "We're having a meeting tonight. Everyone involved is going to be there."

Dean nodded. "Okay." He turned and ran downstairs to help.

Adam opened his eyes and slowly sat up from Dean's bed. He looked at me, and I hung up on Balthazar without saying goodbye. "Hey."

Adam tried to smile at me. "Hey." He stood up and walked over to the open window. "What were you talking about?"

I didn't know whether or not Adam was involved, or whether or not I should involve him. I stuttered for a moment before Adam interrupted me. "I know that Sam was dating Gabriel."

"How?"

"Bit obvious. Why would Lucifer kill Gabriel as well?" His voice broke a little bit at the end, obviously thinking about Sam, but then he swallowed and lent against the windowsill. "I think they were planning on running away. Sam's got two suitcases half packed under his bed."

"Do your parents know about it?"

Adam shook his head, but then pulled a face and replied, "Kinda. Dad doesn't know, but I think Mum knows. She keeps mumbling about how it was inevitable she was going to loose her baby. I think she knows he was going to leave."

So Adam wasn't involved yet. An idea came to my mind. "What would you have done if Sam had ran away?"

Adam chuckled. "Look, I'm just lucky I wasn't part of that deal the arseholes made up. I would have ran away just to get out of it."

"So you would have supported him?"

"You realised that I would have had to marry Lucifer if Sam ran away. I probably have to marry him now, if he weren't for the fact that he's wanted."

I chuckled. "They found the bastard yet?"

Adam shook his head with a frown. "Bring back the death penalty, that's what I say." I had to agree. Adam sighed and stood up straight. "Dean's going to run away, isn't he?" It sounded less of a question and more of a beg. He wanted Dean to run away; he wanted Dean to be happy. He needed Dean to be happy.

I nodded. "Yeah."

"Who with?"

I laughed. "Who said he was runn-"

"Who's Cas?" I was silent as I watched Adam cross Dean's room and pick up the journal. This was the first time I had seen that journal (so, yeah, groundbreaking moment here). He placed the journal on the windowsill, facing me, and opened it to the page that I am now so familiar with. In the middle of the page was a Polaroid picture of Dean and Castiel both pulling silly faces, sellotaped on at the corners with lots of love hearts and kisses around it, in swirly writing, that I now know it Castiel's, written below 'Let's be alone together'.

I swallowed. "Castiel is..." I thought for a moment. "Dean's boyfriend."

"Is he a Novak, too?" Adam asked, referencing Gabriel.

I nodded. "They love each other."

Adam hummed, turning the journal back around to look at it. He smiled, closing the book and throwing it on Dean's bed. "Well," he said with a sigh, "good luck to him."

Adam was at the bonfire later. Dean wasn't too happy about him knowing, but Adam seemed supportive of Dean and Castiel's situation, so Dean agreed to him staying. The fire itself intimidated us all, and the only reason we all left it was because it was cold in the middle of a frozen woods and we would all be as dead as Sam and Gabriel if it weren't for the fire. Funny how the fire can kill some and save others.

"Right," Balthazar said loudly, getting the attention of everyone. He stood on one of the logs and waved his arms. "We are here to discus Operation: Marriage Hack."

Dean stood up. "Actually, it's Operation: Live, now."

Castiel nodded his head. "We're on the brink of death, now. Lucifer's still out there, the Bastard-" Cas referred to his father "- is angered and Michael is..." He trailed off, looking down. I felt like he was hiding something innocent enough, like Michael was angry, but for some reason, I knew it was more. It was something all the Novaks seemed to share, them all looking down at their laps with solemn looks on their faces. None of the non-Novaks commented out loud about it.

Balthazar looked around the group. There was twelve of us sat around the fire, a lot less than the last time I was here, a few months before. Dean, Castiel, Balthazar, Adam and I were obviously there, along with Hester, who was still our drop box for emergency equipment, Naomi, who was there to try and make sure the plan wouldn't effect the Novak's badly, because she hated commotion, Samandriel, who was there to avenge his best friend's brother's death, Jo Havelle, Dean's 'cousin', who seemed to be sitting a bit too close to Balthazar, and after remembering what happened between the two of them last time they were here, I could see why. For some reason, Charlie, Kevin and Garth were here as well. They didn't say anything when I asked why, instead nodding to Balthazar. I guess it was a case of having as many people on their side as possible. They hadn't had anything to do with the plan before hand, but they wanted to help their next door neighbour, try and save another couple of star-crossed lovers.

"So," Balthazar said again after Castiel had interrupted him, "we need to plan this. We have tomorrow, and then that's it. Dean can't help tomorrow, since he's expected to be trying on suits and choosing wedding decorations with Michael, or some dumb, pointless shit like that. So, meanwhile, we can act.

"Have you started packing?" Balthazar asked Dean, and Dean shook his head. "Right then, Adam-" he pointed to Adam, and then pointed to the person next to him "- Samandriel: you two pack all of Dean's things. Find some bags and shove the essentials in. Clothes, toiletries, special things. You should know what to pack, Adam. Dean-" Balthazar threw a notepad and pen from his bag at Dean "- write down a list of things you want packing. And Cas, tomorrow, go pack all of your stuff."

The four of them nodded. Balthazar turned to Hester and Naomi. "You two, we need stay with Dean. Hester, you'll have the microphone-earpiece thingy." Hester opened her mouth to tell Balthazar the actual, scientific name for it, but Balthazar continue. "Stay close to Dean and make sure everything runs smoothly. Keep everyone away from the Winchester's house."

"What are you going to do in my house?" Dean asked cautiously.

"Well, first of all, the packing," Balthazar said, pointing at Adam and Samandriel, "and second of all, we need to get the keys to that Chevy Impala that's always parked outside." Balthazar wiggled his eyebrows. "That's your escape vehicle."

"My wedding gift is our escape vehicle?" Dean asked, but then he smiled. "You know, I've always wanted that Impala, ever since I was little, but Dad promised me it for a wedding gift."

"Well, Dean, consider it the wedding gift for yours and Castiel's wedding!" Dean smiled at Balthazar's words. Castiel snuggled deeper into Dean's arms.

"Right, you!" Balthazar said loudly, pointing at Kevin. "I hear you're a genius." He pointed at Charlie. "And you're a hacker." He pointed at Garth. "And that you're awesome."

"Who told you that?" Garth asked.

Balthazar smirked at me, and I face-palmed. "You lovely roommate, Shurley."

Charlie smirked at me. "I knew you liked us really."

"Shut up," I said under my breath, nudging Charlie in the arm.

"You three are going to be in the Winchester's house. You need to find equipment. Impala keys, food, matches, a gun-" Kevin's eyes widened at Balthazar's words "- ammunition---"

"Too far, Balth," Dean said with a laugh.

Balthazar sulked, but continued. "You three need to get as much as you can to help Dean survive. And Charlie, I have a very special mission for you."

"What?"

"Well, Michael has a hidden condo in Canada. It's holiday season; all the planes are full. We don't have enough money. Can you hack John's laptop and get into his bank account, pay for tickets, get them on the planes and get to the the Canadian condo we don't know the destination of?"

Charlie stared blankly at Balthazar for a second before nodding. "I'll try my best."

"No, you will do you best, and you will get these two love birds to Canada to live happily ever after."

"Why Michael's condo?" Dean asked.

"Because he said that it's the place he would run to. That means that Dad doesn't know about it. Only Michael would."

"But isn't that a bit--"

"Dean, stop questioning it. Michael is a decent person; you'll be fine. On the subject of Michael, though, Dean. I need you to talk to him tomorrow about you and him running away. I need you to get the keys off him."

I stood up. "Balth, this is getting risky."

"Chuck, who's the genius behind all of these plans?"

"Dean."

Balthazar glared at me, so I sat down. He looked over to Jo and smiled. "And you, love," he winked, "I need you to make sure that John and Mary are away from the house. John will probably talk with my Dad, but it's Mary you need to worry about. She'll probably be lurking around, trying to protect Adam, or something."

Jo nodded. "Okay."

"Right, does everyone have a job?"

Everyone nodded, except me. "What about us?"

Balthazar smirked at me. "We're doing what we're always doing, Edlund." He hopped down from his podium and waltzed over to me with a smile. "Listening and being awesome."


	20. Operation: Live

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Thanks for the memories."
> 
> "Thank you, brother."
> 
> "Goodbye."
> 
> "Goodbye."

I woke up very early the next morning. My curtains were open a slither, and the morning sun was blinding me. I wanted to turn over and go back to sleep, but I sat up instead, opening my curtains and windows and smiling at the groggy Dean leaning out of his window, hot chocolate in his hands.

"Morning."

"Morning," he replied slowly.

I turned to look at the clock inside my room. "It's half five."

"I want to go back to sleep."

"You should, Dean. You're gonna be up late tonight. We don't know what time Charlie will get the plane tickets."

Dean closed his eyes and breathed in slowly through his nose, taking in the smell of the morning air. He let it out just as slowly before opening eyes and giving me a small smile. "This will be our last time doing this."

"Talking out of our windows?"

"Yeah. Tomorrow I'll be in Canada, sleeping in the arms of Cas in a condo my ex-fiance owns." Dean's eyebrows furrowed. "Why Michael's condo?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Balthazar had bad judgement, especially when he's drunk."

"How often is he drunk?"

"How often is he sober?"

Dean chuckled. "But what if Michael finds out we're there? He'll come for us."

"I don't think it's a permanent place. It's just a safe-hold until you two can find somewhere to settle down. Michael said he doesn't want to be forced to marry you, so he'll probably draw the attention away from the condo. The problem is Castiel; I thought Michael was in love with you."

Dean froze. "Michael is in love with me, isn't he. He wants to run away with me and marry me." Dean buried his face in his hands. "He's so nice."

"Dean, don't get feelings for him now."

"But he's so innocent, so..." Dean looked up, his eyes almost guilty, "I'm going to break his heart. I mean, how bad was I when I was playing Cas; Michael's going to be ten times worse."

"Dean, you're been breaking people's hearts your entire life!"

"Yeah, but now I know what it's like to be in love; to actually be in love. Michael wants to marry me. I--"

"Dean!" Adam said this, and we both turned to see him standing in the doorway of Dean's bedroom. "You're gonna wake Mum and Dad up. If they find out..." He trailed off, gave his brother a smile, and went back to bed.

Dean turned around and sighed, talking in a quieter voice. "I can't stay here and marry him, though. I love Cas."

"Exactly," I said with a smile. He smiled back at me. We stared at each other for a moment, and my heart clenched. Balthazar may have joked about me having a crush on Dean, so I don't want you getting ideas that I do, but in this moment, I admit, I just wanted to squeeze him tight and never let him go. Dean had became a sort of brother to me. And then I realised it.

Dean was the reason I made it through this year. He was the thing I focused on; the thing I lived for. At the start of the year, I was a failed author. I was disowned by my family, forced to live with uni students because I didn't go to uni myself. I was an alcoholic, and, I haven't mentioned this, but a tad bit suicidal as well.

I don't drink anymore; at least, not like I use to, anyway. I'm published, actually a good author. I have a fanbase for my book, Supernatural. The sequel was out in time for Christmas. Sam Wesson and Dean Smith were famous; low class famous, but famous enough for me. I never once thought about offing myself since I started talking to Dean.

Dean made me make it through this year. He saved my life.

And I guess I saved him.

"Dean," I said, and I could feel the tears coming and the clog in my throat. Dean looked concerned at me. "You are the greatest brother I have ever had."

Dean smiled at me, a huge, warm smile, bigger than I've ever seen him smile in a long time. "Thank you for everything, Chuck. Thank you."

The day went so slow, and every time I looked at the clock, I got a rush of anticipation and sadness. I'm loosing my brother but I'm saving him and his boyfriend. Balthazar came around at seven in the morning with the transmitted in his bag. He unpacked it and handed me the headphones. "It's not online yet, but it will soon be. Dean left yet?"

"Just. He's meeting Michael to go shopping at half past."

Balthazar nodded. "Okay. Hester should be with Michael, since she's our mole. Naomi's with Dad."

"Okay."

Balthazar was drinking his whiskey, yes, this early in the morning, and I sat with my cup of tea. He offered me some, and I refused. "You don't drink."

I looked down at my tea. "Yeah I do."

"You spiked your tea?"

"No."

"You don't drink alcohol. You're boring."

"Well, sorry...."

Balthazar glared confused at me. "Don't be moody, princess. Today's the wrong day to be on your period." I nudged Balthazar and he nudged me back, giving me a friendly smile.

Hester turned on her end of the wireless communication system around quarter to eight, and a loud, booming voice entered the earphones. "Now Hester, you make sure their suits look good, okay. I don't want that bloody Winchester getting in a dress, or something stupid like that."

"Yes, Father."

I turned to Balthazar. "That your dad?"

Balthazar shrugged. "Never met the guy. I don't know."

I laughed. Hester walked away from God and spoke to us. "Balthazar, you're a bloody idiot, you know. Father's always around the house."

"Look, darlin'," Balthazar said with a smirk, "Daddy bought me an Xbox; do you think I'm gonna play catch with him when I can be blowing up Nazi Zombie's heads?"

"Look, darlin'," Hester replied, and I could imagine her walking becoming more sassy, hips swaying, "if you stopped making out with your boyfriend, then maybe you'd realise that getting close to Daddy means getting to shoot real Nazi Zombies. The more you know."

I stared at Balthazar. "What does she mean?"

"The real Nazi Zombies part or the boyfriend part?"

Hester found Dean and Michael. They greeted each other and started shopping.

"There's lots of places here to shop," Michael said. They were in a few towns over, a place apparently built for the rich and famous to go wedding shopping. A wedding shopping mall, basically.

"Where do we start?" Dean asked.

"I have a list."

"Of course Michael has a list," Balthazar said with a laugh. Hester chuckled.

"Hester," I said, "you're not suppose to indicate that you're talking to us. Don't make it obvious."

"Okay," she replied, and I facepalmed. Bloody blondes.

"Okay?" Michael asked, but then Hester started walking.

"Okay."

I took the headphones off and walked over to the window. I could see through the two closed windows Adam and Samandriel already going through Dean's things, sorting things out and laughing as Adam discovered Dean's box of sex toys and porn magazines under his bed. I chucked at them.

John and Mary were already out, John probably, like Balthazar had said, talking business with his frenemy, God, and Mary probably with the bridesmaids and Jo, finding dresses and flowers.

I walked across my room, waving to Balthazar who was still listening to pointless chitchat, and walked down the stairs and outside and walked across to the Winchester's house. I walked inside to see Kevin running up the stairs. "All good?"

Kevin nodded. "Yeah. Just getting stuff together."

"You found those car keys yet?"

Garth walked out of the kitchen, holding them up. "Got them."

"Excellent!"

I found Charlie in John and Mary's room, John's laptop set up. She had managed to log onto John's bank account, and she was converting money onto her own. "They'll be able to track the plane tickets if we pay with his account," she explained.

"Good work."

I checked up on Adam and Samandriel as well, who seemed to have half a suitcase packed, and I left to go back to Balthazar. Outside, I called Castiel.

"Hello?"

"Hey Castiel, it's Chuck."

"Yes, you are in my contacts."

I ignored the obvious and continued. "You packing?"

"Yes. I just can't decide whether to take my blue top of my red top."

"Castiel, you can buy thing in Canada, you know."

"Yes." He hung up after that. Sometimes I do still question his mental stability.

I flopped onto my bed when I got into my room. Balthazar looked bored.

"We're not going to hear anything interesting for a while, Balth," I said, reaching over to rub the back of his shoulder. He lent his head in his arms, getting comfy as he lay on his front.

"Why?"

"Because the only interesting thing about Hester's side of this is Dean and Michael talking about running away together, but Hester's not going to be there when they talk about that."

"They why are we listening?"

"In case something goes wrong there. Dean needs to get hold of us quickly."

Balthazar sulked and closed his eyes. "I'm bored."

"I know."

"How is everyone else?"

I looked over to the window and then looked back. "They're fine. Charlie's got the money, Garth's got the keys and I think the others are good. Castiel's packing."

"And..."

"What?"

"I sense an 'and' coming along."

I glared at Balthazar. "And he can't de-"

"Decide what to wear," Balthazar continued and he laughed. "Typical Cas."

Mary pulled up back at her home around two in the afternoon, by that point the Winchester house was empty, minus Adam and two full suitcases hidden under Dean's bed. The day was dragging out, slow and long, and around three o'clock Balthazar seemed more interested in what he was listening to all day.

"They're gone."

"What do you mean, they're gone?"

"Dean and Michael; they've gone to talk about running away."

"Didn't you give Dean a codew-"

"Codeword for if he got the keys to the condo? Yeah. I told him to tell Hester that her earrings are beautiful."

"How is Dean going to get the keys?"

"I don't know? Plan to run away with Michael, then say he'll look after the keys... Dean's smart; he'll think of something..."

Half an hour later: "He said it! Her earrings are beautiful!" He turned and beamed at me. "They're going to Canada!!!"

I called Castiel again. "Yes, Chuck, I have finished packing."

"You got everything. You got your toothbrush?"

"Yes, Chuck. I'm not a child."

"Okay, okay. Sorry..."

I fell asleep after that, still tired from not sleeping well the night before, and I woke up with my head on Balthazar's shoulder, his arm wrapped around me. Of course I assumed, and I sat up.

"It's... it's not what you think," he stuttered. I didn't say anything, because it didn't matter.

"Anything happen while I was out?"

Balthazar shrugged. "Dean and Michael have left. They're on their way back to the my house."

We can't hear their conversation now, since Hester had turned off the microphone and had gone to hang out with her friends. We could only wait for Dean to return to his house. Charlie had booked tickets for a plane to Canada, half one in the morning at an airport an hour away, since it was only only flight she could get them on, since it was New Year's Eve.

Dean got back home around eight o'clock, and he ate his tea with his remaining family and went to bed. Just, what he meant by going to bed was using Garth's stepladder I had broken as a bridge to slide the suitcases across into my room so that Dean didn't have to made a noise taking them downstairs. Dean stayed in his room, in case his parents checked up on him. I didn't talk, since it's not the same in the dark. All of our window conversations were in the daylight, so it felt so weird doing it at night. I sat on my bed and played with my phone. Balthazar spoke to him, though.

"What did Michael say?"

"Like we expected. He loves me, a lot, and he wants to run away with me tomorrow before the wedding."

"I'm surprised he doesn't want to run away with you now. Escape in the night."

"Like I'm going to do with Cas. What time is Cas coming over?"

"Just before midnight. He's getting Naomi to drop her off, since we can't trust Rachel."

"I can't believe she's backed off enough to let us talk to Cas."

"Yes, well, like I said, we all just follow Michael. Everyone trusts you, Dean."

"Well, they shouldn't." I heard the jingle of keys from where I was sat on my bed, and I turned to see Dean holding up the keys to Michael's condo.

I chimed in. "Is it wise to go to Michael's condo. What if Michael goes looking for you?"

"Nonsense," Balthazar said with a smile. "I'll keep him locked down, if he does."

"It's just a safe-house, right?" Dean asked.

Balthazar nodded. "You go to Canada and you find yourself a nice little home to live in. A cabin in a woods, or something." Dean nodded.

There was a knock on my door, earlier than I expected, and I ran downstairs to let Castiel in, his suitcases in tow. It was cold outside, the snow still thick, and Castiel had snowflakes dotted all over his hair like a crown. We went up to my room. Castiel went to the window and reached out, touching hands with Dean.

"Baby, you okay?" Dean asked.

Castiel nodded. "Cold outside."

It was coming up to midnight. Time to put the plan into action. Balthazar and I slid the ladder back between the two windows and Dean climbed on, closing his window to, but not locked, behind him and shuffled his way across. He landed in my room at our feet, looking up to give us a goofy smile. We pulled the ladder back into my room and closed the window.

Castiel and Dean pulled the suitcases across the room and towards the stairs. "Come on," Dean said, "we're going to be late for our flight."

"You said goodbye to everyone?" Balthazar asked.

Dean nodded. "Couldn't say it properly to Mum and Dad, but I said goodbye to Adam. He said he wants to come with me."

"He's sixteen; he's got his life ahead of him," I said, smiling at Dean.

"You'll look out for him, won't you?"

I nodded. "Of course, Dean. I promise."

We went downstairs, Charlie, Kevin and Garth looking out of their bedrooms to say goodbye to Dean and Castiel. We quickly scanned the perimeter before helping Dean and Castiel take their bags to the Impala. I handed Dean the keys. He stared at the keys for a moment before smiling.

"I've always wanted this."

"Dean, just open the boot." Balthazar said, and Dean went around and unlocked the boot for us. We pulled the bags around to the back, lifting Castiel' bags into the boot and sliding Dean's into the back seats. The doors closed and Dean and Castiel stared at Balthazar and I.

Castiel moved first, running up to his older brother and wrapping his arms around him. "Thank you for everything, Balthazar," he mumbled into his shirt.

Balthazar held Castiel tight. "You take care of yourself, Cas. You be good, okay?" Castiel nodded and turned to me.

"Thank you, Chuck." And to my surprise, he hugged me. I hugged him back, and he pulled away and turned and got into the passenger side of the car.

Dean walked to Balthazar and gave him a quick hug and a pat on the back. "Thanks, Balth."

"Pleasure's all mine, Dean Winchester."

"Seriously, you've been amazing." Dean turned to look at me. He stared at me for a moment before he walked over, bringing me tightly to his chest. I hugged his back just as tight. We held onto each other, because we both knew that we were loosing our brothers again. He pulled back slowly, hands on my shoulders, smiling at me. "Chuck." He chuckled. "Thanks for the memories."

"Thank you, brother."

"Goodbye."

"Goodbye."

Dean turned and walked towards the Impala and his hand touched the car door. Another car pulled up on the other side of the street, and we didn't take notice of it until Michael jumped out and walked across the street. "What's going on here?"

Balthazar stuttered and stumbled before he turned around and legged it back inside my house, too scared to stand up to his brother. Michael looked at Dean, turned to look at Castiel and the bags in the car, and then looked back at Dean, and his heart shattering was visible all over his face. "Dean?"

"Mike, we...." Dean tried, but he couldn't. His shoulder's sank, and I could see he was giving up. He just wanted to jump into the car and drive away. They were going to be late for the plane if they didn't hurry up.

"Dean?" Michael tried again.

I stepped forward. "Michael, why are you here?"

Michael looked at me, and I thought his face might of changed to look angered, but it stayed the same heartbroken look. He pointed at Dean with a slow, shaking hand. "I was coming to pick Dean up?"

"What?" Dean asked.

"We were going to run away together."

It was silent. The winter air stilled, and the snow stopped falling. Michael stared at Dean, and then a tear slowly slid down his cheek. "Dean?" he tried again, his voice breaking. He let out a sob, a small cough, and his shoulder's curled in and his knees bent. "Please Dean," he said, and he fell to the ground, his breath heaving as his hands came up to cover his mouth. "Please."

"Mike, I can't," Dean said, and he took a step forward towards Michael to comfort him, but then he stopped. He spun around and opened the car door, getting in and closing the door with a bang.

"Dean, please, I'm begging you," Michael said from the floor, but Dean couldn't hear him; didn't want to hear him. Michael pressed his face in his hands into his knees, sobbing, crying, his heart spilling out all over the white snow in flows of sorrow. "Please."

Dean started the car. He turned to look at Castiel. Castiel smiled. Dean reached out a hand and held it in the air. Castiel took it. They linked their fingers. Dean pressed his foot down and the Impala drove forward and down the street. They turned the corner out of view. The clock struck twelve. Fireworks went off. Goodbye.


	21. Let's Be Alone Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That's what happened to us on the first day of that year.

I spent my first day of the new year wrapped up in Balthazar's arms. We were cold, and my room felt so empty. We spent the whole day like that, just listening to each other breathing. We got up to get a cup of tea and some biscuits, but then we went back under my covers and lay together. That's what happened to us on the first day of that year.

Michael got up from the snowy pavement and got back into his car and drove home. He lay on his bed and he cried into the covers. His ignored the knocks on his door, ignored the people walking into his room through the elevator. He ignored everything except the aching feeling in his heart. His father found him and pulled him to his feet. Michal told him everything. The first slap hurt the most. The first punch hurt more. They multiplied, and Michael kept crying. His was a disgrace, just like his father was yelling at him. He was a failure, because he couldn't get one man to marry him. He was an abomination, a mistake. He was not his son. Michael lay on his floor, his white carpet slowly becoming red, and when Raphael sound him later she called an ambulance. Later that day, Michael was lay in the hospital, and every new pill or needle they shoved into him did nothing for the pain in his heart, but his body felt numb, bruised and broken. He was a mistake, and he believed it. He didn't want to be a mistake any more. He lied to the nurse, and more painkillers, too many painkillers, tried to sooth the pain in his heart, and it worked. That's what happened to Michael on the first day of that year.

Lucifer woke up laughing. His father didn't own him. He knew today was going to be the day that he would have been forced to marry Sam, not that he wanted to at first but he had saw the potential a year ago. He got out of bed and left to get some milk and bread for he and his housemates when he was pushed to the ground. The handcuffs were on him in a flash, and he screamed. He didn't cooperate at all. He struggled as the policeman pulled him to the car. He lied as they filled in the forms. He screamed song lyrics to annoy the cell wardens. He lay down as it went dark outside and smiled at the wall opposite, loving the way the handcuffs were digging into his wrists, rubbing them raw. That's what happened to Lucifer on the first day of that year.

Adam didn't get up until the late afternoon, because he couldn't deal with the sound of his mother sobbing and his father yelling. His room was locked and his music played loudly in his ears. When he left his room, he went into Dean's room and sat on the windowsill. He watched my window, waiting for the curtains to draw back and for my face to appear so that he could talk to me, but nothing happened. He went downstairs and found his mother on the sofa, his father talking to a scary looking man in a suit about how Winchester & Son was now part of Heaven® because the deal was not met. Adam sat down next to his mother, who didn't react until he wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly, whispering to her that Dean was okay, and that they would all be okay. He fell asleep next to his mother, the both of them wishing that the world would just swallow them up, but they knew it wouldn't. Not them. They needed to stay. That's what happened to Adam on the first day of that year.

My phone ran about five in the afternoon. I answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hey Chuck."

"You okay?"

"Yeah. I just wanted to tell you that this bed is really comfy."

Balthazar raised an eyebrow at me.

I smiled. "Dean's impressed with Michael's bed."

Dean laughed. "Yep, gonna make use of that later."

I cringed. "Dean, shut up."

Balthazar grabbed my phone off me. "Is Cas okay?" He turned the phone on speaker.

"Oh, no," Dean said, and Balthazar's eyes widened, "he was eaten by a polar bear a few minutes ago. Tragic."

"Dean, don't mess around like that! I'm worried about him!" Balthazar said loudly, but then he laughed.

Castiel appeared in the background. "They okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, we're fine," I said with a smile, though I knew the two of them couldn't see me. They were off in Canada, Castiel probably cooking their dinner, Dean unpacking their things, the two of them probably having just finished a conversation about what they're going to do on Michael's bed later.

"Oh, and guess what?" Dean said and then gave a big laugh, a whoop of joy. "Mike has wifi!"

I laughed. "Yes, very important!"

We all laughed. The laughter slowly died down until it was completely silent.

"How is everyone there?"

"I don't know," I honestly replied.

"So, no one's getting married, then?"

"No one!" Balthazar said triumphantly. "I think this was the best plan I've ever come up with."

"Dean was the one who came up with it. You just helped," I said, lightly punching Balthazar in the chest.

Balthazar scoffed. "Bitch, I'm a genius, and you're just well jel of my fabulousness!" Balthazar pretended to flick his short hair behind his head like a girl. I laughed.

"So, everyone's okay now?" Dean asked.

"Yes. Everyone's okay."

Everything was silent.

"Happy new year, guys," Dean wished us.

"Happy new year." Balthazar muttered.

I smiled, and I knew it was going to be true. "Happy new year."

And it has been a happy new year. It had been an amazing year. I spent this whole year writing, and I'm quite successful, if I do say so myself. Supernatural has a prequel now, a new character called Castiel had been added, and I am quite proud of the fan shipping community for making 'Destiel' a thing. This one is for you guys: Destiel is canon in reality.

Balthazar's spent this year trying to find someone who'll let him have a platypus as a pet. He says it's in homage for Sam and Gabriel. I guess that's the reason Balthazar stole my debit card, which I had stupidly told him the number for, and had used my money from my books to buy us a beach house in Australia.

I kept in touch with Adam, and apparently he's alright. John lost his business and had gone on to work for Heaven®, which Adam's not happy about, but it couldn't be helped. Adam got a girlfriend, and he's probably the first straight person I have been friends with in a while.

What else happened back at home, I don't know about. All that I know is that it remains a mystery to everyone who lives in Earthworld, and like I said before, maybe you can use this story to clear up a few things.

Like I said at the beginning, starting a story is hard. You know you have to write the story perfectly, with just the right about of tension when you need it, building up to the dramatic plot twists and the epic ending.

Ending a story is harder. You know you have to write the end of the story perfectly, with just the right about of clarity when you need it, building down to the satisfying ending and happy lives.

I guess to end this story, I should talk about Dean and Castiel. Well, Balthazar has already book our flights to Japan to go to their wedding; that is, if they stay in Japan long enough to get married there. For all we know, they could be in Brazil tomorrow. Or maybe Russia. Or maybe New Zealand. Or maybe they'll turn up on our doorstep with a smile and say "guess who's back?" and we'll all hug and exchange stories. Dean will tell of the time they went to Kenya and met a lion, and Castiel will tell us about the time Dean's jacket caught on fire by the fire-breather street performer in London. They'll tell us of their travels around the world in that Impala of theirs, driving from one side of the country to the other, boarding ferries and landing themselves somewhere new. Or how they'll fly somewhere only to be reunited with their Impala after it being shipped across. Those two always back it back to their home: the Impala.

Sometimes when I go outside and I look out to the beach, I see a couple holding hand as they walk through the sand. The sun will be setting, it dark outside, and I can only see their silhouettes. But they'll hold hands and they'll laugh, the taller one grabbing the small one by the waist, spinning him around and holding him tightly in his arms, and they'll look at each other, the sun burning behind them, and they'll kiss, and the fire will rage and roar and will consume them until I realise that they're not real, that Sam and Gabriel do no live the happily ever after in their lives, but I can't help but hope that what I see is real, that their ghosts live here on the beach of Australia.

Balthazar has just sat behind me. He's placed his chin on my shoulder and has wrapped his arms around my waist. He just lent across and placed a small kiss behind my ear.

"You finished yet?" he whispers. He used to ask that a lot. He won't say it again.

"Yes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! It's over!!!
> 
> If you're as heartbroken as me, then you're probably crying right now.
> 
> Just to let you know, I am accepting character asks for this fic that will be featured in Chapter 22. You can ask the characters any question from any point in the story (if it's from a timepoint of a certain chapter, please tell me). You can either ask below in the comments, or you can ask in my ask box on my SPN Tumblr:
> 
> gripdeantightandraisehim.tumblr.com/ask
> 
> So yes, please ask, because I think it will be really fun to do character asks, because I'm sure there's some plotholes that you want filling in...
> 
> Thank you all for reading! I've really enjoyed writing this, and the response from you all has been amazing!!! Love you all so much!!!!


	22. NEW COMIC!!!!

ALONE TOGETHER COMIC!!!!!

 

Hey! So, I decided to try and draw a comic for Alone Together. It's on my Tumblr, so whether you've got a Tumblr or not, check it out [HERE!!!!!!](http://gripdeantightandraisehim.tumblr.com/atcomic)


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